SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I'm unattractive and have been called ugly my whole life. As a matter of fact I always felt ugly when my last boyfriend looked at other women/went to bars with his friends, without me/watched porn. When I go out I never get any sort of attention even though I wear nices clothes and make up it seems my general lack of curves and my seemingly uninteresting face are not enough How do I ignore it and get over it and not care that I'm ugly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 You mention your "last boyfriend", which implies you have had more than one. I think if you've had a couple of boyfriends you can't be half as "ugly" as you say you are, right? it means you ARE attractive enough, right? Guys have looked at you and dated you etc. Perhaps to make you feel better, do something for yourself - have a mini "make-over". Get your hair cut and styled, change your make-up and buy yourself a couple nice new outfits/shoes etc. It's surprising how great it makes you feel. Oh, and don't forget a nice big happy smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 Sorry it sounded like that. No I've only had one boyfriend. Before I just kissed a couple of guys but nothing formal, they never liked me like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbombSnowMan Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Well its definitely a problem if you yourself think your ugly. But i can't see you so its hard to offer advice. Are you overweight? Maybe post up a pic of yourself and people can help you change up your style. If you had a boyfriend then chances are he found you at least a bit attractive. Oh and btw as a guy i can tell you that men watching porn doesn't mean they have ugly girlfriends. I have a pretty gf and i still watch porn sometimes when im alone, has nothing to do with her looks its just a way to get off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alli Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 A long time ago, I read this short anectodal story about some kid who moved to a new school. The first person she met was this girl who was very friendly & enthusiastic. Not attractive at all, but everyone LOVED this girl. After a while, the new girl was talking to this friendly, unattractive girl one day and suddenly thought she was very attractive. Ok, I didn't tell that story very well. But basically, this girl wasn't pretty but she had such a friendly, energetic & outgoing personality that those traits completely overshadowed the fact that she wasn't naturally pretty. I think it was even a true story. A couple things that will up your attractiveness- smile!! It's hard NOT to like a person who is smiling. And since you are smiling, make sure your teeth look nice. Even if they aren't straight, if you keep them white they will look great. Finally, I'm sure you've tried some of this, but maybe get a makeover (such as at younkers, or have a good friend who knows makeup to help you). Call around & find a hairstylist who is good at choosing hairstyles that fit people's faces & let them try it on you (make sure they have good references!) or at the very least, magazines frequently give you advice on what type of hairstyle to choose depending on the shape of your face. Have a friend that's into fashion help you pick clothes that look good on you. Not just "nice" clothes, but clothes that truly flatter your body. Padded bras, I've even heard of this thing called a "booty pop" that basically pads your butt & gives you shape if you've got a small butt. Lol, I haven't tried it but I am kinda curious. Do you work out? Toning up your body will never hurt anything either! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 No, I'm not overweight. I guess I could lose some more weight, but people tell me I'm already slim, so why more? I'm like 130 lbs, 5'5". I just lack curves you know: butt, breasts, etc. I was heavier before and I didn't have any more curves. I also think I have a plain looking face. I'll try a makeover though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Don't worry about your lack of curves - some guys prefer women who don't have as many. I knew a guy that was always attracted to this gal who always jogged near his office. She had a quite boyish figure and had long hair always in a pony tail. She wasn't gorgeous in the face but was very friendly. That is what he happened to like - fit girls with really hardly any curves. Marilyn Monroe wouldn't have ever turned his head. Everyone has their "type." Why do you think you are ugly? I have known a lot of girls who were average looking who got the guys over the knock outs - they had a good personality and seemed "approachable" so always had boyfriends. Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that if you can work on your self confidence, there are bound to be guys who think you are adorable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I think my look is kinda plain-jane one too. I just play that up though. I dress well, a lot more modest now and I try to keep it sweet and innocent. Really, my friends are gorgeous and I tend to get brushed aside when I go out with them, but I do my best with what I got. What else can you do? Oh and people like me because I'm different. My personality helps, or so it seems! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 No, I'm not overweight. I guess I could lose some more weight, but people tell me I'm already slim, so why more? I'm like 130 lbs, 5'5". I just lack curves you know: butt, breasts, etc. I was heavier before and I didn't have any more curves. I also think I have a plain looking face. I'll try a makeover though. yeah - you don't really need to lose weight but get some tone to you. And wear some clothes to accentuate your best features. Do you have long legs? Or do you have nice shoulders? Every girl has something. And with just a sparing amount of makeup, and the right hairstyle - you won't feel so "plain" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 I guess one huge problem added to this is I'm really quiet and shy. I'm not really bubbly and social butterfly like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Make-up does wonders, make sure you learn how to apply it correctly. You're definitely not fat and don't need to lose weight. Push up bras help some. Granted some things can't be fixed without surgery, personality helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 How can I be more sociable? I've always been too shy and quiet I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I