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Communication is the Key to a Good Relationship


unknownme

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I don’t get it, many of us here are having relationship troubles, and we're discussing amongst ourselves and seeking advice, why not 1st discuss it with our loved one and resolve the issue???

 

Do you agree that communicating your needs to them will help solve the issues in the relationship???

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Not always. People are here because their parter's won't listen or can't find a way to compromise so they look for outside perspectives and help. I don't think anyone comes here with a problem unless they've tried to address it internally with their partner first and it didn't work out.

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While I agree that communication is key, you also have to recognize what good communication is.

 

Constantly talking is necessarily communicating. If you are talking to your partner about an issue but can't see their side of things when they explain it, it's good to see if others can grasp their point of view.

 

Looking for new ways to speak their language.

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A lot of the time, they dont know how to go about it and want to do it the right way. I think mostly this site increases healthy communication, not stifles it. People come here and say, "how do I go about this?" Not, "I'm going to post here instead of addressing the issue with my partner".

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Not always. People are here because their parter's won't listen or can't find a way to compromise so they look for outside perspectives and help. I don't think anyone comes here with a problem unless they've tried to address it internally with their partner first and it didn't work out.

 

Thanks for your reply...

 

A lot of the posts im reading have not discussed the issue w/ their partner yet and I think it's good to discuss it first and try to resolve the issue and if that doesnt work then it's time to look for other solutions.

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A lot of the time, they dont know how to go about it and want to do it the right way. I think mostly this site increases healthy communication, not stifles it. People come here and say, "how do I go about this?" Not, "I'm going to post here instead of addressing the issue with my partner".

 

Thanks for your point of view..

 

I Agree, many don't know how to express it to their partner...But I'm seeing a lot of people asking for for that...

 

I See a lot of: He/ She is doing this....It bothers me, ect...

(My solution is Talk to them about it, resolve it together) right??

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Usually, if people don't immediately go to the partner about something, it's because they know it will upset that person. This is something I see here (and have seen in my relationships over the years)

 

You always hear "...but I want you to be totally honest with me about everything!"

 

...and then, something that isn't positively saturated in cheerleadery "NO REALLY YOU'RE A GOD(DESS) AMONG (WO)MEN!!!" is said and all of a sudden, it's a fight.

 

Because you dared to tell the truth. So most people know when to shut up because they know the other person will react badly to anything that doesn't reinforce their self-image of being a fantastic person or partner. Or anything that might challenge them as a person emotionally.

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While I agree that communication is key, you also have to recognize what good communication is.

 

Constantly talking is necessarily communicating. If you are talking to your partner about an issue but can't see their side of things when they explain it, it's good to see if others can grasp their point of view.

 

Looking for new ways to speak their language.

 

 

Very Good Point...Yeah sometimes hearing it from others can be very helpful.

 

One of the biggest problems in relationships is where you discuss the issue agree on a solution, resolve it for a few months and then back to step 1...Start making the same mistakes again...Theres only so much one can do. In this case what's next? Move on.

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Usually, if people don't immediately go to the partner about something, it's because they know it will upset that person. This is something I see here (and have seen in my relationships over the years)

 

You always hear "...but I want you to be totally honest with me about everything!"

 

...and then, something that isn't positively saturated in cheerleadery "NO REALLY YOU'RE A GOD(DESS) AMONG (WO)MEN!!!" is said and all of a sudden, it's a fight.

 

Because you dared to tell the truth. So most people know when to shut up because they know the other person will react badly to anything that doesn't reinforce their self-image of being a fantastic person or partner. Or anything that might challenge them as a person emotionally.

 

Good Point Hex..

 

Well, then in this case you have to know when is the right time to communicate that specific issue...Warn them ahead of time that you don't want to make it into an argument but talk about it and come to a solution and agreement together.

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Not always. Sometimes all the communication in the world cannot bridge fundamental personality differences. Also too much talking can kill any mystery, particularly for men.

 

 

Yes many are different, but that is why its good to discuss the differences, for example these is something you dont like about them, Discuss it and tell them how much it bothers you, ask them if they can please make changes..and Problem Solved! I Dont mean talk Non-stop, Just when something bothers you,bring it up of course in a nice manner.

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I feel oftentimes, when you're stuck in a problem or issue, it's hard to see all sides and figure out the best way to solve it. And that's where forums like these come in. I think communicating with your SO is always the answer, but how you get there can be difficult. Forums open up all the sides of a problem so you know how you can BEST communicate with an SO. Just communicating doesn't always solve the problems. How you communicate, what you communicate - it's these points that really make a difference in a fight and a discussion.

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I only come here for advice and a chat out of pure frustration. My hubby cannot stand any chats that are not full of praise and ego boosting for him. The minute i ask for a chat about something thats bothering me he closes all routes to communication down. He sulks, pouts and gives out the silent treatment because he cannot bear to think he might be responsible for any problems.

 

By the time i have posted something on this site i have already exhausted every avenue i can to solve the problem.

 

His favourite sentence is "just because you need to talk doesnt mean i have to"

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Listening and talking with unbiased views. It's so easy to get riled up because he or she said something that doesn't agree with you. Rather than taking it directly you do have to listen to what the other person is really trying to relay. We're not all perfect communicators nor perfect listeners.

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