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Becoming frustrated and sad


Kashmir4321

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Maybe this should be in the healing forum, but I guess this one has become sort of a comfort zone of sorts for me. My last post is there, but maybe I'll get more advice here?

 

I feel so frustrated with my whole situation. I hate that such an issue exists that makes me feel so hurt and sad, and I there is nothing I can do to remedy the problem, besides No Contact, which really is doing nothing. Yes, I can heal and better myself in every way that I can think of, and I have been, but really nothing I do or don’t do has any affect on my ex. I know the intended purpose of No Contact is not to get an ex back, but I can’t help that that is what I want at this point.

 

I’m finding myself haunted by all the memories of us together, and even more haunted by what could have been. I know it’s such an unhealthy attitude, but whenever I manage to enjoy myself, like walking outside on a nice day, I can’t help but think to myself, “I wish I could spend this beautiful day with him.” I’m getting all these great ideas for romantic evenings, and fun days, (we had gotten kind of boring) but I can’t do them with him to show him that we can be exciting again if we make it so! I’ve been trying to improve myself in many ways; trying to make sure that I never repeat those relationship mistakes again. I’m healing and rebuilding a life worth living for myself, but one that I still want him to be a part of, as my boyfriend.

 

I keep telling myself that there really is nothing that I can do. The only way he will come back is if he wants to, and there’s little I can do to make that happen. Especially since he started dating that caveman girl three weeks after we ended, (yes, I am bitter, but it’s also true,) and they’re still together. I just feel so helpless. In most of my life’s other problems, there seems to be a solution to it. Just work harder, or try harder, or something simple. But the best I can do here is nothing? It’s driving me crazy.

 

Maybe I’m just in a negative mood (probably) but I can’t help but feel like this is where I’m going to be stuck for a long time. I get about my day as normal, I do well in school, and I have fun improving my artistry, and enjoy spending time with my friends, but I miss my ex terribly and I long for him so much whenever my mind has a moment to wander.

 

Has anyone been in this place, and can tell me of your experience in it? How and when did it end? And really if you have any other advice, I’ll take anything I can get.

 

I hope I don’t come accross as being dependent on others for my own happiness, or ignoring the intended purpose of taking the time to move on and heal by the way. I truly understand its vitality. But it’s been nearly three months for me, without any contact, (besides the initial begging), and I just don’t know what to do with myself any more. There seems to be no hope, and maybe for good reason. But I want my love back.

 

Thanks for listening to today’s little rant.

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Yes, I can heal and better myself in every way that I can think of, and I have been, but really nothing I do or don’t do has any affect on my ex.

 

It's very difficult and I'm sorry you're going through such pain. Our heart holds onto things like the what if's and in general being clueless sometimes as to what is going to happen next.

 

With that said you have to decide what is going to be healthy for you right now, to take steps in letting him go, and focus on becoming healthier emotionally and become yourself again.

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