Question for girls that have bfs

[Cognitive_Canine]

Also, I wonder if, when you think of flirting, you're thinking of something with more dishonesty/mischief and intent than what I consider flirting? To me there is a division between flirting with someone and coming on to someone. When I say flirting, I don't mean batting eyelashes, squeezing boobs together to show off cleavage, and giggling obnoxiously at everything a guy says. Flirting to me is more friendly than anything.

 

Yes, it's about a tone of voice and a niceness. I flirt with girls sometimes. It doesn't show interest, it's more of a light conversation than anything.

[FoxMulder]

Again, if you're insecure, yeah, of course this will bother you. But if you trust your partner, then... what's the issue?

 

If the girl just talked or looked at a guy it would not bother me at all... however if she flirted with a guy, then it would bother me.

[hexaemeron]

If the girl just talked or looked at a guy it would not bother me at all... however if she flirted with a guy, then it would bother me.

 

Okay, what do you consider flirting, and why would it bother you?

[marco76uk]

Interesting how the girls who say they flirt consider how it might affect their boyfriend, but don't seem to consider how it might affect the person they're flirting with. If that person is long-term single and maybe insecure, and especially if they don't know the girl has a boyfriend, meaningless flirting is not harmless, it can cause a lot of damage...

[hexaemeron]

Interesting how the girls who say they flirt consider how it might affect their boyfriend, but don't seem to consider how it might affect the person they're flirting with. If that person is long-term single and maybe insecure, and especially if they don't know the girl has a boyfriend, meaningless flirting is not harmless, it can cause a lot of damage...

 

Well, that's easy to solve. Don't be insecure.

[greywolf]

Interesting how the girls who say they flirt consider how it might affect their boyfriend, but don't seem to consider how it might affect the person they're flirting with. If that person is long-term single and maybe insecure, and especially if they don't know the girl has a boyfriend, meaningless flirting is not harmless, it can cause a lot of damage...

 

How can it cause a lot of damage to someone that doesn't even know you?

[FoxMulder]

Okay, what do you consider flirting, and why would it bother you?

 

I consider it flirting when you try to get a guys attention by searching eye contact, winking, casual touching and so on.

 

It would bother me because there is no reason at all to flirt with other guys if you are already in a relationship. You flirt to show intrest and get the guys attention and a girl that is taken should not be doing that.

 

Why should a girl that already has a boyfriend flirt with other guys?

[hexaemeron]

I consider it flirting when you try to get a guys attention by searching eye contact, winking, casual touching and so on.

 

It would bother me because there is no reason at all to flirt with other guys if you are already in a relationship. You flirt to show intrest and get the guys attention and a girl that is taken should not be doing that.

 

Why should a girl that already has a boyfriend flirt with other guys?

 

Sounds like you've never been in a long-term relationship. They get BORING. The sex stagnates. You basically just become good friends/roommates a lot of the time. Flirting (respectfully, in moderation, of course) is perfectly natural and normal to remember you're not just a wife or a mother or a husband or a father, but an attractive fun person.

 

Besides, it's pretty dangerous to expect one person to prop up your self-worth for 90 years or so.

[FoxMulder]

How can it cause a lot of damage to someone that doesn't even know you?

 

If a girl that was already taken started flirting with an insecure guy and he sees it and approaches her... and then he gets shot down and humiliated when the girl tells him she already has a boyfriend....

[hexaemeron]

If a girl that was already taken started flirting with an insecure guy and he sees it and approaches her... and then he gets shot down and humiliated when the girl tells him she already has a boyfriend....

 

So... it's her fault he's insecure? Should we not talk to anyone for fear that they're somehow damaged and we don't want to make it worse?

[FoxMulder]

Sounds like you've never been in a long-term relationship. They get BORING. The sex stagnates. You basically just become good friends/roommates a lot of the time. Flirting (respectfully, in moderation, of course) is perfectly natural and normal to remember you're not just a wife or a mother or a husband or a father, but an attractive fun person.

 

Besides, it's pretty dangerous to expect one person to prop up your self-worth for 90 years or so.

 

Ok so if I'm in a relationship and I start to think it becomes boring I could just hit the bar and start chatting with other girls... I seriously doubt any girl would approve that her boyfriend did something like that.

[hexaemeron]

Ok so if I'm in a relationship and I start to think it becomes boring I could just hit the bar and start chatting with other girls... I seriously doubt any girl would approve that her boyfriend did something like that.

 

Well... again, if you're out with a group of friends, and some of those groups of friends are girls, are you going to ignore them if one of them talks to you?

 

If you're somewhere and a woman asks you a question or just tries to have a conversation with you, are you going to ignore her?

 

It works both ways. The ladies here have overhwelmingly said they do it. So, if that's true, so can the guys. It's quid pro quo.

[FoxMulder]

So... it's her fault he's insecure? Should we not talk to anyone for fear that they're somehow damaged and we don't want to make it worse?

 

I was just using an example. The point is, it is NOT harmless to flirt with other guys if you are already taken. It might upset the boyfriend and then it might also upset all those guys who takes up the courage to approach the girl if he sees that she is flirting with him only to get rejected and humiliated.

