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Interesting turn of events. Need some advice.


sharples2

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A few of you may remember my posts from early last year about going through my breakup.

 

(Quick recap) I'm 23 dated a 28 year old girl for 2 years. We were both in love with eachother. She broke up with me because I stopped spending as much time with her and hung out with my friends and family a little more. I was always with her 24/7 and cut myself off from the rest of the world. She took it as I wasn't into her as much and that she was always afraid that other girls would try and hit on me. I am 5 years younger so if we broke up in 2 years she is 30 and single while I would only be 25 and still have time to find someone before I get "Old" as she would put it. She thought that my mom didn't like her and that because I am 23 I am not looking to settle down any time soon.

 

She started dating my Manager at work in the beginning of 2009 (He just became recently divorced because he walked in on his wife cheating on him. She is the first girlfriend that he has dated after his wife. He is 30) and has been for the past 13 months. She would always comapre the two of us and say that she thinks about me every day, misses me, he isn't that great in bed, they fight all the time, he is a control freak, he asked her what she would say if he asked her to marry her ect. She would make sure that she would get in contact with me once every month or two just to pop in the picture.

 

It has made the moving on process a little longer but I have healed 100%. She was the only person that I have ever felt that way before in my life. I still think about her (more of a friendship way). When we do talk I always keep if friendly and flirt a little with her like I would do if it was anyone else.

 

 

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Well she called my cellphone yesterday and we ended up talking for almost an hour (She has never done that before). She brought up things from our relationship that made her upset and said that it was okay that I was just young and was almost like I understand and forgive you. But when we broke up she was basically like "F You" whatever go do what you have to do. She made a comment like I miss you. I still think about you, you are a great guy ect.

 

She was telling me that her boyfriend found out that we were friends on facebook and flipped out on her yesterday saying that I have tried to ruin their relationship many times (Not the case at all, I don't even contact her unless she contacts me first) and how could she be friends with me on there. He doesn't even know that she still sends me emails or calls me here and there or he would flip out on her. She hides the fact that we talk from him.

 

She also mentioned about why I didn't try and take her back when she wanted to get back together in the fall when we first broke up (we went over this many times). I explained to her like i have before that I needed some space and time to realize what I wanted in life and that if I knew she was that hurt about the break up then I would have gotten back togher with her. She didn't cry in front of me or even ask for me to come over and talk about getting back together. She would just send me songs that related to how she felt about us. I didn't get the hint or what she was trying to say at the time. I was hurt too, I just didn't show it.

 

I told her that I completely understand how hurt she was because I went through what she went thought when she started dating her current boyfriend. How we listened to music and went through the whole healing process except she jumped right into a relationship and didn't wait until she was fully healed. When she called me up to break up with me at the time I told her that she was making the stupidest decesion of her life and she said that people make stupid decesions all the time. She said that she was sorry for that and that she said that out of anger and not because she meant wanting to break up with me.

 

I also told her that when I was younger (14-20), I had a hard time thinking about how couples can be with just one person for the rest of their life knowing that this is the only thing you are going to see for 40+ years. I mentioned that my whole view on that changed when I met her because of the way we were both drawn togehter and clicked. I woudn't care if I didn't hook up with another girl for the rest of my life because she was all that I ever wanted. I told her that I have a whole new view on relationships and life because of what I went through.

 

It ended with her saying that we should meet up sometime and grab an icecream. I asked her what her boyfriend would feel about it and she said that he doesn't have to know.

 

 

I don't understand what she is doing. I find it very strange because she has never called me like that to talk about things about our relationship that was 2+ years ago. Maybe she is finally realizing that he isn't Mr Great! as she first thought. Anyone want to help me understand what she is doing or has something similar happened to you? What should I do?

 

Thanks

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Her current relationship is bad and she is looking back to the good parts of her relationship with you to compensate.

 

But she is deceiving her boyfriend - and if she deceive him she will deceive you if she ever becomes unhappy.

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I always knew that he was rebounding with her, and she is clearly rebounding with him based on her actions and what she has said about the relationship over the past year.

 

She is the type of girl that has never been single for more than 3 months in her life. She dated her first boyfriend for 10 years(15-25). I was her second boyfriend for the next two years and she started talking to him 4 months after we broke up but we were still having sex all the way up until I found out that she was talking to him.

 

I feel that she jumped into a relationship with him to escape the pain from our breakup. I think its a matter of a few more months before she finds some dumb excuse to break up with him.

 

It was just strange and not sure what her motives are. I was even throwing out there "Oh when are you going to have a baby with him". Cause that was one of the things she mentioned to me right after they started dating that he is 30 and is ready and wants to start a family unlike myself for being too young. Yesterday she was like I am not having a baby for a few more years. She hasn't even moved in with him and its been 14 months. He asked her to move in after they were dating 3 months. She wanted me to move in with her after the first year.

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