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Girlfriend sort of brokeup

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I've been going out with my girlfriend for 5 years now. Yesterday she said that she has to be alone for a while to see what kind of person she really is and wants to find out what she likes doing. She said that we've always done everything together and she has no hobbies. She also said that she takes me for granted and that's something she doesn't want to do. She said I give her everything and never say no to her. She then mentioned that she treats me like crap sometimes and feels bad about it.


With that said, she made it a point to say she's not ending the relationship. She said the simple fact is that she wants to marry me, but in order to do this she has to find the person she really is. She's 22 (I'm 23) now, and said she didn't want to be middle age and not really know herself.


When I asked if this meant she wanted to see other people, she said absolutely not. She also said that we'll go on 'dates' and she wants me to call and email her.


Does this make any sense? I'm really confused and hurt by the whole situation.

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Gary: Ironic that you seem to have been asked to do the same thing I'm being asked to do by my significant other. My original post was the one titled, "Relationship ending....., mate wants time and space".


I'm not sure what will happen with you BUT I can say that time will tell how she really feels. You are young and she is too. My situation may be a bit different in that I am 44 and she is 41. She's been married before...., for nearly 10 years....., to an a alcoholic. I've never been married but close twice. We've been together at a loving and romantic level for 3 1/2 years...., living together for 3 of them.


The reason I'm bringing up the age disparity is this. She makes a valid point about wanting to do things before she commits and spends the rest of her life with you. But there are married couples who are so devoted to one another that their friendship transcends the issue of "doing things on their own". They shop, dine, travel and do everything together. So I'm not discounting her request...., only saying that she can do things on her own AND maintain your relationship if that's what she really wants to do.


So now you have to accept and understand her desire and then see what happens. If you do, she will respect you for it and can never say you didn't do everything right when it came to your relationship. Tell her she has to be up front with you and, if the time comes that she wants to go elsewhere...., see another "just to see what will happen"...., she has to understand that the relationship will have little meaning.


But give her the space and watch to see what happens. You'll know where it is going in a pretty short amount of time. You need to find things to do. Make sure you do them with friends and in high populated events or venues. Meet other women and see how you feel about things too.


Take control but be understanding. Accept her request but be aware that she may drift away. Or be prepared for her to start thinking more about her decision in the days ahead and to not drift too far away fearing she will lose sight of you.


It is impossible to know what will happen and you have no control over it at this point.


Prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.


I wish you luck. Keep an eye on my posting as I'll probably be updating it after this weekend.




Mike S

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