This is where I'm at now

[jkepler85]

Cliffs:

GF of 3 yrs dumped me. Went intermittent time with NC for 3-4 months.

About a month ago, I gave it a last ditch effort. I'll spare the details. I told her I only wanted to hear from her if she wanted to think about a relationship again. She said I probably wouldn't hear from her then. She started casually seeing a guy 8 yrs her senior. That's all I know. I've been NC for the last month.

 

I've spent my time with friends, working out, reading, dancing, and apparently I've inadvertently become a pickup artist. I'm currently seeing 17 girls. It pretty much occupies all the time I'm not at work. I really don't even think about it, it just happens. At school, at the grocery store, the theater, the club. I have never been what you call a ladies man, but something is different now.

 

It was my ex's birthday yesterday and I didn't contact her and intentionally made sure I had a date. Today I was watching "Up in the Air" and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm seeing these girls and I have a lot of fun with them, but none of them are there the way my ex was. I'm just profoundly sad right now and I miss what we had immensely.

[Hobbes]

I am sure you miss her, only normal after 3 years and I'll bet she was seemingly a good match and a great girl (for you to feel like this now) but dayum your story is pretty impressive. Keep up the NC and the excellence. You never know what will happen. You are not moping (publicly) and getting on with it. Thumbs up from me. You are putting yourself into a very good position.

[jettison]

You are "seeing 17 girls"? How does one do that exactly? Do you mean like, "I'm sleeping with 17 girls." "I saw 17 women on the street yesterday." "17 women smiled at me." It's hard to comprehend this number.

 

Personally, I was once seeing 3 women at a time, and I felt like the Mad Hatter on acid. No bearings, which way is up? Now 1 woman seems like a handful. 17?

 

In any case, sorry you're feeling blue about the ex. 3 or 4 months is almost always too short. Is the fact that you're that overtly flirtatious with women, and so naturally, perhaps part of the problem with your ex? Women can sense stuff like that, and they are likely not to trust you, and therefore not open up to you, and therefore not want to be with you. May be worth investigating.

[HeartGoesOn]

17 girls??

 

That's a lot of names to remember...busy man, I guess!

[jkepler85]

Seeing as in I've been on more than one date with each girl and talk to them at least every other day. I sometimes have to schedule a date over lunch and another for dinner just to fit everyone in. I'm not sleeping with all of them. And yes they know I'm seeing other girls. I'm dating girls that are more attractive than my ex but none so far have shown all the things that I really loved in my ex. No I wasn't flirtatious when I was with my ex, it's just something that's happened.

[HeartGoesOn]

Seeing as in I've been on more than one date with each girl and talk to them at least every other day. I sometimes have to schedule a date over lunch and another for dinner just to fit everyone in. I'm not sleeping with all of them. And yes they know I'm seeing other girls. I'm dating girls that are more attractive than my ex but none so far have shown all the things that I really loved in my ex. No I wasn't flirtatious when I was with my ex, it's just something that's happened.

 

You must have a good job.

[mirrorman]

I've spent my time with friends, working out, reading, dancing, and apparently I've inadvertently become a pickup artist. I'm currently seeing 17 girls. It pretty much occupies all the time I'm not at work. I really don't even think about it, it just happens. At school, at the grocery store, the theater, the club. I have never been what you call a ladies man, but something is different now.

 

Whatever vitamins you're taking, I want some of 'em! Seriously, there are single men who regularly pay thousands of dollars to charlatans like (insert name of this week's seduction expert here) to be able to do what you're apparently doing naturally! Do you suppose you've experienced a surge of newfound self-confidence? Are you responding to your situation as a lot of people in your situation might, but with more success (FWIW, I've found myself feeling rather, um, desirous following a breakup)? Have you gotten over your ex already (which isn't impossible?) In any case, getting out and being with friends, htting the gym, etc. is definitely a good thing.

 

And I definitely hear you about your ex. Fine as the other women you're dating might be, they ain't her. There's probably a lot to be said for the familiar warnings about rebounding.

[jettison]

You must have a good job.

 

Yeah, no kidding. Lunch and dinner out with 17 dates? Do you work? How are you going to lunch and dinner every day? And if you don't work, how do you pay for all of the dates? And if you are independently wealthy, how do you have time to do anything else at all? What about friends? Hobbies?

 

This "I'm dating 17 women" thing sounds like a figure of speech to me, I'm sorry to say.

[Blackey]

Yeh lol, the same thing happens to me too, i've never been like that, but now i just feel the need to pick up as many girls as i can.... I do have fun with them...but non of them is my ex...but u know what, it gives u some confidence boost, right now your ego is pretty low, so u need the boost.

Enjoy the experience my friend, you deserve it.