Jacked_up78 Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 What do you guys think about speeding up the process of your ex missing you? My Ex and I have been on NC for 2 weeks. Amicable break-up but she thought I was too smothering at the end. "Natural reaction" when she backed up a bit and got busy with school. I know she loves me but here's my real question. Would it send a message if I showed up when she was home and handed her the stuff she had at my house and then left? Like here you go have a nice life. Kind of force her to re-evaluate it and miss me quicker? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justletgo07 Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 Doing that would be manipulative and immature, and could easily backfire. I wouldn't do it. You can't make people feel a certain way. You have no control over if or how much she loves or misses you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused2010 Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 I don't think you can "speed up the missing" process. I'm trying to learn this myself. Everyone does things on their own time and through their own ways, you can't force anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny_mcs Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 I read your post about your break-up and it seems like it happened because you were controlling- pouting about her spending time with her friends, calling her friend's phone when you hadn't heard from her in a few hours, etc. It seems to me like this plan of yours is more of the same- you want to "force" her to feel a certain way. I think it would confirm for her that she was right to end the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 No. Just let her be. If she wants to she will contact you. I really don't know why people feel the needy to give things back, if the other person has not asked for their things back just put it in a box and hide it somewhere away from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacked_up78 Posted March 13, 2010 Author Share Posted March 13, 2010 To set the record straight I have been giving her space and realize my faults. This was a suggestion that was made to me. I didn't think it up on my own. I've been trying to better myself through advice. I know I acted stupid so to avoid doing more stupid things I am asking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinnsvini Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I think by contacting her and acting like that the only wakeup call she would get is "I'm glad I got someone like him out of my life" rather than regret that she lost a guy that happy to essentially say 'have a nice life' so soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgirl Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I had somebody who offered to give my things back too soon and it just made me resent them. Like, why didn't they wait until the wounds had healed a little bit?! I think you should wait and if you really want to exchange things, do it respectfully. Eg, write an email or phone call. Don't just turn up at her house, it is really inappropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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