What do you do after??

[getbiii]

so i have found many posts that helped me get thru my ex girlfriends rebound relationship, and she has now dumped him. she said because she noticed that he is not what she wants and that she still loves me and wants to be with me again.

(everything the rebound theory says )

 

but i can't find anyposts about what you do after a rebound...

 

so what do you do to get your ex back after the rebound ended??

 

i have been nice to her, we have been going out and trying not to bring up any negative memories or thoughts.

but is this the right way to go? should i let her chase me and play hard to get?

 

whats the best way to go?

 

i don't want to mess things up and just have her back for some time just to lose her again.

[mrckc]

Hi getbii,

 

I guess the best thing for you to do is not rush into things first...I guess, it's the right time for the both of you to spend time getting to know each other again...just to make sure that you both want to be back together again....I hope this could help

[Kashmir4321]

It sounds like you already have her back? I'd say start rebuilding your relationship slowly, make sure the factors that caused the breakup are addressed before they resurface. Be open and communicate well with each other, and try not to let any residual hurt from the break up affect your new relationship. Pretty much don't immediately jump back into your old comfortable ways, or you'll likely end up breaking up eventually again. Congratulations on your second chance!

[getbiii]

thank you, but i feel im not there yet. i am really iffy on the subject, i do love her and want her back and she says the same but her rebound is really obsessed with her, they have only known each other for a little over a month and dated for a month. he moved in with her neighbor just to be with her more time and although i believe her that she did break up with him, her face book still says they are in a relationship.

(she told me herself he is obssesed with her)

 

so i don't know how this will afect us, i know if i ever say something about him i will probabl tell her that she can be friends with who ever she wants and she can see him because even if a dont like it, it will happen. i should just trust her.

[mrckc]

yeah that's right...but don't forget ur limits, what u can and cannot do for her..jsut avoid her abusing ur kindness.... the 'in a relationship" part is kinda dodgey..but yeah i guess just take it one step at a time.... =) goodluck getbii

[GunSlinger]

if her rebound is obsessed with her, it only helps you. it makes him come accross as needy and desperate and girls hate that. Good luck man, I hope you get her back

[getbiii]

so now i have a bigger problem, it seems she was depressed ever since we broke up and never healed. she left for the hospital today... seems like mr rebound followed her to my house today and saw her car here, he sent me a text saying "shes all yours" she then left i guess to talk to him because she too recieved a text but didnt leave imediatley,

she then texted me sayin dont text me again or call this number im giving ***** his phone back, talk to you later.. we had made plans for the afternoon and then she called me from the hospital, she crashed in depression. she told me she wasn't going to be able to see me... i dont know what happened with that guy but her parents are now blameing me for her depression but i honestly dont think i caused it, she broke up with me and left me for someone else, her mom asked me to not talk to her or call her that if i lover her i would leave her alone.... =S that really hurt to hear but i don't know why that would happen and now im lost...

 

 

should i lose hope?

[lilyofthemount]

so i have found many posts that helped me get thru my ex girlfriends rebound relationship, and she has now dumped him. she said because she noticed that he is not what she wants and that she still loves me and wants to be with me again.

(everything the rebound theory says )

 

but i can't find anyposts about what you do after a rebound...

 

so what do you do to get your ex back after the rebound ended??

 

i have been nice to her, we have been going out and trying not to bring up any negative memories or thoughts.

but is this the right way to go? should i let her chase me and play hard to get?

 

whats the best way to go?

 

i don't want to mess things up and just have her back for some time just to lose her again.

I am a newbie here and i dont know exactly how to post my problem.. so i just click reply to to this...

Few weeks ago (actually almost a month) after valentines i broke off with my boyfriend out of hurt and neglect...to make the story short i initiated the break up.. we get along very well together and (click in many ways )except the last few week prior to my breaking up with him i noticed few thing that make me insecure of his commitment and loyalty..( i will discuss later about those things)

The problem i am facing right now is that he sent me a good bye later saying he is releasing me my freedom ..i replied to him saying i felt good to that but i dont want to lost him totally...i am willing to start again from scratch and was asking him indirectly to restart our relationship without considering each other as boyfriend and girlfriend..and go back to where whe started...he never replied to that ( which is unusual for him because he is the type that would reply quick) i waited a week with no reply then i sent the ultimatum...I told him in my letter..

Dear nate

Today as i am going thru my emaisl i realised that you have chosen not to say or reply to my email. I took that as a closure to "us" although we have agreed that we say goodbye to our relationship two weeks ago ..is that mean goodbye also in person?

