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pictures of ex still up


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Im in a relationship with a girl who I care about lot. we've havent been dating that long but we're exclusive and theres a real connection between us. however somethings she does kind of bother me. on her computer desk theres a collage she had made during college behind the monitor and there are several pictures of her and her ex still up.

 

Im guessing she just forgot about it? I dont think she's doing that intentionally because I trust 100% that she is over him but it still bothers me. I have refrained from saying anything about it because she is very sensitive and would probably feel awful, but at the same time I cant help but feel thats a little disrespectful to me.

 

she also compared my body to her ex once and I really did not like that. she's korean and asian women have got some weird obsession with forcing the guys around them to eat more. she kept calling me skinny jokingly over and over which shocked me because I'm a pretty thick guy and have an athletic build from working out and all the girls I date usually compliment my body. when I asked her what type of body she likes on guys she said her ex boyfriend's off handedly. hes not fat but hes definitely husky. anyway that made me feel pretty crappy. this was like a month ago though so Id feel weird bringing that up.

 

is it worth it to address the issues? my girlfriend is a sweetheart and I know she adores me but those two things have got me feeling weird.

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i know exactly what you mean, i a in the same situation. my boyfriend has this HUGE collage of him, his friends, brothers and ex girlfriend. Also, still has a profile pic on his main pics on facebook of him and her kissing. I wish I knew wether or not to bring it up. its so confusing. =(

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is it worth it to address the issues? my girlfriend is a sweetheart and I know she adores me but those two things have got me feeling weird.

 

I think if something is "bothering" you, then yes, communication is best. For one, you are going to learn more about her by how she reacts to what you have to say, which is very valuable information to have.

 

Though - caution...the way in which you present these thoughts to her will make allll of the difference. Be sure to be very positive about it. Tell her you want to share these feelings that came up because you want her to be able to do the same & want both of you to have a "safe" open feeling relationship communication wise.

 

Just think carefully beforehand what you will say & how you will word it...

 

She probably didn't think about how it may have felt for you because she didn't mean any harmful intent, but no, I don't think it was a good idea at all to say to you as the current bf that you are too skinny & that she liked the body of her ex...

 

We are all sensitive about our bodies in terms of intimacy & it is a very vulnerable place to be as well, so it's important to really "boost" our partners, make them feel good, in anything related to this area....

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well, i think it depends on how the relationship with the ex ended. if it was on very friendly, very mutual terms - she might be talking about him like a friend?

 

I think worrying depends on how much she mentions him. If it's just in terms of comparing body types, I wouldn't worry too much. has she at least complimented you on your body?

 

Here's something to nibble on, we're never going to find something who's a checklist on everything we want. my friend loves tall guys but she's dating someone who's her height now and she still loves him. Just because she likes a certain trait on another guy doesn't mean all your traits together adds to a better partner for her (compared to the other fellow).

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I think it is kind of distasteful to still have pictures out of your ex, when you are with someone new. But it depends on the nature of the collage, is it a bunch of friends and her ex is interspersed in them, I think that would be ok... but pics of him and her kissing, or just pics of him and her, time to put those away.

 

Then there's facebook. I hate facebook. I don't know what to say about that one. I think the romantic pics of you and your ex could be deleted or at least put in another folder somewhere on your computer if you really wanted to keep them. I kept my photos of exes in a box and then I just threw it out one day.

 

I'm not much of a pack rat. At all. Every time I move I fill a dumpster of things to throw out/give away. So I don't keep stuff like that. But I know a lot of people do. So its hard to say.

 

I would talk to them about it and just share your feelings. Otherwise the change probably won't be made if she doens't know its bothering you.

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they arent kissing in the pictures but theyre definitely couple pictures. her and her ex did not end on good terms at all but they're civil enough now. I have no doubt she thinks Im a better guy than him; shes always telling me how well I treat her. but she doesn't really compliment my body she just tries to make me eat more.

 

I just dont think thats too fair. my last serious relationship was with a tall thin blonde girl who was very pretty and my girlfriend is on the curvier side. Im very attracted to her but Im sure if I ever compared her to my ex she would feel terrible and rightfully so.

 

I'm biracial, 6' ft tall and 200 lbs and work out all the time. and hes korean, 5'8 and chubby. Im not a self conscious guy by any stretch of the word, probably a little too cocky for my own good, but being compared to him in a negative light was a pretty big blow to my ego.

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I don't think there's a problem with addressing it to her as long as it's not said as some sort of accusation. It all comes down to how you ask her about it and as long as you are nice and there is no accusations or harsh words being thrown at her, it's perfectly fine. Part of being in a relationship with someone is to be able to say how you feel.

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I do not think it is ever a good sign when an ex's photos are up in clear display. It would bother me, too.

 

It depends.

 

It's normal to keep things from the past. Some people may have held something up and have long forgotten it's even there.

 

If, say, you were dating a guy, and you walk into his room the first time and find a lot of things from his ex-girlfriend (her love letters scattered on his desk, for example) then he may have a problem letting go of the past, and it's a clear indication that he's not ready to be with a new woman.

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It depends.

 

It's normal to keep things from the past. Some people may have held something up and have long forgotten it's even there.

 

If, say, you were dating a guy, and you walk into his room the first time and find a lot of things from his ex-girlfriend (her love letters scattered on his desk, for example) then he may have a problem letting go of the past, and it's a clear indication that he's not ready to be with a new woman.

I didn't say she shouldn't keep them. I said it would bother me if the photos were in clear display. It is a sign to me that she is not over him. I am not sure how I would bring up the photo or if I would say anything at all.

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I didn't say she shouldn't keep them. I said it would bother me if the photos were in clear display. It is a sign to me that she is not over him. I am not sure how I would bring up the photo or if I would say anything at all.

 

Yeah, that I understand. I agree. But then the OP also stated that his gf and her ex only talk a little bit... Or do I smell a rat? She could very easily lied to the OP and actually talk to this ex practically everyday!

 

Ugh. Dating sucks so bad, lol!

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Yeah, that I understand. I agree. But then the OP also stated that his gf and her ex only talk a little bit... Or do I smell a rat? She could very easily lied to the OP and actually talk to this ex practically everyday!

 

Ugh. Dating sucks so bad, lol!

I agree. I thought of that, too. It's not like she is going to say, "yeah, we talk every day..."

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I agree. I thought of that, too. It's not like she is going to say, "yeah, we talk every day..."

 

Yep, to avoid confrontations or getting into a fight, or getting caught, it's better to tell a white lie.

 

"You talk to your ex?"

 

"Oh, just a little bit, it's rare contact..."

 

Sure.

 

Us women, when we are DONE with an ex and think he's nothing but a piece of turd, we don't even LOOK at his way ever again. If we're talking to an ex, something is there.

 

There are a few rare cases where exes are totally just that, friends and that's it. But it's rare.

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Yep, to avoid confrontations or getting into a fight, or getting caught, it's better to tell a white lie.

 

"You talk to your ex?"

 

"Oh, just a little bit, it's rare contact..."

 

Sure.

 

Us women, when we are DONE with an ex and think he's nothing but a piece of turd, we don't even LOOK at his way ever again. If we're talking to an ex, something is there.

 

There are a few rare cases where exes are totally just that, friends and that's it. But it's rare.

I agree. But I actually think it's this way for men, too. I think when they remain "friends" with an ex gf, there is still something there.

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