Now what?

[Hopelives]

Long story short:

 

I broke up with him, more or less, 1.5 years ago. After choking up the night before, emailing me the next day, he posted his profile on a dating site for wealthy individuals. I was crushed.

 

Fast forward, I wrote him last Spring to thank him for everything. Mostly, for giving me the kick in my arse to get me on the path to med school, for showing me the humble life in a small town, etc.

 

After I signed it, I wrote in the P.S. spot something to the affect that my feelings for him had never changed, and out of respect for that, if he were so inclined, I'd ask him not to write.

 

He did. Within 2 hours of me emailing it in the middle of the night. The email from him was short, excited for me, and wishing me luck.

 

I was crushed (I know - wth is wrong with me).

 

Then I found out he lied about his age (he is 55, I'm 45) on his dating site. How did I know? Because I had an ad up as well, he popped into my search. Furthermore, there was a blind ad with an interesting sounding man. So, I sent a picture request to it.

 

No response.

 

Fast forward to now: my dilemma started with a concert that's being held at a place where he is on the board, at least I'm pretty sure. I was not sure I should let him know... decided to just go.

 

However, I'd posted an ad on the same dating site a few months ago, without my picture. Now that blind ad has a picture attached, it is him.

 

Last night, my ex, added me as a favorite. I got the email. He might think it is me, he might have forgotten all about me, he might be clueless.

 

I was not sure what to do. I wanted him to know it was me so... I'm not the one being deceptive.

 

My email to him was light - nothing serious more liken to "Hey, this handsome guy wrote me from link removed added me as a favorite ... likes dogs, is a doctor... know him? I'm as;dfk, nice to meet you!" Then just something light about me going to that concert, ended with a joke and my always stated, "Make it a great day, see rainbows in every situation ~"

 

So... I'm stressed. I can't control what he does or does not do. I know that. Guess I just needed a place to put this because my head (as is noted in my post in ex-bf/gf relationships) is all over the map.

[DN]

Why did you break up with him?

[Hopelives]

That's the weird thing... he'd been gone to a family only reunion (I was mere gf). Then he moved daughter to her new place, then came home and was swamped that week at work, etc.

 

I merely asked what about me? Where did I fit into all that he had going on. It had been 10 days since I'd seen him, was going to be another week at least. I'm not willing to be a doormat and take whatever smidgens of time he has left over.

 

He was ... stunned. The conversation about how to make things work so I didn't feel like 8th place in his life was going no where, so I said I should ship his stuff back. He asked if there was someone new. I said no. He choked up. Cell phones died. That was it.

 

He posted profile on dating site. I left him alone.

[DN]

I think you were very precipitate in breaking up with him. Do you regret that and would you want him back?

[Hopelives]

I don't regret breaking things off. BUT I would likewise go back in a heart beat. His life has changed. The things that kept him very pre-occupied have lessened.

 

I'm just not sure if he "knew" that it was me he sent the favorites add to (my picture was not on profile but I'm not sure how many 6'1" fitting the rest of my description reside in this town AND post profiles on that site AND sound like me)...

 

Yes, I would dangle my toes in the water... albeit slowly.

[DN]

I think if you want to try again you are going to have to make a greater effort than dangling toes in the water. You need to make it very clear what you want and why.

[Hopelives]

I think the part I have not said, is that he wrote me a week after we broke up and said "blah blah blah blah... you will find and deserve much better than me... you are the most compassionate, kind, passionate, considerate... blah blah blah"

 

Last year when I wrote him the thank you for arse kicking, and asked him NOT to respond because my feelings were still pretty strong for him, he did anyway... "Wow!! That's fabulous!! Good luck on your quest!!"

 

Then I winked, asking for a photo, at his NON-photoed dating ad, NOT knowing it was him (last fall).

 

I did NOT know that was him. He did NOT respond to my wink.

 

However, THAT ad now has his picture attached. That same ad, him, has added me as a favorite.

 

So... I want to be back with him. I never truly wanted to end but it had to be. Now, I'm not sure if he was blowing me off last fall, knew it was me now, wants to be with me now?

 

Like I said, not too many 6'1" women with my characteristics who are single and on that site.

 

I'd do more than dangle, but he has to give me the "go" sign...

[DN]

Sorry, but you haven't done enough to get a 'go sign'. More is needed.

[Hopelives]

I feel like anymore and I'm begging... he told me after we broke up that he wanted time with his son, then posted his profile on that dating site.

 

I wrote to him last spring and he was like "!!!"

 

Then I wrote to him this fall, KNOWING it was him, and he did not respond.

 

I feel like anything more I would do... would make me a doormat.

 

I would do almost anything... I adore this man. Completely. Ball is now in his court (again).