Give up?

[Pixiemeat]

I've been on a few dates with a guy for about 3 weeks now. Had good times, he's quite shy around me and is not overly organised. However, we get on and seem to like each other.

 

We arranged to go out tonight, he contacted me yesterday about it to ask what I wanted to do, so I suggested something. I have heard nothing since. I'm due to be leaving work in an hour or so, and if I don't hear from him will go home. Isn't it weird that he hasn't contacted me? Do you think if he does I have a right to say that I'm not impressed?

 

Thanks

[Momake]

I would say to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. If his disorganization is due to sheer lazyness then I would say something eventually (say after a few more dates of consistent lack of communication / organization).

 

I don't consider this a deal breaker so there is no point in creating trouble just yet.

[CaptainNapalm]

Well it isn't "tonight" yet so I would give him some more time. After all, the two of you do have plans so he might be assuming you're going to meet him in 5-6 hours. As for what the two of you are going to do, he thinks maybe it's something that can be tackeled later. Perhaps he wants to surprise you with something interesting to do. I wouldn't jump the gun just yet and give him until the late afternoon, early evening. If you don't hear from him by then I'd then consider cutting him off or voicing your concerns.

[annie24]

i think it's pretty rude. do you guys have a time/place to meet? i wouldn't sit around twiddling your thumbs until then, wondering if you are going out or not. if you decide you want to go to the gym, then go. if a friend calls you and asks you to dinner, go. you don't want to sit at home, all dressed up and wondering if you do or don't have a date.

[HouseKitten]

That's pretty rude, I would have thought it was common courtesy to arrange a time and place at least earlier in the day if not the day before at the latest. Is he expecting you to just jump when he eventually gets in touch, whenever that may be?

 

I would prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not get in touch at all.

[BriarRose]

I agree with Annie and HK that it is rude. Unless you had arranged to meet somewhere already, or something like that?

 

What was it you suggested to him?

[Ammy]

I also agree it's rude. Whilst you had arranged that you would do something tonight, it seems you don't know the time or the place. There is no excuse in this day and age for non responsiveness - how much effort does a phone call or text take?

 

That said, I wouldn't write him off completely. If he contacts you, go on the date and see how you feel then. It could just be a miscommunication, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

Ammy

[Ammy]

What happened???

[Pixiemeat]

He texted me at 6pm to ask if we were still going out (a bit like your guy, he never calls) although I had to suggest what we did. So we met up and it was nice, but he's either very shy or not very interested. A little physical, but not much. My flatmate says to think of it from his perspective: this is the first 'relationship' he's had in 3 years, so he may be taking it slow. Maybe it's the same with your guy?

 

Anyway, have decided to chill about it. I said I wasn't impressed with having to wait around, so he may have got the hint. Although I've heard nothing today. I'm just going to leave it to him, as he's obviously the one with the problem.

[BriarRose]

Well, at least he called and kept the plans with you. I wouldn't write him off.

[Ammy]

Pixie - this sounds exactly like my situation. Same thing happened last Sunday on our date - we agreed Sunday night on Thurs... then he doesn't call till 4.30pm (yes he did call for once)... but honestly, a bit last minute. Also lacked physical contact during the date.

 

I feel your frustration.. but yes chill... it helps when you do that... I am trying too!