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when it rains..it falls...


bartender69

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So I got a text yesterday. first one after our breakup. "Just wanted to say Hi. Hope your doing well". after fighting myself I finally answered a few hrs later, "Good. Thanks". After hours and hours of a hopeful text thinking things may turn around..nothing. no texts. I just got walked into my managers office. She tells me im not getting a bonus this year because of poor performance. sweet. shoot me. seriously.

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Sorry to hear this bartender,

 

Wish any words I could say would help, having a bad day myself, there's even been tears!

 

Obviously I'm useless at these kinds of things, but it sounds to me like she still has affection for you, and may be just be trying to build bridges to the dreaded friends zone. But then again, she could just be doing it to stroke her ego, to get some attention from you. I take it you are doing NC?

 

I think your reply was spot on, polite, but firm, and it's good to see you've not let yourself get dragged in. In a way it's selfish of her though, as the last thing you probably need just now are reminders and things giving you false hope.

 

I've not heard from mine since I last saw her 12 days ago. Don't think I ever will either. Sad to think that 2 people once so close will never see each other again, seems such a waste.

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why would she write you right back? she did in fact reach out, you didn't ask anything in your text, so what's the problem?

 

many people aren't getting bonuses or raises this year because the economy sucks. the stock market rising over the past year has been much more about hedging against inflation and the eventual destruction of the us dollar, but don't let that fool you into thinking everybody else is getting back on their feet financially. employers and managers are experts at giving b.s. explanations for why you won't be receiving any additional compensation. don't sweat it. if it is poor performance, re-examine your sense of duty to your profession and make some changes, and knock off the excuses.

 

then again, i remember your earlier thread and if i remember correctly, she sounded very manipulative. she's messing with your head now. and you're better off without her, even though it doesn't feel that way right now. it sounds like you're going to keep beating your head against the wall with her until the last shred of hope for getting her back is gone. i feel your pain, and hope that my instincts on this are wrong.

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your right about that. and in the earlier thread, i was talking about my ex ex that grinded in front of me at my bar. This one im complaining about is/was a good one. And ya, i have to get back on track on my job. It was just a very difficult year for me and I wasnt on point. My parents divorce, dog got killed by a car, bad breakup, etc. Im on this forum simply to vent cause..well thats what forums are for. maybe i shouldve answered her question with a how are u. but i dont want to be in the friend zone, at least right now. Im not sure of her intentions with the text.

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i think you gave a good answer, and you shouldn't fret over the lack of response because it was a close ended text - "good, thanks" - ya know? i actually think it's good that you kept it polite and short, not trying to elicit a response out of her. don't worry about it. sorry about your bonus.

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