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Feeling jaded more than anything these days.


hannah_k

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I've been with my guy for about a year and a half now. I love him a whole hell of a lot. And I would do just about anything for him. And I know he feels the same way.

 

But for the past few months or more, I feel that familiar fizzling of the spark we used to have in the beginning. And the truth is, it's probably been very gradual. But I feel like I'm just now starting to feel its effects like a bag of bricks to my face.

 

For one, and I've posted about this before, he just doesn't seem as excited about sex. People have told me to try new things, but I do. I make suggestions and I've already pledge to fulfill fantasies when the opportunity comes along. I've been down for pretty much everything he's asked for. But despite that fact, I still feel like I'm the one craving more. I don't know what else I could do to make him want it more.

 

And we sit at home a lot. Home dates used to be really sweet when we were getting to know each other. But now, I feel like it's a default. I've suggested joining running groups. And I've asked him if he'd like to workout with me. But he never seems interested when the time comes around to do those things.

 

He surprised me with a weekend on the beach in a really nice resort on Valentine's Day. But, once we got there, it felt like everything was kind of forced. We had a nice dinner and walked on the beach that night. But it didn't feel as romantic as something like that should have been. It still felt like that "What do you wanna do?" "I dunno what do you wanna do?" mentality. He's constantly asking what I want to do but never really seems as enthusiastic about it as he used to. I feel he does it because he thinks it's what I want. And in a way it is, but I want him to want it too.

 

More and more lately, I can feel him get irritated with me more and more. Granted, I can be pick-headed and defensive. But even about stupid things, like not turning the TV down enough if he goes to bed before I do.

 

He's 8 years older than I am. I'm almost done with college and will be starting my career this year while he has already started his. His goals have turned to saving, buying a home, and building a future. And that's great, but at times, I feel like our relationship has taken second place on the list of priorities. It doesn't have to be that hard, though.

 

I just want to get a puppy, or take a walk through the park once or twice a week. I want to get a pair of rollerblades and have fun.

 

Maybe that's the key, though. Maybe I should stop waiting for him to feel the way I want him to and just start focusing on making myself happy.

 

Maybe I'll go rollerblading by myself and start masturbating more often. Maybe it'll rub off on him? But if it doesn't, what do I do? I've tried to talk about it, but it never comes out right.

 

I don't know. I just know it doesn't feel right.

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Maybe that's the key, though. Maybe I should stop waiting for him to feel the way I want him to and just start focusing on making myself happy.

 

Yes, focus on yourself, if you did what you can but neglecting yourself no one will be happy.

 

How often are you two away from each other? Do you give yourself enough space? You have to let him be the hunter as well, he's a guy, men like to hunt. You sound pretty energetic and outgoing, let him be, go out, dress up nice and perhaps it'll spark his interest.

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  • 1 month later...

We actually live together. Sorry, I haven't been on the board in a few months.

 

I feel like we've gotten to the point where we feel like we have to ask each other to do things. I don't want that. I think we need to spend more time apart, but I don't know how to bring that up without sounding like I'm asking for a break or something. How do I start spending more time away from him without him thinking I'm trying to escape him or something?

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I had a boyfriend who i lived with and i know what you are going through. I recommend doing your own thing. Be at home less in the evening time, visit friends, have coffees, go out for walks , eventually he will want you to be there more often and may even offer to bring you out or you guys go out together sometime.

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