help...regret ending it on the spot

[Emily100]

we have been together about 2.5 months. Bf has been wanting increased togetherness and contact. he had been calling me every day, several times a day and talking about things we'll do in the spring and summer, etc. always telling me he loves me.

 

then bam! I found him online at a dating site while I was shutting down my profile. I asked him why. he said that he relealized that I would never convert to his religion and now knows that he wants to marry a woman of his faith.

 

Well, I said if this relationship is limited I am ending it on the spot, this moment. Now I regret not talking it through in person. I've called him yesterday and left a message. he hasn't called back, I just sent him an email to please call. nothing yet.

 

why isn't he returning my call???? what do you think is going on here???

 

it went from everything to nothing in two minutes. maybe there's another woman already...:sad:

[ghost69]

this might be hard to swallow, but you were expendible to him.

[captain_james]

If you feel that strongly about things, they SHOULD be ended. For your sanity, try to put it behind you.

[happylady]

So he went behind your back and went on a dating site to find another woman and you want him back? What if you never saw him on the dating site and one day he just says oh hey btw i found someone who is better then you cause she is same religion as me so bye.

 

Anyone can use words to say whatever they want to... but in the end its the actions that speak louder. Consider yourself lucky you found out within 3 months and it didnt get more serious. Like ghost69 said he was shopping around even though he "said" he loved you all the time.

[Aviatormy]

2.5 months? Way too early for this ammount of drama and other dating sites. I agree with Ghost, you were expendible to him and he is looking for other options now. I would suggest that you move on. If you had been with him longer like a year, I would say just give him time.

 

You guys should still be in that "honeymoon" phase. The fact that he is already looking for other women tells me that he was not all that into you. You are going to end up getting hurt if you try to stay with him. He has moved on.

[troubleis]

emily, i admittedly usually err on the side of giving the guy the benefit of the doubt.

 

however, in this scenario, you have been wronged. i think this guy is a weasel and a scumbag. he was scoping out new girls on a dating site, 2.5 months into a committed relationship with you. and he didn't even bother to tell you about it, which only makes matters worse. completely dishonest. what a weakling.

 

it's odd how sometimes religious people feel justified in treating others like dirt because you aren't religious or are of a different religion.

 

were you really, truly shutting down your profile? only you know in your heart the answer to this. if the answer is yes, then i think you leave him in the dust. trust that some bad karma will surely come his way.

[Emily100]

it really helps to hear all of that ... yeah what I am thinking? ... he was going behind my back checking out other women while making love to me!!!

[Emily100]

Update, he did reply to my email the next morning and we talked on the phone. There was an issue he had but said that it was something that we could work through. I asked him if there was another woman and he said absolutely not.

 

I thought we had opened the door and were headed towards more reconcilation. Then I sent him an email late last night about a party we had been invited too. This morning he wrote back and said it would be too awkward and declined. He said he cannot be with me at this time because his life is a big financial disaster.

 

Meanwhile, I am taking some classes he has an interst in and asked me to let him know how it is going.

 

I took the whole email as a 'dear john' letter and feel very hurt and rejected'. End of story...but could sure use some input or perspective on this...

[troubleis]

oh no.

 

c'mon emily, this guy is a loser.

 

right now i have a sinking feeling as i read your last post. you're clinging to any shred of hope. i've been there. things just got worse until all hope was gone. then paradoxically things got better.