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Need some input.


Distant

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Ok, so my girlfriend is pregnant. Lately she is a totally different person. Her family tells me how excited she is to be having a baby along with her. BUT, yes a very big BUT, she treats me like crap. I cant get a hug, a kiss, a hi good morning or screw you. Anytime I talk to her she tells me I am just annoying her, anytime I send her a text or call her I get the attitude of how dare I contact her. When we sleep in bed (queen size) I am only allowed to have like 10 inches to sleep, she sprawls out all over the bed. Anytime I ask her to move over a bit I get hit. Its like she is taking out her anger on me. I am working 5 am to 11pm shifts half the time. Pulling major overtime. She doesnt appreciate what I do for her.

 

Now I know she is pregnant and her hormmones are all screwed up. She was such a nice sweet person before she got pregnant. Any idea about how to go about these things.

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About 4 months. I know its early and all but I always used condoms and the one time it breaks I spew and knowing my luck, she got pregnant. We were great for each other. I knew her for over 5 months before we started dating. I told her if she wanted to she could abort and all and she decided to keep it.

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She's pregnant, shmegnant. Having a bun in the oven is no excuse to hit you and verbally abuse you. Come on! It's just a baby. Thousands of women manage to have them without giving their partners something to worry about on advice forums.

 

I think you need to sit down and have a serious chat with her. Tell her you understand she feels terrible right now and that the next few months are going to be difficult, but you want to be working with her, not fighting against her attitude. Hopefully if you have an adult discussion about this and show her how excluded and hurt you feel by her actions, she might grow up and stop treating you like crap.

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She may be pregnant and her hormones out of wack BUT that is no excuse for her to treat you that way.

 

You need to have a very serious talk with her about it. And dont let 'waterworks' try to get you either.

 

Talk to her now. You dont want this behaviour of her's continuing after the baby is born.

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You and your girlfriend need to support each other during trying times, not complicate things for each other.

 

Sounds like you're doing what you can to be a supportive partner. It's time she does the same.

 

Do you attend pre-natal doctor appointments with her? Perhaps you should mention the change in her personality to the doctor. While there are no "magic pills," perhaps she could benefit from an antidepressant (many are safe for use during pregnancy) or a change in eating and fitness habits.

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I had a colleague who went through the same thing when his gf was pregnant, she treated him so terrible he showed up to work every day miserable. I never did find out what happened to the future of that relationship but I felt bad for him.

 

anyways, I don't know anything about being pregnant as I've never had a child myself, but i think you need to talk to her about how you are feeling and how she is treating you. Hopefully she will make an effort to change and you two will get better.

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Thank you everyone for the advice. I am gonna talk to her this week about it and put my foot down that I am tired of this. If it dont work then I will stay at my parents for a week and maybe that will straighten her chain when she realizes i am not there to be a doormat and someone to just take anger out on.

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Ok so I just got off the phone with my girlfriend. Her mother interupted and was like "She needs to go to bed and I can hear you all the way upstairs with my door closed (girlfriend had me on speakerphone). I dont care what your fighting about you dont need to scream blah blah blah". I did not scream. The people sittin here next to me know I didnt scream. Its called loud speakerphone. So anyways I told her i dont appreciate being told to dealt with it and all that crap. I told her I am tired of being called annoying for even breathing wrong. UGHHH It is so much to type and I am so fumin mad because I explained it to her nice and slow.

 

What p-s me off is her mom is like you need to find another time to talk to her about it. I am like when, when I leave for work at 2pm she is still asleep and when I get home at 1130 she is in bed. She wont listen when she is going to sleep. UGHH I can just put my fist through the wall. I try and try and try and try to talk to her and I get nowhere. It is like talking to a wall. Ugh, I am so fed up and angry and at the same time I try and try and TRY so hard to provide for her. It ticks me off. I have been pulling long shifts at work to make money to start saving up for a car seat and crib and diapers and this and that. I am better off putting money into my 2008 Pontiac Grand Prix. Atleast the car would appreciate my hard efforts.

 

It angers me when her whole family is like DEAL WITH IT she is pregnant suck it up blah blah blah. Well a baby is a partner thing. I go to work and work my butt off. I am running on no sleep because the crazy overtime, not to mention dealing with her dramatic crap. You would think a 1st baby is a joyous time, for me its like I want to put a gun to my head and blow my brains out. I am so stressed. I dont get ay appreciation for the crap i do to her. I explained that to her and I got nowhere. She is like I am not gonna bend backwards to suit your little needs and I am like all I would like is a little thank you everyonce and a while. Then she pushed me to far and I was like well maybe If you werent a b**** to me 90% of the time maybe we wouldnt be having this argument. She was like I am not a b***** to you and I am like bull. UGHHHH.

 

I dont say I love you much, like maybe once every 2 days. And I said it tonight and shes like you say it to much its lost its meaning. That hurt me cause I am sorry but I say it when It is nessecary. I say it cause I do love the girl. She was nice and all. She aint who I know. I pray to god that when the baby is born she goes back to normal. I really am at my whits end.

 

I dont know what to do. I hate the fact that when I get so frustrated that i end up having tears come down my cheek. Oh well.

 

](*,)

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I agree that you can be a good father to this child without being with the mother. My major concern is whether this woman will be a good mother with the personality and character that she has and her family seem no better.

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Today has been weird. I washed my car and tore down a wall in the garage with my mother. My girlfriend seems to be in a good mood. She said she is sorry for how she is acting and wants to work things out. I am not sure if she will go through with it or not.

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