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well im just so confused now. Last week i met up with my ex and he was telling me how much he doesnt want to be with his rebound and talking about us again. This week we met up for a meal and a game of pool but it got a bit awkward as apparently SHE accused me of slagging her off about her looks as she went to him saying "do you think my eyes are too big?" but i didnt say anything about her eyes at all and im just disgusted that he can believe her mallicious rumours over me. Hes only known her two seconds but whatever

 

Then i asked about the facebook thing (she unblocked me after months of being blocked when she has put a profile pic of them up) like what a coincidence and her excuse was that she "accidently" did it as she was resetting her page???

 

I dont know what her game is but im not impressed.

 

I also got really upset after we said bye and found myself crying....ive been doing really well and our meetings and texting has'nt phased me at all but this time i got a bit upset. I dont know whats going through my head at the moment or his for that matter???

 

Advise please.

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Maybe it isn't a good idea to be hanging out with your ex and his rebound. It is hurting your feelings and it sounds as if no good can come of it. You aren't over him, and if his relationship with the rebound is on the rocks, you are opening yourself to being used by him.

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why are you hanging out with your ex? Your ex sounds like an insecure fool.......why do you want to be with a guy who talks about how much he doesn't want to be with his current girlfriend and doesn't have the balls to break up with her unless someone else is on stand-by? What does that say about you that you even consider being with a guy like this? I'm not judging you, but you need to get real

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i dont know. i wish i could answer that question myself. I suppose because he is familiar and im feeling the lonliness of being single. I know its pathetic and im just not doing myself any favours. I also want him to see me happy and stronger than i was and he has and now im seeing him weak and its like a drug seeing that, to see him being sad and weak when im feeling strong, I suppose im rubbing it in his face like he did with me about his new girlfriend but now im enjoying watching him regretting his actions so i meet up with him to basically show off!!

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you do know the answer because you just typed it. It's time to grow up Dani. Stop contact and stop feeding your addictions and insecurities. Develop self worth and self esteem through beig the best person you can be, instead of propping your self worth up with the validation of needing to be in a relationship or needing to 'win back' an ex

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I just wish i could be positive about dating others but this was knocked when i went on a blind date with a guy a few weeks ago but he was totally not what i expected, he was not my type at all, when i saw him i was so disappointed because i expected something different but got the opposite. I just wish i could get some luck in my life, it seems unfair after all my ex put me through he gets to meet someone so quickly when im struggling so much.

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Please don't spend any more time with them...you're going to torture yourself. It delays your healing. And being around them just adds to those feelings you're talking about - he gets to meet someone quickly and you're struggling.

 

Try to focus on yourself. It's not easy to do, but it becomes a lot easier if you're not spending time with someone who moved on from you - especially if he's with someone else. You're choosing, essentially, to be reminded of the rejection over and over again every time you see these people.

 

And listen to atelis. I also believed, after my last breakup, that i needed "validation" by being in a relationship. I went on a date way too fast, the woman sensed that I wasn't really emotionally available and that I was obviously just looking for "someone" to be with and the date went nowhere....but it did just add to how badly I was feeling about myself. Don't do that to yourself. I will beg you if I have too...lol. I did it to myself, and I hate seeing others do that as well.

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I just wish i could be positive about dating others but this was knocked when i went on a blind date with a guy a few weeks ago but he was totally not what i expected, he was not my type at all, when i saw him i was so disappointed because i expected something different but got the opposite. I just wish i could get some luck in my life, it seems unfair after all my ex put me through he gets to meet someone so quickly when im struggling so much.

 

Dani, I met up with a guy last Friday that wasn't my type at all. I don't know about you, but my type really hasn't worked out very well for me, so I thought it was worth a look. We had our second date last night and not my type is GREAT! He's gorgeous, intelligent, warm, and caring. Yesterday he actually made my heart pound.

 

I'm thinking perhaps looking outside the box is a good idea. Mr. New Guy has so many qualities I think I want in a man - intelligence, kindness, sensitive - that the blue collar and lack of financial success isn't really an issue. It sort of bothered him, but I told him that if we look for reasons it might instead of probably won't work, we could at least enjoy each other's company for awhile. Neither of us is looking for marriage, anyway.

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well this guy was really funny and made me laugh so much but i just dont have that instant attraction with him, hes really nice but i just dont find him attractive and for it to work for me i need that instant chemistry, i cant force myself to fancy someone. He wants to meet up again but i dont know how to tell him i only want to meet up as friends and that i dont like him that way, he told me he really likes me and i just feel really bad. Im also not really looking for a relationship now i just dont feel ready.

 

With regards to my ex i am finding it very hard to not be in touch with him, we hung out at my house last night and just watched telly and had a laugh but he kept saying it was weird being in my bedroom and kept looking at me when i wasnt looking, he tries to tell me about his gf and the fact that she is ignoring his calls but i said im not gonna tallk about her that im not going to give him reassurance when it comes to her, i said i dont want to influence his decisions becuause i feel it will come back on me and i would be blamed if anything happened to them.

 

Anyway im just going to keep my distance and not contact him as much, i cant completely not contact him, i did that before and i broke so that only way i can cope is by us meeting up the odd time for a chat but i am slowly realising that i need to move on and start dating im actually being set up tonight with my mates boyfriend's friend so im gonna make the most out of that.

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