guess one huge problem added to this is I'm really quiet and shy. I'm not really bubbly and social butterfly like. Some guys like quiet girls. But then go hang out to meet guys outside of bars - join a book group or a club where you can meet people in a nonthreatening way, or some museums have events where they have a lecture or outdoor music and snacks, or stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 It'll take work, I'm shy and quiet myself. I don't warm up to people right away and well I know that alone is a turn off to guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 Yes, it's really hard. I even have a hard time meeting new girl friends. But once I meet girls I like we become really great friends. With guys that's a bit more difficult though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 What exactly is it that you find so ugly about yourself? Can you describe it for us so that we have a better understanding please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Funny I always had more guy friends than girlfriends until I got married, divorced now, but girls don't warm up to me as easily. Except at work where they know me on a more personal level. You can try their suggestions, maybe join toastmasters or something it'll get out out talking publicly and that might help build your confidence. I know being more outgoing has a little to do with confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 Well, body wise, the lack of curves. I always notice how guys may like to be with a girl of my build, I mean, they won't turn a girl built like me down, but when a girl with major curves walks they seem to lose the ability to think, and the times I've asked male friends they've said "Well, yeah, deep down every guy wants to be with a 10". And according to them 10 = big boobs, small waist, big butt. And well, my hair is brown, which is so common, I also have thin, low density hair, which means I don't have a lot to work with. I have brown eyes, which is also so common. I seem to have perpetual dark circles under them, no matter how much I sleep or eat healthily and no matter how much water I drink. I have a wide face and thin lips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I don't think you sound ugly at all. The hair is very easy to fix! See a hairdresser, have a new colour put in to enhance your natural colour, cut and style - HUGE difference! Eyes - another easy one - make-up can do miracle work, lol. There's so much you can do do make yourself look and feel better. Give it a try! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Okay start by coloring your hair. Unless it's dark brown because dark brown is sexy but if it's mousy brown COLOR IT. I have a mean mom who told me unless I did certain things I wouldn't be attractive. Hair and makeup are two of those things. I had a doctor tell me to quit wearing make-up (eye doctor) I won't do it and talked him into hypoallergenic makeup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Well, body wise, the lack of curves. I always notice how guys may like to be with a girl of my build, I mean, they won't turn a girl built like me down, but when a girl with major curves walks they seem to lose the ability to think, and the times I've asked male friends they've said "Well, yeah, deep down every guy wants to be with a 10". And according to them 10 = big boobs, small waist, big butt. And well, my hair is brown, which is so common, I also have thin, low density hair, which means I don't have a lot to work with. I have brown eyes, which is also so common. I seem to have perpetual dark circles under them, no matter how much I sleep or eat healthily and no matter how much water I drink. I have a wide face and thin lips. If you have dark circles, wear breathe right strips to sleep - i found I had a deviated septum and wasn't getting enough oxygen at night. A home remedy is cucumbers. then there is always makeup. If you have a wide face - just get your hair styled to flatter it. And wide face doesn't mean you are unattractive - many women do. If you have thin lips, don't use extra dark lipstick - then look at your other features - what is your best feature? Your eyes? your cheek bones? And thin lips are not "bad" - it is just about balancing everything else out. btw, brown eyes - most people have them so they are not a negative! And there are many varieties - if you have deep brown eyes, eyes that are brown with a lot of gold flecsk etc, you can play that up too. What about your eyelashes? Are they thick, long or thin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceOddity Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 They're thick and long, a bit curly. But I don't think guys look at eyelashes the way they look at boobs or big, blue eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 They're thick and long, a bit curly. But I don't think guys look at eyelashes the way they look at boobs or big, blue eyes. Yeah, but the first thing my boyfriend noticed about me was my smile and my eyes. He didn't even notice my boobs (and mine aren't small but I dress to look in proportion). In fact it was our third date when he noticed them because its our personalities that clicked with eachother. We are both sorta shy to the opposite sex until they get to know us - but we just clicked like crazy. Your eyelashes can go a long way to playing up your eyes. With the right eyeshadows, etc, and long curly lashes - can be irrisistable. They might not see it from accross a crowded room but once they get close and lock eyes or are having a conversation with you - they will notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 They're thick and long, a bit curly. But I don't think guys look at eyelashes the way they look at boobs or big, blue eyes. well, my sister is very skinny, dark brown eyes and hair, absolutely no curve in her body and she gets a lot of attention. So I don't think it has much to do with boob size. She is very social tho and is not afraid to smile and talk to people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speranza Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 It's all about what's INSIDE you. You don't like yourself, do you? So what kind of vibe do you think you are giving out? Personally I'd be working on the inside, developing character traits I know others find attractive. Pick three women you admire, famous or not, and imagine they are living your life. What would they be doing differently? Fake it til you make it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.