brazilgirl21 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Ammy - You know what I should think? That we can die tomorrow, I can catch a disease tomorrow, or be hitten by a car. I can't live worrying. Seriously, I think it's stupid to even get tested. I'll just go with the flow now and NEVER have unprotected sex again. I know I'm not the type of person that can handle casual relationships anyways. Going to dinner with him on thursday, wonder if I should ask if he had unprotected sex with other people lately? I got to therapy for GAD and take medication for it =] Might try CBT sometime though. I have heard great things about it. CoCo - I think you shouldn't confront him anymore. I mean, let him show you what he wants now. Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Ammy - You know what I should think? That we can die tomorrow, I can catch a disease tomorrow, or be hitten by a car. I can't live worrying. QUOTE] Good attitude, that is exactly the sort of challenging you need to do. There is no certainty in life, anything can go wrong at any time to any one, worrying will not stop this! Try CBT if you can, even read a book on CBT for GAD... it's the most effective treatment. As for going out with him - why are you seeing him Thurs? You could ask him if you feel comfortable - it may help to allay your concerns about the unprotected sex, and yes, it's best not to put yourself in that situation again. Anxiety or no anxiety, it is a risky situation. That said, I am sure you will be fine! Ammy Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 so don't respond? I think not responding is playing games. If you like him and want to explore whether there is a possibility, continue to be upfront. You have nothing to lose. Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Just be honest with him. Write him a text/email/whatever and tell him that you're interested in seeing him again but you're frustrated with the fact that it hasn't happened yet and you're wondering if it's ever going to happen because if not, you'd like to move on. I'm sure you'll get the feed back you're looking for. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Ammy - thanks sweety. Just got an infraction for being off-topic. It was really nice to get to know you better! I have a thread called "dating journal" that explains the situation with this guy. If you want, you can read the last posts there! Again, CoCo - I'm very sorry! Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Ammy - thanks sweety. Just got an infraction for being off-topic. It was really nice to get to know you better! I have a thread called "dating journal" that explains the situation with this guy. If you want, you can read the last posts there! Again, CoCo - I'm very sorry! Coco - what did you do???? Suspense is killing me!! Brazil - no probs, I will check out your thread, and if you ever have any questions re: anxiety etc, feel free to PM me. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 CoCo! Tell us what happened noww! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 Oh lol. I texted him "Well I'm looking to develop a relationship not a friendship and I can't tell if we are on the same page because we haven't made anymore plans" when I sent that message I regretted it because the way I worded might come accross as I want a relationship with him which I don't! I just want to date to see where it goes...this is hard lol. Oh well I kinda don't care if he takes it the wrong way. haha Atleast I tried! Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Oh lol. I texted him "Well I'm looking to develop a relationship not a friendship and I can't tell if we are on the same page because we haven't made anymore plans" when I sent that message I regretted it because the way I worded might come accross as I want a relationship with him which I don't! I just want to date to see where it goes...this is hard lol. Oh well I kinda don't care if he takes it the wrong way. haha Atleast I tried! No, it's fine. If he overanalysed it to mean you want a relationship after 1 date, then he is dumb! It's clear and forward and to the point - this is the best way to communicate, it cuts out the mixed messages and "what ifs". Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 omg this guy is a complete idiot...wow...He texted back "lol" how do I always pick the winners? Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 omg this guy is a complete idiot...wow...He texted back "lol" how do I always pick the winners? Okay leave it now then. He is being a loser.. You need some a whole lot more mature than that. He knows where you stand and he chose to act stupidly. IF he does ever text again, it better be to ask you out, otherwise you should just ignore him. IDIOTIC man!! Sorry Coco, I pick em frequently too! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 Its okay at least I know for sure that he's an idiot now. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Girls - SO DO I!! CoCo - I find confronting guys to be a bad idea. Just leave them next time. Ammy - I pmed you! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 I'm glad I confronted him, better this way for me. Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I'm glad I confronted him, better this way for me. Yep, now you know for sure he is an idiot.... NEXT! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 Okay he said "LOL I understand, we will work on it" I guess his texts got messed up. BUT still lame! lol Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Okay he said "LOL I understand, we will work on it" I guess his texts got messed up. BUT still lame! lol Yes still lame "we will work on it"??? Why not just do SOMETHING NOW?!! Leave it now, don't reply, don't respond... and if he asks you out with concrete plans, then you can reconsider. Ammy Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 BTW - The 3 of us are completely gorgeous. What is wrong with these man?? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 I don't know but for some reason I feel great right now, like I kinda stood up for myself for once instead of sitting around wondering and wasting my thoughts. lol Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I don't know but for some reason I feel great right now, like I kinda stood up for myself for once instead of sitting around wondering and wasting my thoughts. lol Yep, it's kinda invigorating taking some of the power back.. and that is what you did. Before you had no control over the situation, you just had to sit around waiting and now you have stood up for yourself and taken control back. Way better way to handle it IMO than sitting and waiting and wondering. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 Yeah this was a great learning experience, I haven't really dated much because I have been in a relationship for YEARS! lol Link to comment
hers Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 I don't know but for some reason I feel great right now, like I kinda stood up for myself for once instead of sitting around wondering and wasting my thoughts. lol very proud of you. remember though that you may have caught him off guard with your assertiveness. so maybe he just needs a little time to process it all. don't throw it all out yet but keep your options open for sure! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 very proud of you. remember though that you may have caught him off guard with your assertiveness. so maybe he just needs a little time to process it all. don't throw it all out yet but keep your options open for sure! yeah thats true, I'm just going to remain open. Link to comment
journeynow Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 If you don't want him to text, why text? Maybe you are giving a mixed message about that? Sounds like you are working it out, but in retrospect, how about one text saying "Call me if you want to go out. I'm not interested in texting." And then don't respond to his texts. Link to comment
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