Dont know what to do.......

[princess5]

HI everyone!! Sad today. In a LDR with my boyfriend, only get to see him at wknds... but he's doing an exam for his work which, granted is very hard. He works full time and has to study for it too. But lately he has been saying that he needs to study at wknds also. He can only give me a few hours on a Friday and then he tells me that he has to study all Sat and Sun and I generally go on Saturdays early. It makes me so sad and I cry like crazy going home but it's what he needs to do.

 

It's a national holiday here today and everyone celebrates like crazy cause no work today! I went up to see my friends in the city where he works yesterday and he said to me to call over to him when i was finished. I ended up fallign asleep on the bed and stayed with him. But when I woke up this morning , he tells me that he needs to study!! I couldn't believe it! He couldnt even take a few hours off on a national holiday to spend with me.

 

So i got upset and said to him that he didnt seem to have time for me anymore. I told him the distance was really hard for me and that I wasn;t sure if it was working. Was it ok to say that to him?

 

Question: Am I being unreasonable with him? All i wanted was a few hours with him but he couldn't give me even that much.

[sidehop]

Well, how important is this test? I'm sure he needs every little time to study otherwise. I can understand you being upset also but in general, do you two spend time together before he started studying?

[princess5]

Hi sidehop. Well the exam is pretty important , its for his work but theres no set date that he has to do it, he can do it whenever he feels ready.

 

Befor he started studyign all we had were weekends and now they're pretty much gone too.

 

i don't know if im being unreasonable here or not

[I_Speak_Jive]

It makes me so sad and I cry like crazy going home but it's what he needs to do.

 

If you are breaking into tears on your way home from seeing your boyfriend, you are way too obsessive and emotionally unstable to be in a relationship.

 

So i got upset and said to him that he didnt seem to have time for me anymore. I told him the distance was really hard for me and that I wasn;t sure if it was working. Was it ok to say that to him?

 

Yes, because it isn't working. You want far, far, far more than what he can possibly give you at this time. Some may argue that you want far, far, far more than what anyone can give.

 

Question: Am I being unreasonable with him? All i wanted was a few hours with him but he couldn't give me even that much.

 

All he wanted was a few weeks in which to focus on an extremely crucial exam, while making sure he still made some time for you when he could, but you couldn't give him even that much.

[FarthestEdge]

A few hours can mean the difference between grasping a topic on the exam, or not. If that topic is worth a significant portion of the final mark, then those hours can mean the difference between pass or fail.

 

Do you want him to fail just to spend a few hours with you? Is it worth it? Is that reasonable?

 

How important will those few hours be, a month, week, year from now?

How important will passing that exam be in the same timeframes?

 

You want him to pass so he doesn't have to do it again.

[Sanesoul]

I think you need to relax a bit and let him have his time to do what he needs to do. It's not fair to him to put your insecurities on him while he's doing this.

 

It will pass, just be patient and keep yourself occupied.

[princess5]

Hex was right.... he said i'd f*ck it up and i think i just did

[Cognitive_Canine]

Honestly, I've been extremely busy yet I still find time for my partner. I'm long distance too. If he gets too busy to even talk for an hour here or there often, I'd talk to him about changing his ways.

[hexaemeron]

8-10-2009

I really dont know what to do about this, I'm driving myself nuts with the paranoia, and desperately need advice. He constantly reassures me that he is totally in love with me and wants no other.

 

9-07-2009

I had to go home and he went out with two of his friends and her and some of her friends. Now i dont know if anything happened with him, but it bothered me that he went out with her. He rang me to tell me he was going out for a few drinks and also rang me when he got home and said that her and her friends were still out partying but him and his friend came home early. Am i being overly paranoid?

 

9-10-2009

So , I'm so used to my boyfriend instant messaging me at work when we're both online, he has done so every day since we met. But today for the first time.. nothing. When we were talking on teh phone last night he said that work was absolutely manic the last few days or so.... i feel a little bit sad though. Am i reading into things too much again, or could this be a suble sign he is losing interest?

 

9-17-2009

My boyfriend lives with 4 single girls, there is one in particular I have issues with, ie if he has feelings for her and vice versa.... i only see him at weekends.... but everything is perfect when we are together but just hate the fact that he spends the week with her and not me... even though he hasn't really given me any real reason to believe that he might like her.

 

I have decided that I want to know if he likes her for once and for all and think I'm gonna ask him tongiht.. can anyone give me any opinions on whether this is the right thing to do? will it ruin the trust in the relationship?

 

9-23-2009

So my boyfriends mother has been sick for a while and a few days ago she found a lump so they're having tests done to see if its cancerous or not... my boyfriend needless to say is stressed out etc and I'm not hearing from him much, he just gives me a quick call very late at night to let me know how he is, and a very brief email during the day (if at all). When I spoke to him last night he didn't aplogise for ringing so late. I asked him what he got up to for the evening and he said he had one of his male friends over at the house and then he was on the phone to his sister also. I hate that he's going through all this worry and not sharing it with me. In fact he is probably talking about it to the girl in the house.

 

10-5-2009

So my boyfriend and I went out for dinner to celebrate our 6 month anniversary and we were having a really intimate conversation about how we felt about each other etc. I asked him if he ever had any doubts or reservations about us and he said there were a couple of little things that made him 'question' us but they were soon forgotten. I asked him what type of things made him feel this way and he just said little mannerisms of mine but now "he loves them". I got really upset when he told me this, I don't know if I was over-reacting or whether he actually has doubts about me and him...

