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Are "love" and "trust" as big of jokes as they seem to be?


tripped

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I'm sorry, but it seems like no one in this world is trustworthy. Granted, this is probably because I'm still a little hurt, but ever since my ex and I broke up, I have been studying every relationship dynamic I come accross, and that is just the consensus I have come to. My ex told me I was the love of her life... and when the first attractive guy came along showing her some interest and flashing some money, she said she had to see what else was out there.

 

But it's not just her. I've done it, my friends have done it, they've had it done to them, movies show it, my parents multiple divorces show it, mens and womens magazines show it.... people are just not capable of loving and growing with each other.

 

If this is true, then are relationships even worth the effort? I mean, the longer a relationship lasts, the more hurtful it will be when it inevitably ends. So why even bother?

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Why bother having friends? They too will all die.

 

Or pets? They will die quite fast while you live on.

 

Or a job? We can't take it with us in the end.

 

My boyfriend is my best friend and I trust him 100%. Even if it bites me back here or there, you just have to have faith in something in this life.

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Not all relationships are meant to last "forever" some relationships are in your life for just a season... and when we come out of relationships we know a little bit more of who we are.. what we want... what we will accept and not accept. When we have had bad relationships we learn to see the signs earlier before we get too hurt.

 

i think a lot of people think that relationships are suppose to be all roses .. and when they aren't they bail at the first sign of trouble.. and unfortunately people don't know how to be with just themselves.. so they swing from relationship to relationship never growing or understanding themselves or their behaviors so they keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.

 

Take this time for you .. its OK to feel the way you feel .. its ok to evaluate your own beliefs.. but when you are healed and ready .. you will begin to feel differently.

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If this is true, then are relationships even worth the effort? I mean, the longer a relationship lasts, the more hurtful it will be when it inevitably ends. So why even bother?

 

Relationships, not just romantic ones, but all human relationships contribute something irreplaceable and amazing to our lives. Through a break up, we grow. When a close friends leaves, we grow. We see it is as important to have people in our lives, even knowing that not only will they change, but so too will we. My closest friends now may be replaced by new ones in 10 years. I don't think that far ahead, instead being grateful for the people in my life right now.

 

I don't think all break ups happen for the same reason. If someone senses that something is wrong and it can't be fixed, or both people have grown into vastly different life goals, it's scary. People want to know that they have an ally that can help them on whatever path they are on. Perhaps sometimes we fall in love with love, in love with having a girlfriend/boyfriend, and not considering how much we love the person him/herself for the qualities that make that person unique and special.

 

If you truly love yourself, then the coming and going of relationships of all kinds will just be a part of who you are without completely phasing your true identity. We don't need to be in romantic relationships, we don't need close friends, but they open up our minds and hearts and open up some different parallels. If you always remain collected and to yourself, or lose hope in this or that, then that is your decision. But all of these things are part of the human experience. In some sense, romantic relationships don't necessarily work the way they used to. Quite a few people would get married to the first person they date and soon get divorced and find someone new.

 

It's in part about finding yourself. My mother was married before meeting my father. They have been married for longer than I've been alive, but it's not the same now than what it used to. I'm no longer in need of direct raising, so their relationship to each other has changed a lot. They are different people now than they were 23 years ago. My mother told me a few months ago that it isn't looking like they are going to stay together much longer, because she doesn't have the same feelings for him anymore. She soon wants to revisit her roots and try to understand herself more.

 

Relationships make us think about the world, and ourselves, differently.

 

Anyway, just some thoughts on the matter. They probably don't all totally relate to your post, but it's been on my mind lately.

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Wow.. it's like you live in my shoes. I honestly believe everything you just said. I'm 3 months out of a relationship and I'm at the point where I don't think I will ever date, nor do I want to again, because nobody is worth trusting. Someone always cheats or lies and nothing does last forever. What's the use.

 

I sound like a depressing person.. but this is my way of thinking now.

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Yeah, trust is difficult, especially after being hurt and witnessing so much drama in other relationships.

 

But, life would be so lonely if you chose not to ever love anyone again. I mean, honestly, would you rather live your life alone and have no one except a cat and a dog, and be miserable all the time? Or, would you want to take that chance of loving someone in the hopes that it will work out for a very long time.

 

On the other hand, I've seen some very incredible women who choose to live their life alone, and wow, do they ever get around. Travelling, meeting new people, just having a great time all on their own. They seem to be happy, but I wonder if deep down they really are.

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On the other hand, I've seen some very incredible women who choose to live their life alone, and wow, do they ever get around. Travelling, meeting new people, just having a great time all on their own. They seem to be happy, but I wonder if deep down they really are.

 

Perhaps it depends on the person, but a good friend of mine is a yoga instructor and musician, single, and is one of the happiest and most clear people I've ever met... ever. His highest value is not having a girlfriend or getting married, but appreciating life as it is right now. You can tell it is deep, not a superficial smile or act. People like him inspire me to love who I am and just appreciate human relationships when they come, and accept when they go.

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On the other hand, I've seen some very incredible women who choose to live their life alone, and wow, do they ever get around. Travelling, meeting new people, just having a great time all on their own. They seem to be happy, but I wonder if deep down they really are.

 

the only way to find TRUE happiness is from within yourself.. you will never find true happiness if you are not happy with yourself..

 

if you aren't happy with yourself you won't be happy in or out of relationship.

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i think a lot of people think that relationships are suppose to be all roses .. and when they aren't they bail at the first sign of trouble.. and unfortunately people don't know how to be with just themselves.. so they swing from relationship to relationship never growing or understanding themselves or their behaviors so they keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.

 

 

I think this is a very astute comment. Looking back, this does kind of fit what happened to my ex. Seems to be a bit of a pattern developing for her, and I hope she realizes this and gets herself in order before trying again, or I would guess it would result in the same thing.

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