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An update on the girl (former friend)- read!


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Okay, so in a previous thread I talked about how I'm ready to see other people after being cheated on by my ex. Anyways, I recently got in contact with an old friend and she is so great-- very sexy, charming and friendly personality, and very motivated with school and work. I like all these qualities and am extremely attracted to her.

 

Anyways, I took the advice of people on this forum and didn't ask her out on a date- instead, I went with her to a friends house and we all had beers together for St. Patrick's day. Had a lot of fun, we took pictures together etc... and on the way back she asked me back to her place.

 

So, she warned me about her dog being aggressive etc..., so I thought I would score points by just being brave and so I totally petted her dog and it instantly loved me, and I felt like she liked that=D.

 

Afterwards, (this is about 1 am), she made a light dinner for both of us and we ate and talked for an hour.

 

I told her I had to go, and she walked me out and gave me a strong hug and kissed me on the cheek.

 

That was about it, she asked me to text her when I'm home and I did, she texted me back and went to sleep.

 

Anyways, what do you guys think? Honestly I am having a difficult time understanding whether its a friendship or something more developing. Because you know, she is a friendly person, and so it is easy to misread the signs.

 

What should I do next? Should I ask her out, or should I tag along for a few more occasions like this and just see how it plays out? For example, I offered to come help her our with her homework (I made the excuse that I miss schoolwork) and she said that would be great because she hates doing it alone.

 

I'm kind of excited but I feel like I might be setting myself up for dissapointment, and I absolutely do not want to lose a friend- what do you guys think?

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I'm kind of excited but I feel like I might be setting myself up for dissapointment, and I absolutely do not want to lose a friend- what do you guys think?

A greater disappointment would be if you didn't give it a shot. She asked you back to her place, now it's your turn. Go help her with her homework some night, and see how it goes. If it goes well, then ask her out on a date.

 

Granted, it will sting a bit if she rejects any kind of romantic involvement, but you have to suck it up and try. There's no reason why you'd lose a friend unless you just took things way too fast, or just couldn't handle staying friends if you did happen to be rejected. Every challenge could have paradise behind it.

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Honestly, it all sounds very good...

 

Not only did she ask you back, but prolonged the stay... Made "dinner" for you both at 1 a.m. & still chatted with you more into the wee hours...

 

Also, asking you to text when you got home & returning one to you right away says something, I think...

 

And she was receptive to your offer in getting together again for homework help, which definitely seems like a positive cue.

 

I say she probably has picked up on some level that you "like" her, and it sounds as though she likes you as possibly more than a friend as well. It is difficult to say what is on someone else's mind or heart for sure, but it at least totally sounds positive enough for you continue seeing where it goes...

 

Next step - just go ahead & help her with her homework as you planned. See how that plays out.... Depending on how, you can then form an even better idea... Just take it one step at a time at this point...

 

Enjoy & good luck...

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So latest update: I texted her telling her I would be in the area around 5ish if she wanted me to come over, and she sent me this text:

 

"I'll be at school late today- till 8ish.

 

So I replied with:

 

"Ahhh okay well when u want to do homework with me or just read and play with the dog, let me know=D!"

 

And she replied:

 

"I will!"

 

 

Meh, what should I take from this really?

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Dude, you need to relax. Don't be so damn calculated in your every move. Go with the flow of things and do what comes natural. Don't look too much into everything. If you start planning your every move and over analyze everything you're gonna shoot yourself in the foot. Just treat this as a regular friend that you enjoy hanging out with. The more you act like yourself with a confident carefree attitude, the better off you'll be. This girl is a friend of yours previously before all this happened, so just be that right now.

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Just be casual with her. Invite her to go out, and let her reciprocate. You'll know when its right when it feels right. Its still super new right now, so just enjoy the excitement. Don't push, don't pull, just keep your COOL. Think long and hard about how to do that, but in the end its just being yourself. If that's not enough, or too much, then move on to the next.

 

You know I just thought about how many of my gal friends would give me advice when I was dating this girl. They all said to just be myself. Be that cool person they felt attracted to to begin with. As weird as it sounds, you HAVE to just treat her like a good friend right now. You can flirt, and go out of your way a bit, but don't go overboard. Imagine this is just a very close gal friend with NO expectations. Then you can relax and be yourself. Then things will either progress, or they won't. Just don't force it.

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You left her with an open invite to let you know when she's available to hang out, and she said she will. So just let her do it. If she does, great. If she doesn't, then she doesn't. It doesn't necessarily mean she's not in to you. It could be a number of things. But you can't control that. Just wait and see what happens.

 

Oh yeah, and as much as I hate the rules of dating, there are basic things you need to follow. Here's one of them. You don't need to be in her WORLD EVERYDAY. Live your life, continue to do your own thing.

 

God how I wish I followed this logic the last few months. I certainly got caught up in thoughts. Hopefully it won't happen again.

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Alright! definitely great advice, I agree. I'll just have to keep myself as busy as possible so that I don't smother her or anything. You know, the last time I did that, about 2 weeks ago, I didn't message or call her for a week, and then she texted me randomly "can we talk for 5 min?" and I was like...whats happening...talked to her and she told me she's just really busy with her speech tournaments etc... but she really wants to see me.

 

So I'll definitely back off a little bit and see how it goes!

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Alright! definitely great advice, I agree. I'll just have to keep myself as busy as possible so that I don't smother her or anything. You know, the last time I did that, about 2 weeks ago, I didn't message or call her for a week, and then she texted me randomly "can we talk for 5 min?" and I was like...whats happening...talked to her and she told me she's just really busy with her speech tournaments etc... but she really wants to see me.

 

So I'll definitely back off a little bit and see how it goes!

 

Good luck bro.

 

 

 

Now whats that rule?

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That was about it, she asked me to text her when I'm home and I did, she texted me back and went to sleep.

 

To me this whole night went excellent, but this statement that I quoted to me this sounds really promessing, I mean ppl who care about you and maybe like you more then a friend would make such a statement, could be me only me though. But I would suggest keep the same relationship you have now with her and mybe step it up a notch, be more flirty but at the same time keep that respect and boundry that is between you, you should try to make her feelings for you to be where you want it to be, so i wouldn't recommand asking her out just yet but try to build a foundation first for something more then just a relationship and then just ask her out, at that time she wouldn't sya no to you. I promise that

 

good luck mate

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^ Thanks for the advice. Pretty hard not to contact her all day today but I'm going to hold off for a few days, see if she contacts me.

 

Man I just wish it was like the movies, I could just run up to her and tell her how much I like her and there would be no consequences. lol

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