FEAR of getting beat??? vent and insights??

[allgood]

Well I think for me, the biggest thing that's holding me back is fear. I wanna be more positive and think positive thoughts but sometimes it's just hard. I workout, run and started brazillian jiu jitsu/kickboxing this week. i started jui jitsu and kickboxing to improve my confidence and do something different.

 

The thing is that fear is always trying to play with my head and i seriously can't figure out what it is. So this week i started brazillian jiu jitsu and loved it. it's basically wrestling on the ground with arm locks chokes and submissions.

 

so when i started, i loved it and enjoyed trying to submit/wrestle people. but on my 3rd lesson when i wrestled with a third opponent, i totally got dominated and submitted. I took it fairly well and learned alot and afterwards did kickboxing lesson.

 

the next day though, my mind kept going through what happened and i started getting scared. I wrestled and got submitted on my first lesson and took it well but this time my mind is just running wild with thoughts of failing and not wanting to wrestle anymore. I don't understand it, it's like im scared to get hurt physically but in reality all i need to do is tap on my opponent to prevent getting hurt.

 

is my ego hurt??? (im short and stocky) since i got submitted by a less bigger opponent than myself??? i know i think too much but this seriously use to happen to me when i was younger and did karate tournaments. Before i would get scared of my opponent and not perform my best and afterwards my opponents that i beat tell me that i couldve beaten the guy.....I conquered it though on my last tournament ages ago and just didnt care who i faught... (it's all semi contact so no big deal)

 

but i dont know why i get scared afterwards?? Ive gotten into real fights before and stuff but i dont understand this fear. I just wanna enjoy jiu jitsu and kickboxing for what it is and not get scared to get hurt. Im a friendly guy and a bit quiet at times to new people........ is it to do with my personality???

 

it also affects my carreer life since im scared to get something related to my degree or start required industrial experience to graduate at uni..... my mind is all over the place.....

 

Random post i know. but any insights???

[sidehop]

Is this fear recent or did you have this growing up? Did you have any type of trauma or major incident in your life that made you fear of many things?

[allgood]

i actually have had this all my life to think about it. Like in terms of confrontations and fights....ive remembered all my fights since i was in kindergarten. how im either scared or angry..... but i havent had that much fights or anything, im a not a street fighter or anything

 

no accidents really but when i was born they had to do a cesarean on my mum since i was getting choked by my ambilical chord.....my mum said thats probably why i get nervous and worry easy.....

 

i think i get scared when the person looks mean or scary......but the guy that submitted me wasnt scary at all he looked like he was a good grappler and he was...

 

like tomorrow im going to an open bjj class with mma students on it.... im scared but ill stil go... it would be better if i didnt have the fear because i really love this stuff. i wanna figure this out i know its not interesting to people i just dont like having this fear that turns into paranoia and makes me not want to go anymore.....

[joebloggs]

You firstly need to understand and rationalise your fear.

 

How does it feel?

Does it happen when faced with a situation where you feel you will lose out on something or to somebody else?

Is it the threat of a physical confrontation or also in other situations?

 

JB.

[allgood]

well i guess it's when I know i've given up on myself and actually get scared when i "give up"... with career wise it's that i'm scared that i wont be able to do it or like it.

 

well today i went bjj and wrestled again and i didn't really fear anymore, i think it was my mindset.. i came there to learn and learn i did. i think my ego was there aswell so once i let go of my ego my fear went.... now its just to face the fear of doing sparring in kickboxing and mma to get over.

 

career wise i just have to do the work exp and apply for graduate positions

 

thanks heaps for the input joebloggs and sidehop... i guess i just needed people to have their thoughts on my situation. and enotalone is just a good place for venting and to hear peoples input.

[jetnick]

Allgood. I'm Nick (new member).

 

I'm really glad that you posted your thoughts about your fears regarding Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I am going through the same thing right now. I am fascinated by the sport, understand the theory, and am eager to learn the techniques. But after just a few times going to class, i have to contend with a profound sense of apprehension every time I go.....just put one foot in front of the other and do it.

 

I am 50 years old, and just starting BJJ. I was a wrestler years ago, in high school, but my experience with BJJ is the first time on a mat to grapple in almost 35 years. So, I'm older than everybody else by about 20 years, and perhaps this is psyching me out. For 50, i'm in pretty good shape. Run a couple of miles daily, lift weights......weigh-in at 160 pounds. Solid.

 

But in the BJJ class, i realize that i'm no match for my younger and more knowledgeable BJJ classmates. I enjoy the technique portion, but when we "roll", I can hold my own for awhile, with some of the guys, but i hate that feeling of getting dominated. Which is frequently. I go pretty intensely, and so do my opponents.

 

I dunno.....i guess this must be ego. I don't have to show up someplace where my ass gets handed to me on a regular basis.....and so that part of me, the part that wants to quit, just says "don't go. you don't have to".

 

I don't want to listen to that voice. I want to learn this, do my best, not get hurt (which is kind of an ongoing fear), and learn to find this more enjoyable and not something to dread. I remind myself of the benefits: Extremely good conditioning, the satisfaction of a new skill, physical self-confidence, comeraderie. So, i don't want to quit. .....but it's this damned apprehension. Has it gotten better for you?

 

How are you dealing with this?

[allgood]

well i guess i keep looking at mma videos that inspire me. Like frank mir, gsp and other mma fighters who kept saying it's about suffering and wanting to get better at it. frank mir said that martial artists have to face adversity and they become better through it.

 

i went bjj again yesterday and had to tap 2ce to my opponent when i rolled with him. he was more senior and taller but in the end he gave me pointers on how to escape etc. it's about learning i guess and remembering your just a beginner.

 

in the end face your fears and just think years from now if you would have regretted not going etc.... i think, just have the mindset of just wanting to learn and that you cant get hurt if you tap early.

i think if you leave your ego at the door then it wont matter.... i guess once i did that i have more fun and love rolling and learning new moves..

 

i guess keep at it, if you love doing bjj then dont stop. It's an awesome martial art. if you have a wrestling background then you have an advantage if you do no-gi rolling where you start standing.

 

if you love it, then why quit??? face your fears and once you conquer them youll feel better.