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Does anybody believe things happen for a reason?


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Well, I had a sort of strange thing happen today - just a weird story if you're bored. I had been in the process of trying to sell my vehicle since November, I posted an ad online for it. I had a few offers but only by email (and extremely low) so I was getting a little worried that it wasn't going to sell. Then I had someone reply to my ad and asked to come check it out, so we set it up for Sunday. By that time my insurance was going to expire in just a few days. So he comes by and looks at it, takes it for a ride and immediately he wants to buy it! He was really nice, the very first person to even come look at it, and he wanted to give me full price! So we arranged it all, and met up at the bank today to do transfer the money and do the insurance - which actually expired today.

 

Then he tells me on the way back the reason why he wanted to buy it straight away and not even bother trying to get a lower price - he said he had been looking around for a while with no success, then he had this strange feeling while browsing one day when he saw my ad. I had replied to him right away when he sent me a message about it, and he noticed my name in my email - my name is the same as his mother would passed away when he was young (I don't have a very common name) and he thought it was a sign. It was also weird for me because nobody have even come to look at it before, and my insurance was expiring today - the day I sold it to him and transferred it over.

 

He was very talkative guy, and on the drive back we started talking about what a coincidence it was and all that. Then he started getting into just life in general, and how sometimes bad things happen (loss of his parents) and how even though at the time it can be devastating, it can also impact your life in positive ways too. Then he brought up that he had gone through a breakup with his ex-fiance...weird eh? I told him I had just recently gone through a breakup too and it was actually the reason why I was selling it in the first place - it is all a result of the breakup.

 

Then he told me something I had already been thinking about before, that sometimes in a relationship we depend on the other person to make us happy when that's our job. It's weird because when my ex broke up with me he told me he was unhappy, and I remember thinking...Why? I loved him and cared about him, I was so happy. I had even wrote to him in an email once that he was responsible for his own happiness, not me. The guy told me that he thought I was really friendly too, and it just reminded me that I am a really happy person...so why do I have to let this affect me so much? It was his decision to break up, and maybe something positive will come out of this someday who knows.

 

I don't know, the whole thing was kind of odd - the coincidence of everything, basically for him it was all meant to be I guess he took it as a sign from his mother, for me it came at the exact perfect time, and he was such a nice guy it just brightened my day! I met a total stranger and somehow we ended up talking about relationship breakups.

 

So, what do you think? Do things happen for a reason?

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You know I've just been so down lately, and meeting this guy today just made me feel better. To see someone who has gone through worse than me with such a positive attitude about life...I guess it just made me realize that I'm focusing too much energy on my ex, and also that I don't need his attention/approval to be happy. It was all such a coincidence too, and maybe some things are meant to happen, and not necessarily the breakup per se, but I have made some positive changes in my life since so at least I'm moving forward.

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Great story, thanks for sharing it

 

I don't think it hurts to believe that things happens for a reason, despite coincidence being purely to do with probability and numbers etc.

 

Having said that I totally believe in things happening for a reason. Not sure if people saw my thread on whether I should move back to LC from NC....

 

Anyway, yesterday I took the leap. I sent her a message of support to do with an ongoing health problem she's trying to overcome and without knowing it, the text arrived just before she woke up on the day she started a new regime to help her over come it. The text was the "perfect way to start the process", her day and also bridge the gap from NC back into LC.

 

Who knows if this will be a turning point for us, but even if it isn't - it really helped us both out

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Haha well, he's around ten years older than me But he was really nice, and I may even visit him at his work one of these days to see how it's going.

 

And I took the plunge and messaged the ex...well I've got nothing to lose I guess

 

Well, you never know where things will go. Age is only a number. Once you're 700 and he's 80 it's hardly matter. lol! But it never hurts to have another friend.

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Well, you never know where things will go. Age is only a number. Once you're 700 and he's 80 it's hardly matter. lol! But it never hurts to have another friend.

 

Yeah, once you're 700 it won't matter. Being that old makes you so wrinkly that you can't move.

 

But seriously, I do think things happen for a reason. My ex used to always say it. I miss her so badly.

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Well if we did meet for a reason I doubt it has to do with a romantic interest, we come from different worlds, I just think maybe to make a new friend? Ahh I don't know anymore...damn and I just sent a message to my ex, I hope I didn't make a mistake

 

I just told him about something that I did today, how it was funny and that I just thought of him. I didn't ask anything, but I'm kind of putting myself out there with the message, it shows him that I care but will he take it as me being weak? Silly me

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Yea just last week something happened to me.

 

 

 

 

I ran into my ex at my college in the morning. We made small talk and made our way.

 

Then at lunch (carls jr. lol) a song came on that always makes me very emotional because it reminds me of my ex. Out of all the songs in the entire world, they had to play this one...

 

Then I drove back to school. Got out of my car and ran into her again! Again, we just made small talk and went our own ways.

 

 

 

This really disturbed me and I really don't know what to think about it....

