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how often do you initiate sex and get rejected?


velvette

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(specify your gender!)

 

it seems sort of "common sense" (or at least that's how the media portrays it!) that guys ask more and are rejected by headaches/not in the mood/not romantic enough rebuttals, but I'm sure the ladies out there have had their fair share of rejections!

 

I only ask because I got rejected last night haha. I bought a new nighty/undies and pranced around in front of him after I showered last night, and said "come f*** me!" but he said "you're in my way I can't see!" (playing COD; a computer game lul). )':

 

turns out he just didn't hear what I said and totally clued out, stupid man. but once he finally realized we had some fantastic sex!

and in our relationship I've never had to reject sex, unless I was on my period or just super sore from the day before. and he's never rejected sex unless he was just really, really tired. we both initiate sex about equally. so I wonder what are the real reasons people will reject sex for? and if it's true that "most" men initiate sex more often. HM

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Over 5 years of various relationships, I can't ever recall having been rejected. There were times when they had already cum too many times in one night and sex was physically painful, but I didn't take that as rejection.

 

On the other hand, I have done quite a bit of rejecting Mostly it was when I was on BC and I didn't have any sex drive whatsoever. Other times I was tired, sick or just didn't feel like it. I can't enjoy sex if I'm not in the mood.

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I have been rejected. My first 2 relationships (18 months each), both guys had erection difficulties, it killed any little self esteem I had gained by the tender age of 24. They were both 8/9 years older than me and since then I'm scared of older guys (dated younger ones after that), it's one of those things I can't relive. Since then I have become reluctant to initiate sex. I still kinda did and I got rejected sometimes, maybe 10 times overall in 3 LTRs. There were many times I wanted it and didn't initiate.

 

I haven't often rejected sex, unless something is very wrong in the relationship.

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I have been rejected. My first 2 relationships (18 months each), both guys had erection difficulties, it killed any little self esteem I had gained by the tender age of 24. They were both 8/9 years older than me and since then I'm scared of older guys (dated younger ones after that), it's one of those things I can't relive. Since then I have become reluctant to initiate sex. I still kinda did and I got rejected sometimes, maybe 10 times overall in 3 LTRs. There were many times I wanted it and didn't initiate.

 

I haven't often rejected sex, unless something is very wrong in the relationship.

ah man

 

I hope the rejection was just "one of those things". You shouldnt let it damage your ego. tell those older guys to get a case of viagra, and keep up!

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I've never had a relationship with a woman with a high sex drive ( something I hope to change ), so at the start of the relationship I would initiate about 70 percent of the time and be rejected about 80 percent of the time. ( very frustrating ) After a few months of mostly rejection, I just give up on initiating and would just take care of my own needs when I felt the need.

 

I've rejected my past partners about 30 percent of the time, and it's almost always because she wants sex because she is bored. ( about as unsexy as you can get )

 

...Talking with my guy friends, it seems really "hit or miss" on finding a woman with a healthy sex drive, and it makes me wonder if this is the main reason why some men cheat on their partner. ( I've never cheated, but I know from experience that long term relationships are doomed if you aren't compatible in the bedroom )

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I initiate a lot of the time. Maybe 60%, I'd guess.

I've never rejected him, ever. I'm always up for it.

But he's rejected me quite a few times... usually when he's been drinking, he says he won't be able to..

a lot of the time he will have sex with me after I initiate it, but he will say some kind of small excuse and then I think he realizes I might be upset so he does it anyway... which doesn't make me feel very good.

he often says he thinks he needs to go on viagra because sometimes I will be trying to turn him on and he doesn't get erect.. so I think sometimes its not his choice

and other times he will just jump me, especially if we haven't seen eachother in a while.

 

I'd love to have sex everyday, but usually it's 3 or 4 times a week. I can live with that, though.. sometimes I feel like he just doesn't want me as much.

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I can only recall once in the last 6 years being rejected. And that was from sheer exhaustation on his end. I thought it would have been a nice treat to unwind him so he could fall into sleep easily, but he said he just didn't have it in him. And for that to happen, he musta been pretty freakin' tired.

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i wish i could initiate sex! how do you do it?

There are many many ways - the most obvious is to tell him upfront that you want some, lol, or in more subtle ways, you hint by feeling him in all the right places, kissing him and letting it lead up to (hopefully) more. Use your imagination - it's really easy, lol.

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I try to initiate probably 90% of the time, and am rejected probably 80% of the time. I have never once rejected her in 2+ years.

 

It makes me sad more often than anything else in the relationship. Just this past weekend, the gf and I went on a mini trip to a new city and stayed in a hotel room. Before the trip, the gf remarked how hotels make her feel so sexy, and she said she would pack some sexy underwear for the room!

 

We had a fantastic time together during the day (we really did), and when we got back to the hotel room she jumped in bed with me and snuggled up close. I asked her with a smile if she had packed her sexy underwear, and she replied "yep!". I then gave her a kiss and said, "maybe you could change into them!".

 

Her reply? "Ugh, I don't think so. My stomach feels so full." Annnddd then she went to sleep.

 

ARGHAHGHG. This one hurt so bad that I couldn't even bring up sex last night even though I was still crazy horny.

 

My question is: does anybody out there who is routinely rejected AND does not reject his/her partner feel good about the relationship overall? Can I just get over it and accept it? I love my gf and like most aspects of our relationship, but this constantly kills me.

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Find out what's wrong and either fix it or dump her and move on. Assuming you ask for sex once a day and get shot down 80% of the time, you are having sex about once a week. You can expect this to get worse once you get married and have kids.

 

Getting rejected this much is unexceptable. If everytime your gf asked you to go out and do something you shot her down and said you wanted to stay home and veg, she'd probably dump you. Why should she away with what she is doing?

 

Sounds like sex is important to you and not to her. I'd head for higher ground. There are women out there that like sex as much as you do. I suggest you find one of them or get used to the frustration you are feeling now, and then prepare to multiply it by 5 in about 5 years and 2 kids.

 

Oh yeah, and people are going to say you are probably not meeting her emotional needs, making her feel appreciated and/or going about asking her in the wrong way. Here's what I say to that....crap, crap, crap.

 

The vagina isn't a Rubic's Cube. It shouldn't be a puzzle that needs figuring out to get it to work. If the individual enjoys and wants sex, he/she will have sex. Simple as that. If the person needs a manicure, flowers, a new blouse and her back and feet rubbed to get her in the mood, that person doesn't like sex and no matter what you do you are not going to change her into a person that does.

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