Falling for flatemate!! wish it was sombody else please!

[Bob Fossel]

Ok recently I have become really attracted to a girl I am living with and its become very hard not to think about her.

 

We have been flat mates for 8 months but we did not know each other before that. We are both at the same university but she is a bit younger than me. We get along as friends we don’t hang around socially that often as we have our own circles of friends

 

One would say we are totally different people in terms of personality, Interests and even musical tastes. I wouldn’t say we click much at all but I can have a decant conversation with her and despite our differences we have similar ambitions in life and I have felt ok confiding with her about personal issues (apart from this one). We also make each other laugh when having a conversation alone, which is not very often these days.

 

I find this very very annoying, it can be childish to mean about having a crush on somebody and I sometimes say that to others. But its not as easy as the whole “tell her or move on” thing because I do live with her and see her everyday. This makes it a whole not more difficult because if ive ever liked somebody elsewhere in my life who has not been interested, its easier moving on and finding other girls, or having night out on the town and seeing if you get lucky.

 

I would say that she would not be interested as I have not really got those kind of signs from her (although sometimes it has seemed like she has) and she has sometimes said so herself how different we are. She’s also shown disapproval for the way I sometimes behave and the fact that I can be a little mad sometimes. I also find it odd that she seems to act more comfortably around other guy friends she has, even ones she does not know as well, than me i.e. physical gestures etc. She also seems more edgy when we are both in social situations with others; alone she’s easier to talk to. Her family would also disapprove of her dating somebody who’s not of her cultural background. She’s not the type of girl who really gets with guys much if i am putting that right i.e. not had a boyfriend in that sense since ive known her or even shown interest in anybody(better than the opposite). So I don’t know what all this could mean. Oh yeh she also dislikes 2 of my best mates here and has admitted finding my northern accent difficult to understand sometimes.

 

Either way its getting harder to cope with all of this, she lives in the room next to me and I can never concentrate on my work/university work, a part time web business iam trying to get going, and other projects I have. I sometimes get insecure if she has guy friends round socially because I can hear them. Normally I have no problem being single minded with other aspects of my life if I have girl trouble. But this is affecting my whole life. Its even affecting my attitude when I meet other girls, ie not calling them back or meeting them again even if I like them!! Its 2 months until I move out and move in with other friends so I guess the ordeal is gona be over with soon but I am dreding that day because I know iam gona miss her!! Although we said we would be in touch as mates

 

I don’t know what to do but any help would be great!! A bit long but I feel like I needed to say as much as I can. There’s more to it but I it would be way to long if I went into that,

 

[Capricorn3]

I would say that she would not be interested and she has sometimes said so herself how different we are. She’s also shown disapproval for the way I sometimes behave and the fact that I can be a little mad sometimes.

 

Its 2 months until I move out and move in with other friends so I guess the ordeal is gona be over with soon (

I don't think there's much you can do about it, unless of course you come right out and confess your feelings to her. So far, after reading your post a couple of times, I have to say I can't find a single indication that she is even slightly interested in you (sorry), so maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to let loose with your feelings etc.

 

That said, you say you are moving out in 2 months, so I think that alone should help quite a lot. It's probably better in the end.

[Bob Fossel]

No need to say sorry. what i need to hear is better than what i wana hear. Its good to get another perspective though

 

I got the feeling that fessing up would not be the best idea esp if i want to be in touch as a friend after i leave. Its best that she does not feel awkward. But i dont usually do repression. id rather end the limbo ordeal end 1 way or another because it is so distracting to other aspects of my life. esp when i see her every day and hear her in the room nxt to me(seeing her in nightwear around the flat doesn't help). Id like to think there is more i can do than just wait for things to be over but ne ting else just seems like a bad idea. But i know it will be off my head if i did fess up or make it known.

 

She is away for a week soon i think. so throwing a party and meeting other girls then may help wat u reckon? Or just getting out more(even though ive got a lot of work on at the min) Gotta get over it somehow if shes not interested.