[FoxMulder]

Well... again, if you're out with a group of friends, and some of those groups of friends are girls, are you going to ignore them if one of them talks to you?

 

If you're somewhere and a woman asks you a question or just tries to have a conversation with you, are you going to ignore her?

 

It works both ways. The ladies here have overhwelmingly said they do it. So, if that's true, so can the guys. It's quid pro quo.

 

Again, talking is not the same as flirting. You are over exagerating what I have said.

 

Maybe chatting was the wrong word to use I suppose... What if I winked at a girl several times and tryed to seek her attention? Lets say I intentionally went to a bar to chat with other ladys? If I had a girl and she did something like that I would be pretty upset.

[hexaemeron]

Again, talking is not the same as flirting. You are over exagerating what I have said.

 

Maybe chatting was the wrong word to use I suppose... What if I winked at a girl several times and tryed to seek her attention? Lets say I intentionally went to a bar to chat with other ladys?

 

Well, I realize I'm usually the standing-alone cheese in situations like this. Frankly, I wouldn't care what my partner did as long as he was safe, smart and happy, be it flirting or sex. It's no reflection on any deficiency on my part, and I want my partner to be as happy as possible.

 

Besides, harmless flirting is harmless. There's only one reason people get upset about that. Insecurity.

[marco76uk]

How can it cause a lot of damage to someone that doesn't even know you?

 

If you know you aren't going to have a physical relationship with someone, why flirt with them? What's wrong with just being friendly?

 

Presumably because you think that person will make more effort to entertain you if they think there might be something on offer.

 

If someone has to flirt for people to pay attention to them, they can't be very interesting.

[greywolf]

If you know you aren't going to have a physical relationship with someone, why flirt with them? What's wrong with just being friendly?

 

Presumably because you think that person will make more effort to entertain you if they think there might be something on offer.

 

If someone has to flirt for people to pay attention to them, they can't be very interesting.

 

If I'm not going to have a relationship with somebody, should I bother with looking nice? If I'm not going to have a friendship with somebody, should I bother with being friendly?

 

I think most people just assume that a lot of people flirt for fun. If a guy tries to flirt with me it doesn't go through my head that he's trying to get into a relationship with me. It's just a playful and teasing communication style.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If I'm not going to have a relationship with somebody, should I bother with looking nice? If I'm not going to have a friendship with somebody, should I bother with being friendly?

 

I think most people just assume that a lot of people flirt for fun. If a guy tries to flirt with me it doesn't go through my head that he's trying to get into a relationship with me. It's just a playful and teasing communication style.

 

That's my line of thinking. I'm flirting with them, not coming onto them.

 

Typically the guys that are confident enough to flirt back don't fall for me. It's also the guys that mistake my niceness for interest.

[marco76uk]

That's my line of thinking. I'm flirting with them, not coming onto them.

 

Typically the guys that are confident enough to flirt back don't fall for me. It's also the guys that mistake my niceness for interest.

 

Ok, can I press you on what the difference is between flirting with them and coming onto them?

 

Indeed, I don't take a bit of light flirting from people who've just met me for definite interest. But sometimes those people go on to press me to ask them out, but when I do they just make excuses.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Ok, can I press you on what the difference is between flirting with them and coming onto them?

 

Indeed, I don't take a bit of light flirting from people who've just met me for definite interest. But sometimes those people go on to press me to ask them out, but when I do they just make excuses.

 

That's kind of hard to explain over internet. It's really a ton of voice. Being completely giggly and inane. It's stupid but it's fun. It's how I talk when I'm a bit tipsy.

 

Boys or girls, I flirt whenever I'm in the mood with anyone. I have guy friends that only talk in flirting voice. I could tell they weren't interested in me but they were tons of fun to talk to.

[marco76uk]

I think we're roughly on the same wavelength. Being giggly and inane when a bit tipsy - no problem.

 

But I have had several girls who have gone way beyond that, then rejected. What is annoying is that in that situation they will never be grown-up and say "ok, I was attracted to you, but for some reason - either your fault or mine - I've decided against it". They just backpedal and say "I didn't mean anything by my behaviour - it's all your fault for getting the wrong idea".

[_Asti_]

Really..no no and no. I have no desire to flirt with other guys, or be close or do anything of that nature with other men. I just feel its disrespectful in my books. But thats me. I generally have no interest in the opposite sex, even for a simple friendship. [aside from friend's partners/husbands]

[JusticeLaw9]

I would say that I'm about an average flirt; I don't do it all that often, but sometimes I do like to have a little fun. As long as its friendly, what's the harm in it? In a relationship though, I wouldn't take it there.

[angela89]

Flirting is a very natural thing and people do it without actually realizing it. Its ok to flirt, just keep it innocent, and preferably when your bf/gf isn't around.

[abitbroken]

I don't flirt. I truly only have eyes for my boyfriend. And before I met him/outside of a relationship I am not naturally flirty. But I flirt like crazy with my boyfriend.