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Everyone Who Is A Virgin is A Virgin By Choice?


Night Pumpkin

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Who here agrees with this statement, that the only people who are virgins are people who choose that lifestyle.

 

Considering how easy it is to get sex, especially on any college campus, or just by visiting Graigslist, can one make the argument that anyone who is a virgin is that way for reasons other than choosing that lifestyle?

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If you really want to have sex, you can get it. Illegal ways included.

 

However, a lot of people want to have sex with someone who they are attracted to, who is attracted to them, in a situation where it is meaningful, etc. I think they should want that as there is more than just lust that they want to experience.

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I disagree with that statement. All you have to do is spend time on ENA and you see dozens and dozens of threads where people are saying they are 20, 25, 30, 35+ years old and still virgins and desperate for sex etc etc. None of them say it's by choice. Sure, they can get sex (prostitutes, etc), but none want to take that avenue.

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Who here agrees with this statement, that the only people who are virgins are people who choose that lifestyle.

 

Considering how easy it is to get sex, especially on any college campus, or just by visiting Graigslist, can one make the argument that anyone who is a virgin is that way for reasons other than choosing that lifestyle?

 

It's as much of a choice as your personality is a choice.

 

I have a friend who is a total * * * * . He goes out just about every weekend, and almost every time gets laid. He is not the best looking guy in the world, and in all honesty is fairly dumb. While he can get laid easier than most (not exactly sure how that is), he has never been any relationship that has any sort of meaning.

 

Sex is easy for those just looking for sex. Sex is more of a challenge when you want a relationship first.

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I'm still a virgin but not by choice at all. I have always wanted to have sex since I was a teen. I want to have sex but it is very hard to get sex. My problem is I'm "unattractive" I can't attract females at all. I'm short (5'3) unattractive, and born with MHE. I have tried so many times since I was a teen and still today nothing. I go for average, and some below average girls who share the same interests as me but nothing. Being a short ugly deformed guy is very hard to attract girls and hard for me to get sex. The only way I could get sex is if I go to a hooker or make a trip to the Bunny Ranch.

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people might have a great fear about having sex - e.g. for fear of rejection or have a phobia. In this case does the person have a choice? Maybe it depends how strong the fear or phobia is. I suppose you could argue people have a choice to let the fear or phobia control their behaviour to some extent. However, if the fear is great then maybe they don't have the means to beat it unless the have the tools?

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Definitely disagree.

 

It is like saying:

 

Everyone who isn't a murderer isn't a murderer by choice.

Everyone who isn't a plumber isn't a plumber by choice.

Everyone who isn't a astronaut isn't an astronaut by choice.

Everyone who hasn't gotten a Nobel prize hasn't by choice.

 

The difference is that a murderer, plumber, astronaut, and obtains a Nobel prize are very selective groups who only a very small fraction of the Earths population are a part of. Some people may want to be an astronaut, and work really hard at it. But they still never get to be an astronaut. It just doesn't happen for them.

 

Same scenario for a Virgin. Some, despite trying, just can't make it happen for themselves. They can't 'achieve' the goal. Although that is very subjective, because most virgins can put more effort into it. Myself included.

 

Sure I could go on eBay and buy a Nobel prize (maybe? But what is the point? What did you accomplish? Nothing changed, you didn't earn it like everyone else. That is the reason not many break down and go to a prostitute to loose their virginity. They are still in the same point they were before.

 

The only difference between being an astronaut, and no longer a virgin is ~95% of the Earths 18+ population are NOT virgins. They were able to make it happen for themselves. THAT is what a virgin who is a virgin NOT by choice sees, and makes them feel bad/ left out/ not part of the group. Going to a prostitute isn't going to change those feelings.

 

The only thing a Virgin can control is what they do to find the right person. Despite all obstacles, and road blocks. The only Virgins who are Virgins by choice are the ones who don't do anything at all to change the situation. And religious reasons as well. But those virgins probably turn down sex often, while the others don't get many or any offers at all.

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Getting sex is easy.

 

But it's also hard at the same time because people who are very easy to give away sex like candy are either;

 

A) Desperate

B) A total h0e.

 

And people don't always like to sleep with those who have those kinds of reputations. STD scares are also common.

 

Dating can also be easy... But getting into a meaningful relationship where you really like the person and they like you back? Now THAT'S hard!

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Getting sex is easy.

 

But it's also hard at the same time because people who are very easy to give away sex like candy are either;

 

A) Desperate

B) A total h0e.

 

And people don't always like to sleep with those who have those kinds of reputations. STD scares are also common.

 

Dating can also be easy... But getting into a meaningful relationship where you really like the person and they like you back? Now THAT'S hard!

