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GF wants to be friends with a convicted criminal.


mattsi07

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So, my gf was talking about some guy she works with who was convicted of dealing dope, DUI's, and some other crimes. Apparently, he is on work-furlough. His parents disowned him to let him learn his lesson or some crap, blah blah blah. She says he's nice and said that he wants to have drinks with her when he gets out. I was like, uh uh, no way. I don't care how "nice" he is at work. I don't want her hanging out with someone like that who just got out of jail. Then we got into a semi-argument about people and changing. Ok, maybe a few months afterwards when he can prove it, but not right away...

 

I did drugs when I was younger, never dealt and also was never in jail, but I know a lot of people who were and a lot of them NEVER changed. Sure they would a little after they got out, but not enought to stay straight for long. Sure there are those that did, but a lot didn't. I stopped and never looked back after what I saw happen to friends. 15 years later I can say I've changed so I know it can happen.

 

She just met this guy like 2 freaking weeks ago and now she's considering hanging out with him? There's other guys she worked with and didn't hang out with after months. What the hell man? I couldn't believe I was even talking to her about that. Have some common sense. At least she told me first.

 

But am I wrong to think this is a bad idea??

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Well, on the jail spectrum, selling marijuana seems a bit minor (dope is marijuana, right?). It's not like he killed someone, stole stuff or committed arson.

 

What I would be more concerned about is why she wants to meet some guy she's known for 2 weeks & why she wants to have drinks with him. His past aside, this part alone is what would bother me the most.

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^^ yeah, that is a sort of 'date like' situation regardless of the guy's background. i'm for women and men being friends, but i wonder about how honorable his intentions are. it's not as if this guy is an old college friend or something.

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They met at work. Apparently, he said to have her and her boyfriend (me) come out and not just her. I still have no desire to meet this guy and I'm not against her having guy friends which she has, but I draw the line here. She did say she would not hang out with him without me though and that she would be cautious, with some coaxing at least I got that through to her.

 

But it is still upsetting to me that she is so trusting. It seems naive and careless to me. Like annie said, it's not like they are old friends. They just met for crying out loud.

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I have a friend who I found out soon after meeting him just got out of jail for DUI's. He's a great guy and a wonderful human being. He just has a rough life and uses alcohol to quell it. And, he made some bad choices by driving after he's been drinking. He's still probably one of the best guys I've ever met.

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It's kind of weird that they want it to just be her, you & him. Like, if my bf came home & said he met some friend & wanted us to go have drinks with that person, I would probably be like "why...?".

 

Maybe make it a group thing? Get some of their other coworkers to join you guys? He may not be a bad guy, he just got caught doing things that a lot of people do (well, I guess I don't know a lot of dope dealers but most of my friends drive home from the bar).

 

Actually about a week ago, I really thought I was going to get a DUI! I went to the bar with a friend, had 3 drinks from about 9pm-1am. So it was 4 hours; most of it should have worn off but I'm small (125lbs) so it takes me longer than most people to break down alcohol. One of my headlights was out and I guess I was driving a little too carefully at 1am, so the cop pulled me over! I was like "crap, there goes my license, career, thousands of $ in fines." I was envisioning myself getting handcuffed. Suprisingly, the cop didn't say a word. I thought I would probably pass a breathalizer, but STILL it scared the crap outta me!! I should buy my own little breathalizer thing so I know if I'm legal before I get in my car.

 

Anyway, I got off-topic. Why not just try a group-thing with him? I'm actually suprised he would go for drinks... I think people with DUIs aren't supposed to drink at all for a certain period of time after the DUI.

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umm when leaving jail arent you on some kind of probation wehre your not suppose to be drinking?or going to any type of bars/clubbs... especially since he had a DUI?

 

Maybe he's been out long enough & his probation period is over? Either that or he just doesn't care.

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Sounds like the guy just wants company..if he's getting out of jail he's probably aching for some social activity. I would still be weary, what is dope in your book? My old buddy from high school became a herion addict and that's dope, but my grandma will call pot dope, and the two are very different. If it's herion, stay far far away, you can check you're county court records to find out what he went down for, if it's pot..he just made some bad choices, I would go hang out just to entertain, but make sure you tell your girl that you're willing to entertain the idea and him, but you don't want to become friends, or be close. That is how I handle my old friend from high school, you can't hang with him, he lies, cheats, and steals for his addiction, I won't be a close friend to him anymore, but once every couple months we'll hang out.

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