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Please help - 3 days NC is killing me...


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Hi Guys,

 

Sorry - me again. Im having areal hard time today, I have a feeling like a void where my tomach and heart should be.

 

it's now been 2 weeks and 2 days snce she left and 3 days since I last had contact. I emailed her last Saturday night to tell her that I have now been diagnosed with depresion and am getting the treatment and help I need, (she said the reason she couldnt be with me was my emotional instability). On the Sunday morning she sent me a really nice email saying she was pleased and hoped i found my happiness again.

 

Now im climbing the walls and really want to mail her or text her.

 

Psi

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I know how tough it is on the first days..I can't remember any other time in my life so far where I felt worse. I couldn't eat, sleep, I thought the world had come to an end, would just cry like a maniac, call for his name, I simply.couldn't.accept it. It's deprivation syndrome. And when you feel you make any progress you just wanna let them know. Don't. Really...what's the point? You're still messed up and desperate for her love= not sexy. This time appart will be very good and if there's any chance of getting back together space is the only thing that will help. Stay super strong, cry, listen to depressing songs, post here and stick to NC and working on yourself.

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dont contact her with being diagnosed with depression etc. Dont show your weak etc. I know it stinks, im hurting, your hurting, we are all hurting. but your not going to win her back with depressing things. Stay positive, dont give her ammo to stay away from you.

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Now im climbing the walls and really want to mail her or text her.

 

Psi

 

Make sure you do NOT contact her. You will say and do all the wrong things and she will not respond in a way you'll want. Never contact when you feel you have to, it's always a bad idea.

 

Not only should you not reach out to her, you should not respond if she contacts you either. You have to give her about 6 weeks or so to get over the bad thoughts about the relationship. Contact before then makes you look either pathetic and/or her angry and reinforces her reasoning for leaving you in the first place.

 

Time and silence is your friend, the less you hear from her the better for both of you. You will start to think about her less and less and she will think about you more as long as you are in NC. Breaking NC just starts the clock over again and leaves the door open for making mistakes. You can't screw up if you don't do anything.

 

I've been in your place, it sucks and will suck for a while but it will get better. Two years from now you'll look back at this day and wonder what the big deal was.

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You contact her enough and you will start to feel angry. It's like a cat chasing an item on the end of a string, always slightly beyond the cat's reach. The more chasing, the more exhaustion. At one point you just have to stop and realize that chasing isn't going to get you far. Sooner or later you learn to block her out of your life as much as you can, to where you don't think about how she's doing. I mean, it's been almost three weeks since we broke up, and there hasn't been a morning when I haven't woken up thinking about her. And the past two nights I have dreamt about her the entire night. But the intensity goes away quicker than it did just several days ago.

 

You have to do what you can to pent up some maturity, or everything will be a bigger miss. I feel for you, especially since I'm going through a break up, too. Just got to hang onto friends, family, and passions outside of her. Stay strong!

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Well i stayed strong - she didn't - got home tonight after seeing some friends and here was a mail from her. Nothing more than a simple mail to enquire about some household bills. As there is a financial tie still i replied, simple polite and plain, basically said i was fine and i hoped she was too - about the bill - and ended with take care.

 

I dont get why she needed to mail though, it's coming up to her pay day, but not yet. But i had to reply right? Coz of the financial tie?

 

But dammit NC back to 0...

 

Psi...

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Well i stayed strong - she didn't - got home tonight after seeing some friends and here was a mail from her. Nothing more than a simple mail to enquire about some household bills. As there is a financial tie still i replied, simple polite and plain, basically said i was fine and i hoped she was too - about the bill - and ended with take care.

 

I dont get why she needed to mail though, it's coming up to her pay day, but not yet. But i had to reply right? Coz of the financial tie?

 

But dammit NC back to 0...

 

Psi...

 

you had an obligation to talk about it. You handled it. No problem.

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