Of course, being the dumpee I saw this as a sign that I should try contacting her and trying to reconcile, but fortunately I had a friend tell me it would be a bad idea and I would regret it.

 

But yeah, I still don't know if all this happened for a reason or if it was just one big coincidence.

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im sorry

 

Oh, don't be sorry sugar. I'm not. I learned something from that experience and turned what seemed to be a negative into a positive.

 

Sometimes coincendence is merely that. And other times, it can have meaning. I think it all depends on what you want to believe.

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Hey adviceseeker. Out of all the posts I've ever read on this site yours made me feel really good about myself Thank you for posting your little story.

 

It's so true, we spend up all our energy on our ex's and forget what great people we really are! We only feel great when they tell us we are great and we shouldn't do that to ourselves. We forget that really...we are indeed happy, outgoing, wonderful people!

 

Under all that misery (due to the breakup) we are awesome individuals. I feel really good about myself now.

 

Tomorrow is my birthday (so in less than 3 hours) and my ex is coming to see me for the entire day and spending the night here for the first time since 2 months ago. So all day today I felt anxious, nervous, depressed and focused on my ex. Tormenting thoughts like "What if I mess up when he comes over....He will be here for almost 24 hours. What if I say something stupid. What if I do something stupid."

 

I feel so much better after reading this post. Tomorrow I'm gonna have tons of fun because I am a great person! Thanks adviceseeker!

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Then he started getting into just life in general, and how sometimes bad things happen (loss of his parents) and how even though at the time it can be devastating, it can also impact your life in positive ways too.

 

I do believe it does, especially at a young age. My mom died when I was 11 and after that I always felt kind of out of synch with people my own age, even friends I'd known for years. I had to take care of myself in a lot of ways and had to be more responsible for myself. My dad was always working late and not home a lot so I had to make food for myself, plan my time for homework, etc. That was a hard thing to do on it's own without having to deal with the loss of my mother. But I'm way more responsible and organized now. It probably impacted areas of my life that I'm not even aware of.

 

 

 

Then he told me something I had already been thinking about before, that sometimes in a relationship we depend on the other person to make us happy when that's our job. It's weird because when my ex broke up with me he told me he was unhappy, and I remember thinking...Why? I loved him and cared about him, I was so happy. I had even wrote to him in an email once that he was responsible for his own happiness, not me. The guy told me that he thought I was really friendly too, and it just reminded me that I am a really happy person...so why do I have to let this affect me so much? It was his decision to break up, and maybe something positive will come out of this someday who knows.?

 

My ex sort of said the same thing but it wasn't that he wasn't happy, he said he was lost. I 100% believe that happiness comes from within. You need to be happy with yourself and your accomplishments to be happy with someone else. My ex was always down because he didn't know what he wanted to do (career-wise). I'm like you, a happy person, always joking around, trying to enjoy myself. With my ex though, his negative attitude just dragged me down. It made me feel bummed out and like I was somehow not making him happy. I did everything I possibly could for him and he made me feel like it wasn't enough and like I was responsible for how he felt.

 

Now don't get me wrong, your SO can make your life better or worse. But if they are what's making it good, that newness will wear off and that feeling of unhappiness (with yourself) will resurface.

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If this helps...

 

I dated a girl for some years, who cheated on me with my friend. I sat at home and one day months later thought what the hell and went up to the place where she worked for a drink. By that point i was over it and offered her a lift home. Then we got back together, ok, it broke up again but anyway...because i was at a loss after that relationship i took a job in a club as a dj. I also worked during the day there helping out, and for going for my lunch daily ended up dating the girl who worked in the shop. We broke up, then i met another girl (the BEST one!) one night, but something about her got me and i wanted to ask her out. but having no idea who she was given we only spoke when she requested a tune... andway, some months later, im browsing my ex (the shopworkers) page and spot this girl from the club, asked my ex for her number and things worked out (until recently..)

 

Fate? Who knows. Did things happen for a reason, maybe, but all i'm saying is it's like this big long journey, so oddly if that girl hadnt have cheated on me and made me take the club job all those years ago i'd never had had the best 3 years recently....

 

 

something to think about

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The strangest thing happened yesterday. I have about 1200 songs on my Ipod. I put it on random play, said in my mind, "To the highest, Dear God help me hear a song that will help me deal with not being with him." Out of all the songs, the one that came on was the song I walked down the aisle to when we got married. Then, the next one after that was a recording we made together of a song Meditation, "I will wait for you... 'til the sun falls down from the sky... for what else can I do." It was uncanny. That is actually the attitude I've had. Later in the day, however, I found out the woman he's been seeing has been part of his life for a year and half! We've been apart 2. On a positive note, their honeymoon period will be ending about now. However, I have decided to do all in my power to move on now. Bought some adorable new outfits for going out at night, & to pump up my ego by day, made plans for the weekend. One things for sure, if it won't kill you it will make you stronger. I have never felt so strong in my life.

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