 

You also have to consider that for some people it's not easy to get sex, or at least full sex, for how shall we say? - reasons of 'fit'. So even trying really hard is not always a guarantee of success.

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You also have to consider that for some people it's not easy to get sex, or at least full sex, for how shall we say? - reasons of 'fit'. So even trying really hard is not always a guarantee of success.

 

Exactly! It isn't easy for some people. But you have to keep in mind the gender differences. Definitely different being male/female virgin.

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Honestly, guys who get laid easily are guys who know who and how to prey on girls. That's all it is. I have friends that would **** anything that walks if it walked by at right timeand place.

 

For most people, it's not difficult due to our current society mindset. Abstaining from sex is actually harder. I can't tell you how often I get harassed by my friends/nosy people about being single/ not sleeping around.

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This is false. There exists a type of virgin called the "involuntary celibate" virgin, or incel for short.

 

I know I was at my wit's end before losing mine. I even thought of taking my life, and I had the best opportunity to do so just a couple weeks before I lost mine: I had a job at a 20+ story building doing maintenance, and I was told to take my lunches in the engineer's office above the top floor, where the elevator gears are. I was alone and had the easiest access to the roof. If I had stayed beyond five days, I probably would've jumped.

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Believe it or not its a choice by me.

 

I could have got laid a few time already but it would not make much sense to tell a girl that I've never had a girlfriend and get her hopes high and then tell her I'm not a virgin either then she will have a red flag the size of texas pop in her mind cause thats just the way women's minds work. It would create more difficulties for me dating than I currently have.

 

Since then many men have told me I have to be gay, I'm not a real man for not having sex. Also many women have turned me down because they like a guy who know's what he's doing.

 

 

Getting sex is farily easy however finding someone in which you want to have sex with is kind of hard or in my case impossible. Even sites like POF you can find someone to hookup with.

 

My frustrations come from trying to date women. Most girls do not value me or appreciate me in anyway. The only girls who do understand me are those who are already married or in a relationship and its like you cannot really help if you have a partner already.

 

So I have given up completely. I sick and tired of running into the same old BS excuses as to why they will not date me or they have kids, or in some type of relationship.

 

I guess I'm a virgin by choice because you cannot accomplishing losing your virginity to its fulliest without dating and being in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I guess most girls aren't up to dating a virgin like me.

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And virgins don't want to sit there and be like, "Yeah, I gave up my virginity to a prostitute." while everyone gets into these fond memory lane episode and talk about how romantic and sweet it was...

 

It is hard.

 

There's that. But there are SO many people whose first times were either underwhelming, embarrassing, or just plain uncomfortable. And they have led sane, fulfilling lives.

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Well, funny you mention that's just how the female mind works... On one hand you say they don't want someone if he's not a virgin, and then you go on to say they don't want you if you are a virgin. As many people, both virgin and not have relationships AND sex, I think you might be barking up the wrong hoohah here with this explanation.

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There's that. But there are SO many people whose first times were either underwhelming, embarrassing, or just plain uncomfortable. And they have led sane, fulfilling lives.

 

I meant people want to give their virginity to someone they love and care for. Wasting it on a prostitute doesn't sound like a nice story to share with people if the topic ever comes up in a group of people.

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I meant people want to give their virginity to someone they love and care for. Wasting it on a prostitute doesn't sound like a nice story to share with people if the topic ever comes up in a group of people.

 

I suppose not, but it depends on what you consider important. I just wanted to be rid of my virginity and join the dating scene.

 

See, virginity is, for the most part, just an idea. If you're going to place importance on something significant with someone else, let it be something really important, like marriage.

 

Besides, is that the biggest reason you'd save your virginity for someone special? To have an interesting story to tell? I would've much rather say I lost it to a drunk girl at a party when I was 20 than to my first girlfriend at 24. It raises fewer eyebrows, anyway. But then, I'm an agnostic who believes eloping in Vegas can be just as special as a white wedding in a chapel.

 

I mean, do you like the idea of saving your virginity for someone special, or do you just want to be with someone special? If it's just sex that's eating at you, then by all means, have it however you can and move on with experience and confidence on the dating scene.

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Yes, virginity is just an idea. By wanting to lose it, you are putting more importance on it than need be. So, you have sex...then what? Now you're that guy who had sex with a prostitute.

 

Now, you'll probably say to me 'oh, you're a girl. You don't understand', and I guess I don't because I've never worried about virginity. I had it longer than over 95% of people. I didn't care. And I didn't care when I lost it.What I did care about was how I felt. I didn't want to have sex with someone I wasn't deeply in love with. Whether it was my first time, or 100th time, I didn't want to. So, I placed no importance on my virginity.

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