Jump to content

how to forgive and forget?


PersonalMe

Recommended Posts

I really need to forget about the past. MY past and my partners past. I always get jealous over ridiculous things that r in the past, and i hate it. I can't stand myself for feeling that! i need to forgive and forget...but how?....how did you get over the past? I'm trying so hard to find the answer within me but ive been going at it for...years! and I just cant get myself to change, I will improve for a week and then im back to the old me.

 

I need to start living my life and forget about the bad things in the past. any articles or web pages that r useful are welcome also!

Thank you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What needs to be realised is that whoever you are with they ALWAYS had a life before you and they were a person long before you came into their life. The other thing is the past is NOT going to change no matter how you examine it, look at it, talk about it, cry over it.......it will NEVER change. All you have is TODAY. Why mess up today over something that is never going to change. It is also pretty egotistical to walk into some one's life and make them think they should apologise for being alive. To let it go you have to realise what are you really changing in the past if you are upset about it? Nada. All you are doing is hitting yourself in the face a tennis racket and messing up today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

PersonalMe -

 

It sounds to me like you need to forgive YOURSELF. You should never try to forget the past - no matter how horrible, or wonderful... the things in the past are the building blocks that made you who you are today - and that person you are today is the person your partner has fallen in love with... and how can that be bad?

 

You shouldn't judge yourself too harshly for being a little jealous over things that are in your partner's past - it's only natural to cringe at the idea of them being in someone else's arms (or bed, for that matter) - but what separates the "girls from the women" is how we react to that thought or impulse of jealousy.

 

If your parnter tells stories about past relationships and it upsets you, you have every right to ask them to stop... but make sure to explain that you mean no offense and you're interested in your partner's life and stories - but it bothers you when they talk of past loves and relationships (I'm assuming that's the issue). If they respect you they will stop. When you feel that twinge of jealousy starting to pop up inside you just ask yourself one question... "do I trust this person I am with?" If the answer is yes, then just let it go - the feeling may not go away immediately - but if you reinforce that jealous thought with a positive thought, eventually your brain will hardwire to think positive each time you think jealous. I know it sounds horribly corny but trust me - it's true.

 

Above all - don't be so hard on yourself about it. NOBODY is immune to jealousy and EVERYBODY experiences it... it's nothing that's wrong with you - it's just being human.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...