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Attracted to a girl who is with another guy...

flow2000

By flow2000
in Dating Advice

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flow2000 Contributor

flow2000

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I am very attracted to this girl with whom I have great chemistry and we have flirty relationship. When I finally asked her out, she told me she just got back together with her long-distance boyfriend.

We talked that evening and she admitted that she likes me a lot and not very happy with certain aspects of her long distance relationship. That night we ended up sleeping in the same bed (no sex). I respected her boundaries and never made a move on her.

I really like her but don't know what to do. Should I do NC? Should I stay friends with her? I don't want to get dumped in the friend zone by her....please help

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Jayauntae F. Rookie

Jayauntae F.

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I am very attracted to this girl with whom I have great chemistry and we have flirty relationship. When I finally asked her out, she told me she just got back together with her long-distance boyfriend.

We talked that evening and she admitted that she likes me a lot and not very happy with certain aspects of her long distance relationship. That night we ended up sleeping in the same bed (no sex). I respected her boundaries and never made a move on her.

I really like her but don't know what to do. Should I do NC? Should I stay friends with her? I don't want to get dumped in the friend zone by her....please help

 

oh boy yeah you got yourself in a mess, but it looks like you didn't go to far. tell her this

 

i understand you have a boyfriend be it long distance or not and my actions though we didn't have sex were completely out of line, and i crossed the boundaries. i totally respect you and don't mean to bring your relationship down. so i'm going to have to cut this short.....

 

i would keep a fair distance, no interactions unless you have to...

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LilBear Enthusiast

LilBear

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It sounds to me like the distance is killing her and that she wants someone a little bit closer to home (you). But then again, she did tell you she has a boyfriend, who is not you. So I think you should keep you distance. It's not her you have to respect, it's her boyfriend too. Let her sort out their problems, and don't you put a foot in. But until there's officially broken up, she's totally off limits.

 

For I sometimes feel that when a relationship is in trouble, the person trying to get out of it clings onto whoever shows the first sign on interest in her to justify getting out of it, and then not really commit to the next relationship (rebound) anyway. Do you want to be her sounding board? Guess not.

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flow2000 Contributor

flow2000

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oh boy yeah you got yourself in a mess, but it looks like you didn't go to far. tell her this

 

i understand you have a boyfriend be it long distance or not and my actions though we didn't have sex were completely out of line, and i crossed the boundaries. i totally respect you and don't mean to bring your relationship down. so i'm going to have to cut this short.....

 

i would keep a fair distance, no interactions unless you have to...

 

My choice was not to say anything and act like nothing happened.

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LilBear Enthusiast

LilBear

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Not so sure about that. That night she told me "we have a lot of sexual tension between us, but I have never had relationships with two guys".

 

Do you really want to be with a girl who has no qualms being in "relationships with two guys"? If she can cheat on him with you, she can cheat on you with someone else.

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shuttlefish Explorer

shuttlefish

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Be cool about what happened, let her know you are interested in more but don't want her to be a cheater. State these two facts unequivocally. Then get some distance between you two. Allow her to believe that you may just wander off and be with someone more available. Let her stew about that for awhile.

 

You have to let her make the choice between you two. Don't hold your breath...but hey...you never know.

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flow2000 Contributor

flow2000

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for I sometimes feel that when a relationship is in trouble, the person trying to get out of it clings onto whoever shows the first sign on interest in her to justify getting out of it, and then not really commit to the next relationship (rebound) anyway. Do you want to be her sounding board? Guess not.

 

Excellent point. I agree completely. I don't wanna be her sounding board. Till like last year, we were not even aware of each others existence. We met at a bar (totally random) and bonded over a game of pool at a bar. We flirted over text now and then but cared about relationships, past/present boyfriend/girlfriends and who was dating who.

This thing (whatever you call it) started recently (she moved into my neighborhood). So, she is like right there everyday.

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flow2000 Contributor

flow2000

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Be cool about what happened, let her know you are interested in more but don't want her to be a cheater. State these two facts unequivocally. Then get some distance between you two. Allow her to believe that you may just wander off and be with someone more available. Let her stew about that for awhile.

 

You have to let her make the choice between you two. Don't hold your breath...but hey...you never know.

 

 

That's exactly what I am doing. I haven't even contacted her since that night. There was a huge discomfort the next morning. Letting another guy sleep in her bed while she is dating someone else must have caused her some guilt. Not to mention, her guy called six times that night and she didn't answer. I heard them fighting over the phone next morning and pretended not to pay attention.

Gonna let her have her space and see what she does

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Doc Blaze Community Regular

Doc Blaze

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i think if you really like her and she likes you, she has to make a decision, or your digging yourslef in a big hole.your feelings will grow, but what will happen when her bf comes.are you going to be happy with just being the guy on the side?

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