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I was afraid of this


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I crashed today...caught the flu...stayed home from work..yesterday I felt like I had let go and was moving on...today I am not exactly back to square one, but obsessing like a mo-fo..Even thought about picking up the phone....but stopped myself...one day on top of the world...then back to the gutter....

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How long has it been since the break up?

And i see that you've been in the forum for quiet a while, so you know that there is nothing to do about it, the more time pass by, you have more good days than bad days, but every once in a while you will have a bad day, but remember one thing that after having a bad day or two, you will have a couple of good days, so your mission is to bear the bad day on your shoulder somehow, and once this day is finish, you are expected to get a couple of good days where you feel at the top of the world.

So just hold on there dude, dont do anything stupid, we are all here to suppose you, and im pretty sure that by writing here you already feel somewhat better, so whenever you have a bad day try to take out your frustration not by doing something stupid like contacting your ex, but writing here and talking to people, it always helps, contacting your ex would be a huge mistake that you will regreat afterwards and it will make you feel much worst.

Cheers dude, we are all here for you

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Yea agree with life4living, this is very common. I have posted on here these kind of things like you posted yesterday (a victory post) before only to be rock bottom day after. It's a lengthy process, even for the mentally and emotionally well adjusted. There is a moment when you say it and you realise you really mean it though, you wake up next day and you still feel it.. I'm there now and it's good. Took about 6/7 months. Don't be hard on yourself Bungalo, you are doing well, it's not a linear process that's for sure. The fact that you posted what you did yesterday is a good sign even if you feel slightly in the doldrums today. As life4living said '2 steps forward 1 back', it's so true.

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Thanks all. It's about 4 months post breakup...and I'm back to reconciliation fantasies...Five years is a looooooong time to be together...it's just staggering how many memories and connections to her I have..not to mention the fact that she lives right down the street from me.....gotta stay strong...

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I don't want to forget. I just want to heal so I can be strong enough to

see or talk to her without falling apart or indifferent enough to not care. I know it takes time. Hell, it took me damn near a year to get over an 8 week rel/ship before I met my current ex....](*,)

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You'll never forget her. Doesn't work like that. She will always be part of you. And maybe you will reconnect one day and maybe you will get to the stage where you are just tired of it all, who knows.. But you will feel better, stronger, and content. Maybe not yet. You're a one in a hundred guy Bungalo, you have never cheated (afaik), seem pretty intelligent, caring and generous, certainly not a dime a dozen. Doesn't make it easier I know but the future will be peachy once you can see it but there is no way to accelerate that realisation. I read it a thousand times when healing but was sore and kept allowing myself to think she would come back a la Hollywood, sorry and sincere, she made the biggest mistake of her life and snapped out of it. And then I thought, well do I need her drama and issues? Maybe not.. wow. And I am getting of the hole now, she's probably still in it. Took a while to get out, go through again? Hell no!

 

One in a hundred sounds like a paltry amount but it's really not at all. It's a made up stat but I'm willing to think it's fairly accurate. Your problem is that you care too much, is that really a problem? Not for most. It's not like you are a chronic glue sniffer or a woman beater (afaik). Don't forget the bungalo positives.

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Thanks Hobbes....I think a big problem is she has big problems with emotional availability...and it is easy to get hooked on this..the hot and cold...I am too devoted..maybe I need to be a bastard and show her some anger...I don't think I was too big of a puppy dog or anything...but she knew I wouldn't be the one to walk. What tore it for us was when i pressed for a comittment after 5 years...I know I pressured her...but I wouldn't have talked about it had we not discussed it several months earlier.....so who knows. Maybe she will burn out on GIGS...maybe not...but I still love her 100%

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Five years is hard? Well, the good news is you didn't make it six or seven or eight...I'm recovering from a 25 year marriage. It's hell.

 

And it's OK to still love her. You just have to stay away and wish her good things. The other day somebody said as soon as they wished their ex love, peace, and happiness and meant it, she was back.

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Thanks Autumn...25 years is unfathomable..my other 2 LTR were 8 years and 11 years (off and on)...I do wish her love and peace and happiness...although I think when the hurt sinks in, energetically it trumps these wishes and I feel like a shattered victim.

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Thanks Autumn...25 years is unfathomable..my other 2 LTR were 8 years and 11 years (off and on)...I do wish her love and peace and happiness...although I think when the hurt sinks in, energetically it trumps these wishes and I feel like a shattered victim.

 

aw bungalo....you know that this will pass...you know it will. your head and soul is wanting to move forward, yet that heart is pining again. Wallow for a cpl of days, all you can do is jus go with the flow and then you will wake up and things will look brighter again. When you feel that, you can say "ex, I let you go, go in peace" but whilst youre hurting yes definitely its abit harder to wish them all the best while your feelings are swimming in some cess pit...thats jus natural...its part of being human, and we sometimes have to accept human traits over our spiritual ones

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