When does NC become petty?

[Time2Shine]

Hey guys so I'm going on 3 weeks now of NC and things are going pretty well. I got a new job, pays six times what i got at my old job, and I also lost 15lbs! Things are going well and I'm slowly healing but not quite there yet.

 

Anyway lately i've been getting asked to hang out with some of my friends who are also the friends of my ex and well. Every event she goes to and I've made a very good effort of not going to anything she might be at just so I can continue NC. I know that NC is not supposed to be a way of getting your ex back and NC is for you. To be honest its been great but...at what point does not going to almost 90% of events because your ex there become ridiculous. See i've made alot of changes in my life while my ex has pretty much resolved herself to partying and drinking alot more then she used to.

 

So I wonder...if I never make any appearances where my ex is...how is possible that she will now that I've changed so much and had gotten back to the man she fell in love with?

[turnera]

I would think that you'd look stronger and better if you could be at those events and not have her affect you.

 

But if you can't be around her without falling apart, well, then, that's your answer.

[abitbroken]

I think that you should still give it time and make an attempt to expand your circle of friends and do new things too. In time, you won't be able to avoid going to a concert where your ex is, but you should avoid "get togethers" where "the usual bunch" meets up at a bar and she's included and make plans with 2-3 people of your choosing instead. Who is to say you can't make your own 'events'

[abitbroken]

 

So I wonder...if I never make any appearances where my ex is...how is possible that she will now that I've changed so much and had gotten back to the man she fell in love with?

 

Your goal shouldn't be "for her to see the new you." Your goal would be to be able to see mutual friends again, etc, without it being weird and to be okay whether she wants to get back together with you or not