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Boyfriend's parents going through divorce. How can I help?


inDenial

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My boyfriend's parents are fighting a lot lately and there seems to be a chance that they will be getting a divorce. My boyfriend is very upset about it and he IM-ed me last night. he said he was angry at his parents for being stupid and he didn't even want to try to help anymore.

 

I had to go out and I told him that I would have my phone on me if he needed to talk. I texted him twice to see if he was ok and I also called once. He didn't answer my texts or my calls so I've decided to back off and give him his space.

 

What can I do to help? I know he tends to pull away when things aren't going smooth for him. The last time he was stressed he didn't talk to me for days. I have heard of cases where the boyfriend breaks up with his girlfriend when his parents are broken up and I definitely don't want that to happen to us.

 

What can I do/how can I act to relieve his stress? Should I bring it up or wait for him to talk about it?

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Tell him that saving his parents is NOT his responsibility. That they are adults and need the freedom to do as they need to do, just like he'd hope they would give him freedom to do so. That you care about him no matter what and you want to be the person he can talk to.

 

Go for walks. It's a GREAT way to get someone talking because you're not face to face, and you feel safer to talk.

 

Find other instances of kids going through this and bring it up with him, how they handled it.

 

Suggest to him that they won't stop loving him, it's just about them, not him.

 

Maybe give statistics about how people do survive divorce.

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