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Has his feelings changed...?


december_x

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I apologize this is so long, But I really need your help!

 

 

So I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, we do love each other.

 

At the beginning of our relationship we were COMPLETELY affectionate: Kissing all the time, and he would always initiate sex. We were doing it numerous times a weekend.

 

But several months ago, I noticed he started kissing me and showing affection less and less... I brought it up a few times and he'd apologize and then show tons of affection for the next few days.

 

Then a bit after that, I noticed he quit initiating sex as well. (His reason: He was afraid I didn't want to cause I "never initiated" and he told me to start initiating it)

So one day, I finally did try... initiating it and he stopped me and said he was too tired. You could say that scared me from trying again.

 

We haven't had sex in nearly ?two? months. I'm afraid he doesn't like doing it with me anymore. Or it quit feeling good.... I don't know whats going on. He'll always promise me and be like "I know I said we'd do it last week. But tonight I mean it. We're gonna do it all night tonight" but we never do. False promises?

 

I dunno, I need advice. =X

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Time for a serious chat with him. I don't think his feelings for you have changed but his attitude towards the relationship certainly has, he got too comfortable in this relationship. Have a serious chat with him, convey your concerns and see if the two of you can come up with an appropriate solution.

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I think he is maybe having some psychological issue. Maybe something happened once when you were doing it, and it stuck in his mind, guys are like that. It can take a lot of work to get the guy to feel ready to back to the source of his issue.

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Examine what is going on also. Is he working a lot? Have things like that changed? If so, cut the guy some slack. Also, numerous times a weekend once you get passed the initial excitement could be a lot. Heck - my boyfriend and I are very passionate and we just can't really manage more than twice a weekend. Okay - we do more over the course of the weekend - massages, naked holding eachother, etc, but as far as orgasms - no more than twice. sometimes once if we have a lot of family events to go to but there is always closeness. Don't focus on quantity - focus on quality. No one an keep it up that fervently for that long.

 

Also - has your relationship changed - do you argue or is there some tension?

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I've tried talking to him, I guess.

I really don't know what to say.

 

He doesn't have a job. And there isn't any tension, We have small little disagreements about stupid things that we don't even remember the next day, but that's about it.

 

I'm not saying I want to go back to having sex all the time. But just once every once in a while would be more than enough.

 

 

Also, he'll still ask me to.... play with him. But he doesn't do anything in return, and like I stated before, we don't do anything more anymore.

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I've tried talking to him, I guess.

I really don't know what to say.

 

 

I'm not saying I want to go back to having sex all the time. But just once every once in a while would be more than enough.

 

 

Also, he'll still ask me to.... play with him. But he doesn't do anything in return, and like I stated before, we don't do anything more anymore.

 

You do know what to say. Talk to him what you're talking to us about. Talk to him about your concerns about his unwillingness to do anything in return for you, tell him that you want to have sex every once in a while...

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I've tried talking to him, I guess.

I really don't know what to say.

 

He doesn't have a job. And there isn't any tension, We have small little disagreements about stupid things that we don't even remember the next day, but that's about it.

 

I'm not saying I want to go back to having sex all the time. But just once every once in a while would be more than enough.

 

 

Also, he'll still ask me to.... play with him. But he doesn't do anything in return, and like I stated before, we don't do anything more anymore.

 

Does he not have a job because he is independently wealthy? Or is he unemployed? If he is unemployed, that can be stressful. The new relationship just distracted him from those feelings for a bit. Also, could it be that things got too close to fast and he is pulling back? If you are not happy, you shouldn't be in this - but also, if you are worried about all this, your worry translates to tension and he could react to that.

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I completely agree with Salicia. You know exactly what to tell him. Maybe the same thoughts are running through his head as the ones that are running through yours. While there may be a bigger issue at hand, it might just come down to an error in communication and why make it into a bigger deal than is necessary before you at least talk candidly?

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I've tried talking to him, I guess.

I really don't know what to say.

 

He doesn't have a job. And there isn't any tension, We have small little disagreements about stupid things that we don't even remember the next day, but that's about it.

 

I'm not saying I want to go back to having sex all the time. But just once every once in a while would be more than enough.

 

 

Also, he'll still ask me to.... play with him. But he doesn't do anything in return, and like I stated before, we don't do anything more anymore.

 

Bingo.

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Ps, hexaemeron

 

What do you mean by that, exactly?

 

 

 

I'm sorry everyone! I should have mentioned this earlier and I apologize completely. But we're still in school, so a full time job wouldn't be available right now for either of us. Soyeah =X

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Oh! And I just remembered =X

A couple weeks I tried talking to him about this, and his reason for not having sex anymore is because he forgets.

 

 

So I'm asking the guys; Is this a legit reason? Have you ever forgotten? From a males perspective, do you think he's telling the truth?

 

And ladies; Has your guy ever said this to you? If so, was he being honest?

 

=X

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Oh! And I just remembered =X

A couple weeks I tried talking to him about this, and his reason for not having sex anymore is because he forgets.

 

 

So I'm asking the guys; Is this a legit reason? Have you ever forgotten? From a males perspective, do you think he's telling the truth?

 

And ladies; Has your guy ever said this to you? If so, was he being honest?

 

=X

 

Where is there a man that forgets to have sex??

 

 

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Ummm...Did you say you "play" with him and he does nothing for you? Does he finish? I don't know if everyone will agree, but to me that is entirely different than not wanting sex at all.

 

That is downright selfish. If my husband asks me to do something for him, or if I initiate "play" for him, he always tries to do something for me back.

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