Why do they call when they are with someone else?

[RunCheetahRun]

Does anyone have any insight as to why exes call you when they have already moved on and found someone else?

 

Mine left me for someone and tried contacting me for weeks and months after he left me. At the time of the break up there was no mention of continuing a friendship.....just a good bye.

 

Do you think it was guilt? Wanting to be friends? We work for the same company and I'm not sure how to act around him as I don't know what he wants.... I know the obvious answer would be to just talk to him but the whole thing is still a little too raw for me to do that without any clue as to what he is up to.

 

Just curious and would appreciate any insight/personal experiences.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Often they do that because they like to make sure the ex is still pining for them..it is an ego boost. Also, often they are not entirely happy with their choice...life is not as grand and glorious as they thought it would be with the new person, so they want to keep the ex around to fulfill that need. Basically any contact from a dumper who has moved on to another person very quickly is contact done for their own selfish purposes. I would just ignore him.

[sidehop]

^^I agree. He's only keeping you on a string. Don't be that second person, ignore him the best way possible.

[uhohlala]

I agree, it's selfish and ego-driven. And if he is having second thoughts about his decision, knowing that you're still receptive to overtures from him will simply allow him to feel more confident about leaving you, since he'll be confident that he could get you back if he wanted.

[fLuiD]

I think too many dumpees give their exes the benefit of the doubt and too much credit to where they believe contact from an ex who has moved on is for reconciliation. Empty hopes.

[guynextdoor]

I know my ex kept in contact with me to rub it in my face she found a new man. Mature right?

[mgirl]

I know my ex kept in contact with me to rub it in my face she found a new man. Mature right?

 

That is so not mature!

 

Usually, they'll call because (as CrazyAboutDogs suggested), the grass is not always greener over the other side, to hold on to some security, it is familiar, or there are desirable qualities that you have, that the new person does not.

 

Don't get excited, it doesn't mean they want to get back with you. It's usually because it's familiar and 'safe'.