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Newlywed problem!! Some one please help


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Ok so I really need some help... I got married a couple of months ago... and so far things have been terrible! I should haven't have gotten married... we weren't getting along before he proposed.. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT HIM TO ASK ME OUT AGAIN! we've had a horrible relationship! things turned into a mission for me i would stop at nothing to marry him even though i didnt love him at all anymore. he would constantly flirt with other girls throw parties while i was at work and wouldnt tell me! ruined every relationship i had with another girl! i have no more friends! he made it so that i obviously couldnt trust him and i couldnt trust the girls i was so close with! i have so much hatred in my heart for him. he treats me like crap now. and calls me the most disgusting degrading words! even thought he says sorry and tries to make it up i just dont know how to let it go... i dont forgive him for anything hes done to me or anything hes said. i cant leave him because i dont believe in divorce. but i dont know how to let go of the things he used to do and still occasionally does... im just so confused. there are times when i try to forget everything and be the perfect housewife for him but its never good enough! so then i get fed up of doing everything only to be treated like complete garbage and so i get an attitude... one very well deserved and then he wants to be nice and everything should be ok... i should just forget all the horrible things he said to me and about me to everyone! but of course i dont because of how upset i am and once i cool off and try to apologize for getting upset at him after he made me upset by treating me the way he did and now... what do you know... HES MAD AT ME! WHAT DO I DO? HOW TO I BECOME CONTENT WITH WHAT MY LIFE HAS TURNED INTO? DO I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY? I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO BE MARRIED! HELP

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Of course you deserve to be happy! He sounds very controlling and I would get out while you still can. These are signs of a very abusive relationship to come if not already. If you feel like you don't want to be married after only a few months, imagine what you'll feel like in years. Best of luck and everyone deserves happiness!

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did u think it was all going to change after you got married? are you using him for financial purposes? try counseling but u need to forgive him first or it will never work. maybe you are contributing to it too without realizing. good luck...don't fake being happy its not good for him or you.

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So, you mean to tell me you won't divorce him because you don't believe in it-...does this mean you're going to spend the rest of your life married to someone you can't stand? Do you want that miserable life? We only get one chance at life, why waste it unhappy?

 

I don't need to tell you it was stupid to marry him, you know that already. No reason to focus on the past. It's time to move on to the here and now, and the future.

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I should haven't have gotten married... we weren't getting along before he proposed.. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT HIM TO ASK ME OUT AGAIN! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO BE MARRIED!

I'm sure the most obvious question on everyone's mind is "WHY did you get married??" You say you weren't even getting along beforehand, so why on earth did you get married??

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You can't change the past..trust me I know. It probably wasn't the best idea to have married him if you weren't getting along and didn't want to marry him. I understand though that you may have thought marriage would change things for the best. Now you see that is not the case. Which is what is causing you distress.

 

I think the best thing to do is talk to him about how you feel. Do it in a calm and rational way. Ask him what he thinks you should do? If he refuses to sit down and talk it out rationally. I would suggest maybe getting some counseling for both of you and if he refuses maybe some individual counseling. The counseler will help you deal with the everyday problems and emotional pain he may put you through. (Since you don't believe in divorce and least you will have a trained professional in psychology helping you deal with everything)

 

BUT if he starts to hurt you physically like hitting you or throwing things at you or even just throwing things near you. (my parents have a borderline physically abusive relationship due to the fact my dad throws stuff near my mom and not at her but in my opinion that is still physical abuse because it could potentially hurt you.) Anyways if he does anything that hurts you physically or could potentially hurt you i'm sorry to say the best thing to do would be to get out. You don't have to divorce him you could just leave and be seperated. So you can be safe.

 

Good luck and next time you make a huge decision like marriage make sure you take time to think and be sure of what YOU WANT. In the end you will be a happier person. Trust me.

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