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should i send this?


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should i send it to her?

 

you don't have to respond after this "i come in peace" i'll be outta your hair after i say this "look i love you and i know i can be stubborn and annoying my disorder is part of it and that i still just care about you alot and i'm sorry for causing a commotion it was unjust and not like me to do and i apoglize for my immartuity and i believe we do need space and as much as i value our friendship as well, friendship is a bad idea for now as i still i love you so much and that's never going go away but i do want you to be happy because i realize now if you love someone you have let them go sometimes and if it's makes u happy i'll be outta your hair too... i just want you to be happy and to see you smile if i ever see you again because it gives a indirect joy to see you smile as your great person and i know now of my stupid-babyish actions...... so yea see you if times are coolious ^.^

take care- danny

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I don't know, I think it would be ok to send as long as you are doing it for you as a from of closure and not trying to get a reaction. But here I put some puncuation in there/added some words for you lol, sorry couldn't help myself!

 

You don't have to respond after this, "i come in peace". I'll be outta your hair after i say this: "look i love you, and I know I can be stubborn and annoying. My disorder is part of it and I still just care about you a lot and i'm sorry for causing a commotion. It was unjust and not like me to do and i apoglize for my immartuity. I believe we do need space and as much as I value our friendship I think friendship is a bad idea for now as I still love you so much and that's never going to go away. I do want you to be happy because I realize now if you love someone you have to let them go sometimes, and if it makes u happy i'll be outta your hair too... I just want you to be happy and to see you smile if i ever see you again because it gives an indirect joy to see you smile as you're a great person and i know now of my stupid-babyish actions...... so yea see you if times are coolious ^.^

take care- danny

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If you want your ex back I have read it is okay to apologize before going NC. You should make it more brief though. If I were writing it I would write it like this....

 

"I just wanted to apologize for causing a commotion during the break up. Now that I am calm and can think clearly I can agree I believe we do need space. However I do value our friendship and maybe in the future we can try to be friends. For now I would like space as well."

 

take care- danny

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thank you lol

 

i wrote this as closure

 

then yes I think it is fine to send. And it shows that you are owning up to your part or role in what went wrong as well. Either that or the shorter version TOF reccommended would be fine.

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Sorry, just noticed that you posted this in getting back together. I think it is good to send as a closure thing, but I don't want you to get your hopes up that sending a short note will have her wanting to get back together.

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If you are sending at as closure and plan on not sending anything later and expect nothing in return than do so if it will make YOU feel better.

 

Having said that, if you feel you want that person back and expect a response, than realize they might just ignore/delete it and how are you going to feel after not getting a response?

 

I've been there. I've written the letters, emails, messages, asked questions. Some for closure, some because I wanted a response back and some because I wanted a sign that he cared. Many times I even told myself ' I don't care if he responds". But believe me, not getting a response back can hurt. A lot.

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your ex already knows you and knows why its not working. give it a week then write her. you should calm down first and somehow tell yourself that you and this person can't be together now. then when you're calm approach the situation. cuz if she doesn't respond it might hurt you more...she might not respond because this might be the epitome of your breakup. this about how a calm, cool, self confident you would respond.

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If you want to get back together with someone, this is exactly the opposite of what I would suggest sending.

 

Exactly.

 

We all try this 'last ditch effort' saying "Hey, I am leaving. We broke up, I tried but I give up and maybe we can try to be friends". Believe me, 3/4 of the people in the Getting back together forum has tried this ... myself included. It does not work.

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what would you guys reccommend sending?

 

If you've already sent the message, then you don't need to send another word. You've said what you wanted to say, and so you get to wind down and relax now.

 

The only reason you wouldn't feel more relaxed now is if your message was designed to manipulate rather than let go.

 

If that's the case, you'll pretzel yourself for days or weeks awaiting a response--but you already told her that a response isn't necessary. That was a good thing to say, and it means you get to unwind now and leave her alone.

 

If you're unable to unwind and let go now, you're learning the reason WHY some folks advised you not to send the message. There's a difference between 'closure' and manipulation. You get to pick the purpose of your message.

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I don't know, I think it would be ok to send as long as you are doing it for you as a from of closure and not trying to get a reaction.

 

I feel that there is no such thing as "closure". there is only contact and more contact littered with bits of hope. I have never wanted closure without hoping that the other person's behavior would change.

 

I'm skipping posts so I hope I dont double up comments. but I dont think you should send it. At least not in the language it is in. Its too " Please don't be mad but...". Even if you are in the wrong or on your way out I don't feel like you should plead with her. True closure ( its like saying the REAL easter bunny ...) you say your piece, clearly and cleanly with none of the "hopefully in the future"...and I"ll be out of your hair once I say this bit.

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