 

I realised i humiliated myself by asking you a second chance to go back and try again...i guess i just dont want to lose you not realising your feelings that you want me totally out of your life since you chose to cut communication with me.This past few days something made me realised i have been trying to hold you against your will and didnt realise the pressure you are going thru and now i felt bad knowing i added burden on your shoulders. before i said my goodbye i want you to know that i had loved you with all my heart and i had been honest and true and loyal thru out our relationship. before i say goodbye I want you to know i will never regret knowing and loving you and i can say that If i will ever look back to our moments togetherI can honestly smile and say.. i am glad i was given a chance and oppurtunity to loved you and that once in my life there was a guy that came and loved me. I am not going to pretend that it will be easy for me for you have been a big part of my daily life but i have to let you go..it is hard but i see it is also both liberating for me and you.

So I gues this is it.. Goodbye.

I wish you all the best and pray you find what your looking for.

 

And here is his quick reply...

 

Thank you for understanding me, me not replying to you is to give you space and clarity for you so as for you letting go and you need to..it is in your interest in your healing too. I just literally ask for space from you gripping me so tight and clinging me that i felt so pressured...if i had not that space i may have done something disrespectful to you/us. I never done anything to disrespect you/us in our relationship . but I do acknowledge that i have needs and desires and those need and desires have not been met. A lot of changes happening regarding my focus and goals...and i am learning a lot about myself..about commitment..relationships and rebounds..gale is not part of this as you have predicted or think it is/was..there is nothing between her and me . although you have no need to know about this.

 

There are things happen that scared me from you. I dont blame you from anything else. it is just that our timing is wrong.

I am not the right man for you at this present and posibly not in the future as i had said things are changing and i am seeing myself stuck in this situation for maybe longer than i have told you ( im afraid i have to stay for a year) and with that.. things could change or happen. I release you to find your dreams and hopes.. your are a wonderful woman and deserve to be happy. I never regret knowing and loving you, you are a sweet girl and it was pleasure having you in my life even for a brief while.

 

Mat.

 

Now my question here is this means lost him forever...what is going inside him.. did i lost his devotion and interest. How could he just suddenly turn his back.. (I broke up with him twice and he came pleading for us to stay...with tears..) actually a night before he send me a goodbye letter prior to his last emai..he call me at the midle of the night trying to sort out things but iwas still angry and he was asking me to stay freinds and i told him i cant be just a buddy buddy to you.. i cant be freinds... its eithier we work out this or not.i told him its unfair that i hold my life for him while he go and seek and find his way and growth.. he always seem to wiggle from his feelings..but whenever i tried to back out he came running after me...and assured he is truelly into me.. i just need to be patient...but suddenly there comes this girl and thats the start of him getting confused ..(i will discuss this later)

(ohh by the way we are in a long distance relatinship)

I havent talked to him for a week now and there were times i am so tempted to call or send him im or ym him but i did not. I guess i want him back thats why i am here writing this post. I would appreciate any input or advice from the male and female point of view and how you analize our letters.. i am glad i find this website coz i was tempted to buy that ebook about making up.. when i read about the forum here it encourage me a lot and is so glad i dont need to spend a penny for my broken heart. hope to hear from everhybody here. thanks

[coolchick64]

Holy Cow. What a turn of events. It's hard to say what's going on and I wouldn't conclude anything at this point. I think it's heartless of her family to shut you down like that, without giving you more information, but all you can do is get through the next few days and see what happens. I'll be surprised if you don't hear from her when things calm down.

[getbiii]

she called me today, her parents locked her in an asylum, they really don't know whats best for her. she says she only gets a 15 minute recess and her parents visit her so i can't see her, i asked her how long she was going to be there, she said she didn't know... she told me she doesnt want to go back home. im willing to take her away, not only because i love her but because i wanna help her. the phone call ended before we could say goodbye, i promised her she would be better and i told her she could call me when ever and that if she ever needed anything i am here for her, i hope to hear from her soon...

 

this tells me she does love me and isn't mad at me or anything, she chose to call me becaue she wanted =)

 

i just hope this ends soon

[Tired Tiger]

...her parents locked her in an asylum...

 

Um... what?

 

What is this, 1950?

 

Did you mean that her parents, with the diagnosis and recommendation of a Psychiatrist, had her admitted in-patient? People (especially parents) don't just lock others up (especially their own children) for spite, and certainly can't do so without the assistance of a licensed professional. There's apparently a serious problem with her that your whisking her away like a knight in shining armor isn't going to address.

 

What's next... a lobotomy?

[Doc Blaze]

can they even lock her up..but sounds like she needs some help before getting into any kind of relationship...rescuing her and taking her away wont help it.

[getbiii]

i know i know, sorry this came out wrong, i just talked to her again.

what i mean is that she told me she wants to leave but doesnt want to go home,

and when she does come out i am wiling to accept her, and move in with her.

 

and no it isn't the 1950's...