 

10-15-2009

They all went for dinner last night to celebrate one of the girls birthdays. Was emailing him yesterday and he was telling me how much he was looking forward to it... Heard nothing from him all evening until midnight when he got home. He told me they had an absolutely beautiful evening and the company was amazing (he had a bit of wine taken obviously). He told me that two of the flatmates went home early leaving just him and the other 3 girls who went on to a bar after for about an hour or so and had a great time.

 

Is this ok? Is it ok for him to not contact me all evening while out with his roommates? He was very nice to me on the phone when he got back home, he was saying how much he wanted to take me to this restaurant, that the food was amazing etc.

 

10-19-2009

My boyfriend of 6 months told me he is taking the day off Friday to go for birthday drinks with his flatmate (single girl) on Thursday night.. as she is leaving the country to go travelling for a while and it is her birthday Saturday. They are good friends. he didnt say if anyone else was going for definite.. but then he asked me to take the day off on Friday also to go out with them... (i live 3 hours away)

 

Would you be okay with this?

 

10-28-2009

Just want some general opinions guys....... what are the signs that your SO really loves you and sees you in their future? i.e. that you're not just something to pass their time?

 

11-10-2009

How do you keep you man interested and make him fall in love even more? I know its a silly question but just thought I'd put it out there!!

 

11-20-2009

Hi guys, I seem to be around here a lot lately!! In a 7 month relationship with my boyfriend, we were hanging out last night and it got really intense with us, and so did the conversation, it was one of those I love so so much conversations. Well he was talking about in the future we'll get our own little place, and I went on to say "I'll never love another man again, this is it". Looking back i realise it could have scared him away. And he said "Don't say stuff like that, cos if anything were to happen, i wouldn't want you to be really sad".. but then he said I feeel the same way, it's totally mutual.

 

What should I take from this?

 

12-03-2009

Last night, himself and his 4 flatmates ( 3 girls) put up their Christmas decorations in their house. He said they had a great laugh putting them up! He told me earlier in the week that he would wait until Friday to put them up so I could help too. (I haven't seen him in two weeks) But they didn't. I really just want to be a part of his life more. I live 3 hours away from him due to work committments.

 

Dunno why it hurts, I know he did nothing wrong, bit it really does.

 

12-18-2009

Just back from a beautiful weeks long holiday with my boyfriend which was so nice and so good for us to get away. I thought we sorted out a lot of things and we seem really strong now.

 

HOwever when i got back, his flatmate whom I am suspicious of had left a comment for him on facebook saying that his other flatemate was really missing him, but it was phrased in such a way that she was replying to something he had sent her. So I'm guessing he emailed her while we were on holidays.

 

Would this bother you? I thought we were getting on so god, i dont see why he felt the need to contact her while we were away.

 

1-12-2010

Can u tell how much ur SO loves you by their gifts ?? Thanks

 

1-20-2010

So we were all on a might out last weekend and this particular girl had a guy with her... I was trying to gauge my boyfriends reaction to seeing her with someone else and he continued to be in great form.. Laughing, dancing and even chatting to her new guy. He was also being really affectionate with me. One thing that I did notice however was that he did give an occasional glance in their direction while they were talking.

 

Is this good guys? I was thinking if he felt anything for her I would have noticed a downturn in his mood??

 

1-28-2010

Hi everyone.. My bf lives with 4 girls.. There's one of them I used to be wary of. Anyway she found out yestrday she got accepted to a course abroad and is going away in september. My bf was telling me all this on the phone last night.. He sounded sad .. His words were "yeah it's good she got accepted cause it's something she always wanted but it also means she has to leave and that makes me a bit sad". What am I to take from this?

 

Ps I should Add that the couple who live in he house got engaged And will be emigrating around September time also. So he said he was sad that the dynamics of the house would be so different. Any thoughts guys?

 

2-10-2010

My bf gave me his old Phone cos he was upgrading. He didn't delete all of his texts before he gave it to me and I just saw one from his sister and I was deleting them. It said "I'm confused as to why you have X holiday skin lotion with your stuff...I don't think I know you at all". I think she was dropping off some of his belongings to him at his house. Now I've never used this brand of lotion ever so I dunno why it would be amongst his stuff. He lives with 4 girls in the city where he works. Should I bring this up with him or just let it go??

 

2-28-2010

Hi everyone, this is quite embarrassing. Was fooling around with my bf dnd he looked at me funny and said haha you have a little hair under your lip!! Which I quickly realised to my horror was true. I usually pluck random hairs and just missed that one for some reason .

 

Would that turn him off me? I'm afraid he might think I'm weird or don't look after my appearance. I'm so embarrassed right now.

 

3-02-2010

Hi all. Getting on great with my bf recently thank god! He went to another state yesterday to do a training course for two days for his job. He told me he'd let me know he was okay but never did but instead he posted an update on fb saying how hungover he was from the night before!!! Do they all went out drinking last night. I never heard a thing from him all day and had to text to ask him was he okay. Over reacting yet again or justified in feing a bit angry??

 

3-07-2010

So... My bf and I are in a long distancer ... Due to work can't see each other during the week. I used to count down the seconds to the wknd when I would finally see him. But now we don't even have the weekends. He has to study for a really big exam which is on in a months time and also has to train for a run which is on in 2 weeks. On top of that he has to go home and wknds to help with d family business as his mam is really sick and his dad recently had an operation.

 

Like I dunno what to do.... I don't want to be another burden on him as he has so much on but I crave his company so much that I just feel like crying. This wknd I saw him for a few hours... I drove up to see him in the city where he works fri night but he had to go home at 2 the next day, so that's it for another week. Next week will be the same story I expect.

 

What should I do?? He told me to bear with him , that he loves me so much and doesn't want to ever let me go and promised things will get better soon. But I dunno, I feel like he's gonna slip away from me.... He simply doesn't have tome for me right now.