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She broke up with me.. and now she came back...


AlexanderC

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The women I'm in love with came back into my life for the last 3 weeks and as she came back we have had great times. We have eaten sushi.. Watched movies together... Gone out dancing.. She introduced me to her mom.. We had incredible sex.. She laid it out to me and told me.. "Alex you are not a rebound" I appreciate your friendship... You are amazing.. You have been there the whole time and that's amazing to me... I am considering us..

 

And then 3 weeks later she tells me we will never be together again.. There will never be a Pamela and Alex again.. Accept it.. I don't feel the same way do... Never.. Never.. Never.. You will find somebody special as I Will.." she said she wanted to be friends... So I did just that.. I gave in so that I can keep her in my life because she is so important to me.. She calls me consistantly crying me a river about how her ex boyfriend that she met during the time we were broken up.. He treated her like * * * * .. How he threw her out of his house.. How he was verbaly abusive to her and almost hit her if she wouldn't of moved out the way.. I gave her my moral support by lifting her spirit as a friend by listening to her disapointments..

 

All of a sudden she calls me asking me for advice and asking me to remind her what kind of piece of * * * * he is.. It seems that he has been contacting her and she is overtaken by his lies Because she is blinded by the perception of love which does not exist in his eyes.. The coward manipulates her and she is taken by his lies.. Since I saw her suffering.. I took matters into my own hands by emailing him and I told him to stay away from her.. Maybe I made a mistake by doing that.. But I was tired of hearing Pamela be so misrable because of this idiot.. I was only trying to help and be there to protect her as a friend that I am.. She was upset by me emailing him and told me.. "it's none of your business".. Now I believe her ex is trying to win her back, & I'm left in the dust alone.

 

 

I have apologized to her...](*,)](*,) I wrote her a letter.... And to be honest with you... I do love her and want her in my life... It's not that I'm being selfish... If anything I am being patient and understanding.... This women is so good to me and seems to appreciate me when she is low and seems to be using me at her disposal... I am realizing this now because I just found out that she is giving her ex another chance after he attempted to hit her and left her in the street with no money, job or a place to live.

 

She told me while she needed the support that I was amazing and that this whole experience opened her eyes and she appreciated me more now...

 

But all that went out the window when this coward started to apologize and begging for her back. Now she has blocked my number and deleted me from her facebook along with blaming me for her decision.... She never even said goodbye... I have been there for her through thick and thin... To lift her spirit when she is down... and she treats me like dirt... I think I will probably never forgive her for leaving me again. I did not mention this earlier, but this women was my girlfriend for 1.5 years before informing me that she was still legally married. I forgave her. She also stood me up on new years eve while we were still together and I didnt hear from her for 6 months only to find out she was getting married to this coward that almost hit her. I'm to good to her and she took advantage of my love and devotion again.

 

I have to move on and forget this women... because she is disrupting my stable life... The only reason why I keep giving her chances is because she seemed so honest and genuine this time around... I need real advice.. But it's obvious what I should do... Move on..

 

Some one ever been in this state of confusion?

 

If so... I can take all the advice I can get..

 

Thanks

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Do everything you can to walk away and never look back. This is bad from so many different angles that it's hard to even know where to start. Just the surface structure of it all, friending her and helping her through a messy breakup, is a recipe for disaster. In the end, she can never completely respect you no matter what she wants to say.

 

That whole "you have always been there for me" thing is such an absolute conundrum of a romantic expression. On the one hand, sure, it's nice that your significant other is there for you. On the other hand, "you have always been there for me" just isn't the stuff of fiery romance. It's ok as a component of romantic love, but it can't be the foundation.

 

In the future, if you are really loving some woman, let her deal with her other romantic problems with her girlfriends. Don't be the guy whose shoulder she cries on. She will end up resenting you for that in the end because it will appear to you that you were just using her and faking friendship when you really wanted something completely different all along.

 

Caveat to previous paragraph... If she is really your friend and only your friend then DO be her shoulder to cry on. Get the distinction? Don't play shrink to some woman that you're ultimately more hot for then friend for. This is an easy rule, and everyone should play by it to avoid future frustration and potential heartache.

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Ok... lets start from the beginning here.

 

I gave in so that I can keep her in my life because she is so important to me.. She calls me consistantly crying me a river about how her ex boyfriend that she met during the time we were broken up.. He treated her like * * * * .. How he threw her out of his house.. How he was verbaly abusive to her and almost hit her if she wouldn't of moved out the way.. I gave her my moral support by lifting her spirit as a friend by listening to her disapointments.

This is a very inappropriate conversation to have with an ex. THIS is how she begins to STRING you along. She's the one who walked out on you. This is her mess.

 

All of a sudden she calls me asking me for advice and asking me to remind her what kind of piece of * * * * he is.. It seems that he has been contacting her and she is overtaken by his lies Because she is blinded by the perception of love which does not exist in his eyes.. The coward manipulates her and she is taken by his lies.. Since I saw her suffering.. I took matters into my own hands by emailing him and I told him to stay away from her.. Maybe I made a mistake by doing that.. But I was tired of hearing Pamela be so misrable because of this idiot.I was only trying to help and be there to protect her as a friend that I am.. She was upset by me emailing him and told me.. "it's none of your business"

Another step she took to string you along. Does this woman NOT have any girlfriends to share this kind of rant with? Her complaints of HOW miserable she is in another relationship toward an ex simply manipulation, whether it was intentional or not. Should of laughed and said "Heh... your problem hon," and left it there.

 

Also, you don't need to protect her. Remember, she dumped you so this is HER problem. From what you described, she has a lot of growing up to do, but she's also responsible for handling her OWN relationships with other people. I know it's hard to back away from this stuff when she brings it on to you, but you should have communicated to her that she needs to take care of her relationship problems on her own. Exes don't step in; doesn't matter if you're friends or not. This was not your fight. Lesson learned.

 

Now she has blocked my number and deleted me from her facebook along with blaming me for her decision.... She never even said goodbye... I have been there for her through thick and thin... To lift her spirit when she is down... and she treats me like dirt... I think I will probably never forgive her for leaving me again.

Honestly... I would let this one go. yea, I can see why she's mad but she also brought this on herself. She had an inappropriate conversation with you by bringing her drama, HER DIRT, to you. And she treats you like dirt and entirely blames you at the end? Over an Internet fight? Get real! That's childish on so many levels.

 

I'm sorry I don't have any better advice for you. But she is definitely right about one thing: there will be someone out there better for you. She's the one who ran into the wrong guy and left a good one for it. Think of it as she's the one who made the mistake by choosing to stay in a verbally abusive relationship.

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