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Level 5 Clinger


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I have this wonderful way of attracting a) people who freaking obsess over me or b) people who pretend they like me then avoid me. I have only found a handful of people in between and I stick with them.

 

About two years ago I worked as a photo tech and a coworker who shared similar interests wanted to be my friend. We were both in relationships at the time and I was not really into him that way. I always found some reason to avoid hanging out with him... honestly not even sure why, but I felt guilty.

 

Well, fast forward to the past month- turns out we are both single and going through some things. He immediately starts going on and on about how he's always liked me and thought I was pretty and awesome (we lost contact for almost a year!) and he wants to take me out and all that jazz but "just as friends".

 

I have no friends and I understood how he felt so I was ok with seeing a movie. He calls, texts, fb messages and posts on my page like a madman. This behavior always always turns me off a person. I mean, he called me 16 times in one day!!!

 

At this point I'm just so not interested in being his friend because when people do this I shut down. He sends me messages saying "I have a feeling we will never hang out but I would like to hang out. Don't think I have bad intentions, I just like you and I need friends can we hang out?"

 

This would be fine except he sends it three times a day!!

I feel bad for him and I don't want to be rude, but I can't deal with this.

 

Any suggestions?? Thank you.

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I agree. I feel sorry that he's lonely but he doesn't appear to have any self control.

The only thing is that I've already told him I needed some time to myself; it worked for about two days then (once he did this to another girl and she cut contact) he spazzed and came back around.

 

I think I will have to be more forceful :s

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Just tell him that his constant contact is making you NOT want to hang out. You don't have to be rude but you should definitely tell him what his impulsive behavior is doing to your attitude towards him.

 

He even admits this- "I know that I've called you and bugged you a lot but I just really want to hang out."

 

But you're right, I need to be more clear with him. Sorry if this thread is too simple or obvious lol I just wondered if anyone had similar stories.

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Oh, I feel for you, I had a similar thing happen. The guy was nice so I really didn't wanna be rude. I tried and tried (wasn't as insane as your case). To avoid him as a fling I cried in front of him about my ex. But then he wanted to even just be friends. I told him I'm depressed and don't wanna hang around anyone. He gave it 2 weeks but then wanted to hang out again. I said no and then he turned it against me saying "I just want to hang out not to marry you". From the night I had cried about my ex I told him that he's nice but that I'm looking for something else. I had to reiterate at a later point in capitals I want something ELSE. That I'm trying to be true to myself without being rude to him. Sadly you will have to be forceful and do it as early as you can because you will get angrier as time goes by. Once you make your point clear don't reply to any contact.

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It is... I mean, I don't have anyone me around but I make do. I'm not going to blow up someone's phone begging for their attention! What is wrong with people?

 

Basically the NEED for attention overrides any rational thought. Like a drowning person and oxygen.

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It's true, you're right. The odd thing is- he has way more friends than I do. His fiance left him because he talks to girls all the time (SHOCKER). I cannot even imagine having him as a boyfriend constantly stalking other women like he does.

 

Why do I draw these people to me?? I need to change something.

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It's true, you're right. The odd thing is- he has way more friends than I do. His fiance left him because he talks to girls all the time (SHOCKER). I cannot even imagine having him as a boyfriend constantly stalking other women like he does.

 

Why do I draw these people to me?? I need to change something.

 

Leave Michigan!!!!!

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It's honestly sad people are this cripplingly lonely.

 

I know, I've thought the same..I just create things/creatures when I'm lonely.

 

And what's weird is you can't really get through to them. Any effort to explain they perceive it as you caring and then they like you more.

 

ISH - dunno about you but I attract some odd behaviour because I like odd. I'm drawn to unusual things/people myself and I guess we find each other. In my case it takes a while to find "somewhat odd and somewhat balanced"

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I know, I've thought the same..I just create things/creatures when I'm lonely.

 

And what's weird is you can't really get through to them. Any effort to explain they perceive it as you caring and then they like you more.

 

ISH - dunno about you but I attract some odd behaviour because I like odd. I'm drawn to unusual things/people myself and I guess we find each other. In my case it takes a while to find "somewhat odd and somewhat balanced"

 

I am a bit weird, I guess. I love boy things like sports and lewd comedies and I like metal and horror movies but I dress like a secretary and people think I'm straight laced... idk I'm a complex person.

 

Bad and crazy guys love me because I'm a fun but safe girl I guess.

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Just tell him that you can only tolerate 15 calls per day and not 16.

 

Ok I was kidding! Wow, this guy is really clingy. And I really do not believe that he just wants to be friends with you. And you should not either.

 

haha

I certainly do not believe he just wants to be friends- he wants a girlfriend to "make his problems go away" as he's said.

 

Not how it works, sorry!

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