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I Really Need Advice and Opinions...I Don't Know What I am Doing!!??


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OK I don't know how many of you know my story. Most of it is in my Relationship that Died thread that I have been using to vent. Anyhow my break up is new. I guess I kind of decided to stop talking to him, but his actions signaled he wanted the relationship to end anyway. We started talking again today after only three days of not talking, and I am feeling like it might have been a mistake.

 

I am copying a few parts of why I started talking to him this morning from my other thread so I don't have to repeat myself:

 

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"He texted early morning. He wrote to me apologizing for his behavior, offered to do somethings, he missed me and was sorry, etc. He wants to come see me.

 

I felt vulnerable, and he told me what I wanted to here, so I responded and said I missed the old him. I am refusing to talk to the new him. He said I could have the old him back, and he has been acting like his old self (probably so fake) all morning since.

 

Now I must be crazy, and insane for even entertaining the idea. I told him we could meet up to talk about it if I had free time. What am I doing? I don't trust this guy. I didn't set a time or day so maybe I can still back out? I don't know if I am making a mistake. I have already made it through three days of misery and I don't want to be back a day one in less than a week.

 

 

Then again, maybe I need to meet with him to know what we had is gone, or to know that I really can't trust him. I have not seen him in three weeks."

 

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We did not see each other today, but tonight we already got into another argument. He hung up on me. I am left to explain the situation via text. I told him I am tired of the roller-coaster and I'm not doing it. He sucks at communicating. Then he texts back says it's not a roller-coaster, he's tired and doesn't want to talk all the sudden. He is actually not mad at me, but he was tired and took it out on me sorry. (Once again the serious part of the conversation is left to text).

 

I realize how much I don't trust him because I start to find the whole situation suspicious. I told him we both need to let go. He laughs says he doesn't need to let go because he was never attached to me. Then he kind of takes it back saying he used to like me, and then Mr. not attached ends up texting me until the situation is reconciled as usual.

 

I honestly don't know what I am doing here. I don't want to go right back to fighting every single day, and I obviously have a trust issue with him.

 

I really do care for him, maybe that is why I wanted to believe him this morning, but now I am feeling like it might just be a lost cause. Maybe we only talk to each other so we don't have that awful feeling in our gut, or at least maybe that is why I do anyway.

 

What am I to do?

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Hey Mee-Chelle,

 

Really sorry to hear what your going through. It is a really tough situation as it sounds as though you bth care for each other but the basic problems ae still there. His telling you that he wasn't attached to you I believe is a coping mechanism on his part, if he wasn't he wouldn't have initiated contact.

 

I am no expert, and to be honest i am falling apart myself after 3 days of NC, but I would say you both need to get your heads straight on what you want and what you can both give to the relationship. Until you both know how you feel fully i cant see how any contact will help. It will just serve to make the situation and the feelings hurt worse.

 

Take care.

 

Psi.

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