I don't know where to go from here...

[lockdown91]

So, I have a class with this cute guy this semester. For the past month or so in class, I've been eyeing him, and I thought I noticed him eye me too. Finally last week I decided to catch up with him after class, and ask if he wanted to study together for our upcoming midterm, and he gave me his number. That night, he found me on facebook and added me, then proceeded to talk to me for the next six hours on facebook chat. He never let the conversation lag,, though he easily could have. And we ended up on the topic of relationships. He told me he was in a dead-end relationship with someone who lives in a different country, and she doesn't want to move, but he doesn't want to move away from his family either. So, they're about 7 or 8 hours apart when he's home, and 2 hours when he's at the school we go to. He feels distant from her and he says it's just awkward when they're together because it feels more as if they're friends, and they barely talk or see each other anymore. Then he asked about my ex and tried to point out how he was different. We joked around with each other, I felt really comfortable with him. The next day he texted me and asked if I wanted to get together with him and do our homework, which took all of 10 minutes, but we hung out for an hour or so. He was making references to things I had posted on my facebook, and asked questions about me. He told me I was pretty and admitted to checking me out during class...it seems like he's interested. He even asked me to start sitting with him in class, and when I do, he always makes sure to joke around with me, and wait for me after class and we walk together until we part ways to go to our different buildings. Thursday he had to go get his girlfriend and bring her home with him for spring break I guess, so I haven't talked to him since then. But before he left he told me how things would get easier after he graduates in May and can move home and not be with her anymore...he says the situation is making him really unhappy, although he does care about her, and he doesn't want to hurt her. I asked him if he wanted to get together this coming Sunday when we get back from break to study for our midterm Monday and watch one of our favorite shows together, since there's a marathon, and he told me it was a sick idea, but he wasn't sure when he was going to be back yet.

 

So, I'm not sure if or how much I should try to talk to him this week. And also, I really want to try to start something between us before he graduates. I would have no problem moving closer to him if I needed to, since I plan on transferring colleges anyway and I have a couple years left. He's sort of hinted at me transferring near him as well....so I was wondering if anyone had any input/advice?

[wolfwithin]

Go for it. Tell him it is better to break up with the girl he will break up with eventually anyway and go with you. I did that with my girlfriend and it will be 3 years soon that we have been going out. If you think there is something between you two then go for it. If he says he wants to wait just tell him that if he waits to long then who knows maybe someone else will see what a good thing they are missing out on.

 

Also talk to him as much as you can while the soon to be ex girlfriend is down. Don't let them get to comfy again. Make sure to talk to him at least once a day. Text him funny things that you think he will like. Don't let her rekindle things. The second they do then he will become distant and all together leave. I have had plenty of girls do it to me and plenty of friends do it to girls. What ever you do don't let him stop thinking about you even for one day.

[lockdown91]

Really? I've mentioned to him in not as many words you know, try to make yourself happy, why be in a relationship with someone when you aren't happy? But I'm afraid to be too bold and push him away by telling him what to do.

 

And how do I know when to back off? I was hoping he would try to contact me the past few days....and I know he doesn't get to see his sister often and she was trying to go home to see him, they're really close as well....so it won't seem too clingy or obsessive to text him everyday?

[wolfwithin]

If he is with the girlfriend then by all means make sure he remembers you. But with his sister don't push too much but make sure you ask if about how his sister is and be friendly on that part. I would have loved it if a girl would have been bold around me. Just if you feel he is getting annoyed then back off for sure. Don't be rude about it by any means but don't let him lead you on either where you miss something else if it comes around. Sounds almost the same as with what happened with my girlfriend when we first met.

 

She had a boyfriend who was around every now and then. They didn't have a lot in common and it was really on the way out. I kept saying hey why stay with him when I am more fun. Why stay with him when I am here for you always. And when that didn't work I just told her that if she doesn't hurry I have other girls who would be more than happy to go out with me. I am sure there are other guys around you that like you maybe talk with them a bit if he doesn't break it off with her soon. Make him feel like you won't be there when he decides to finally break it off.

 

I never took in a relationship, if it wasn't working, as an excuse to back off. I normally helped things along in subtle ways. Like always being around. Plus it sounds like he really likes you. So tell him that you won't wait around forever for him to break things off with the other girl and that if he wants you the time is now. If you are willing to move closer for him that is a huge thing that if he passes up then you are better off with out him.

 

Also he may be like me and not get the subtle hints you give him at all. I know so many times the hints just passed right over my head even the not so subtle ones.

[lockdown91]

Thanks! Yeah I just texted him and we're talking a little bit. I just told him that we got some stuff on the homework we did together wrong and i let him take it from there, and when i didn't respond to his text, he made sure to keep the conversation moving by asking how my break was So I feel like he does want to talk to me, which is awesome! I hope I can end up with the same result you did, thank you so much for your help!!

[wolfwithin]

Glad I could help. I really hope it works out for you. Good Luck!!!