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How should an awkward guy go about getting a girlfriend?


dog stevens

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So I've discovered that I'm never going to lose my awkwardness. What are some good ways that an awkward guy can find a girlfriend? I've tried bars and parties multiple times and that doesn't work. I've tried online dating multiple times and that didn't work. I'm not that picky about girl's looks, my only rule is that she can't be obese.

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What exactly do you mean by awkward?

 

Join a club or something that you are interested in. Try link removed. (its a website to join clubs/groups in your community). Make it a point to talk to people, anyone. Don't just talk to people because they look like young single girls. Make friends with different people, - you never know who might have a daughter/sister/niece they could set you up with.

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The older you get, the less awkward you'll feel; however, in the meantime, I would just try to be funny with new girls. Girls like funny guys.

 

I'd agree about the older thing. I'm definitely way less awkward than I was 10 years ago. I can work on being funny, but I'm usually a painfully unfunny person.

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I'd agree about the older thing. I'm definitely way less awkward than I was 10 years ago. I can work on being funny, but I'm usually a painfully unfunny person.

 

It is your awareness of your awkwardness that is slowing you down. Just don't care so much about how you come accross. You have nothing to lose, right?

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I just don't find them attractive. And I don't feel shallow for disliking them. Lots of girls have told me I'm too tall, if other girls can say I'm too tall than I can say that I don't like obese girls.

They can also perceive you to be too awkward and get turned off by that. There's lots of chubby girls with great and loving personalities out there. I don't agree with your logic, it's like saying if you got robbed, it gives you the right to rob other people who have done you no wrong. There's no reason to ever be shallow over 1 thing, people offer way more and IMO the whole picture should be considered, and just because you're bitter about some girls being picky. There's selectivity (which I agree with) and there's prejudice.

 

Also, the fact that you're awkward isn't hopeless. For example, I've yet to hear of a person be awkward after they take adderall or something. Now, I'm not condoning prescription drug use, but what I'm saying is, drugs would bring out your latent ability to not be awkward, it's all in the mind, and you can fix it with correct neurochemistry. Try healthy nutrition for brain function, lots of cardio exercise, maybe Muay Thai, meditation. There's a lot of things that increase confidence and combat awkwardness.

 

Good luck.

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I didn't read through the other thread (regarding your "awkwardness"), but I suggest that you develop friendships with people who can bring the best out of you. Hands down, my close friends have had the biggest influence on my social skills than anything. I am light years beyond the person I was in high school: shy, nervous, self-conscious. It's also taken years for these friendships to develop, to blossom out of connections that were initially not meant to be deep friendships. But that's how some of my best friends have come into my life (in large part through personal interests).

 

For the most part, I can make people laugh. I honestly don't even think about it. Humor is part of who I am. Not so much in the telling jokes or stories, but paying attention to how people use timing to drop laughter bombs with just one remark. That's the best kind of humor, in my opinion. I enjoy being around people who are serious, yet don't take everything too seriously. Like, being able to poke fun at even your most serious of endeavors.

 

I think, too, that it's easy to compare yourself to others. A good friend of mine, who I hung out with last night before a jam session, is such a great person to be around if you're down or restless. He always makes people laugh, but is deep with wisdom, insight, and understanding. There are moments when I wish I could carry myself like he does, but then I remind myself of how powerful it can be to contribute to a social experience by just expressing myself in my own way, and not worry about what I am not. If you trap yourself in the habit of thinking that you are not as funny as someone else, then you won't see how you can have meaningful contributions. I say contributions because to me, a social experience is about giving some of yourself to the whole.

 

If you want to learn to be funny, don't read books on it, just observe people and spend time with those who are good at it. Hang out with friends (or establish new ones) and just notice how things flow. If you immerse yourself in that kind of vibe, then it will soon rub off onto you. You will acquire, not learn the ability to be funny in some way. Right now you may me seeking a way to be funny, but it's not a matter of looking for it. Relax.

 

Also, you're not a bad person if you rule out obese people as attractive, but you never know who you'll meet. My best friend from childhood (who is 24) is engaged to a woman several years older than him, who is obese. Love has no boundaries. They have a profound connection that goes beyond physical aesthetics. I'm happy for both of them. We make up lists in our minds of what we do and don't consider attractive, but perhaps what we consider unattractive, when meeting someone who embodies what we consider ATTRACTIVE in the inside, becomes less important to us.

 

I hope I didn't go off on too big of a tangent. Perhaps it helps, though.

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What's wrong with obese girls?

 

Why does there have to be something wrong with obese girls if he doesnt find them attractive, i dont find them attractive either, yet i have obese friends that are girls and they have some of the best personalities, ive found that alot of them are even more secure than better figured women but thats another topic. But yea i dont understand why ud ask that.

 

Find your confort zone. Be funny. Theres really no trick to it you just have to feel good about yourself girls notice, they dont want someone who feels like they cant attract anyone.

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Don't say that.

 

Work on self-improvement. You may not lose it. You can be comfortable with it. Everyone gets those little jitters so don't feel left out.

 

Just focuson your rules and boundaries as what you stand for and you'll have someting concrete to live by that will ease the awkwardness.

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