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Update...i moved back home


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Hi since my last thread I have moved back home. It has been hard and It was very emotional for me and my ex. He started crying and told me he loves me. I have been back home for about 2 months now and the first month everything was fine, he was still keeping in contact and telling me he loves and misses me but the past few weeks it has been that has been making all the ffort to keep in touch and he seems to be goin out every weekend and when I look on his page on a certain social networking site there is always pics of him with his arm round different girls but he says he isnt dating. I'm confused and wish I knew what to do and if he still has the same feelings for me.

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It sounds like he is trying to get over you. If he cried and said he loved you before you moved, it sounds like it was a hard time for him. Then during month 1, he sounds like he still wanted you in his life. Maybe he's now realizing you are far away and he's trying to get over you.

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I'm sorry for the situation you are in now, friend. It sounds very difficult, and I am sure it feels bleak. But you have gotten yourself out of a bad situation and you just have to keep trudging, a little farther, a little faster, to reach the life you want - the one you deserve.

 

It does indeed sound like he has either moved on - or is showing his true colors, and flitting about between other women and other such merry events, which is contradictory if he is still claiming to be holding out a broken heart to you to mend.

 

Keep working to separate yourself from this man, and to put your concerns squarely and gently on yourself, where it belongs. You have gotten a little momentum, moving away, coming back home, trying to gain distance and perspective. Do not allow yourself to slip back several steps now on sheer, unsupported speculation about what might be going through his head. You've seen what is going on in his life, on his social networking sites. Mark this chapter finished in your book, and put it away. Start a new chapter, fresh and focused on you!

 

Do not look at his pages anymore. Do not speak to or of him, as best as you can help it. Do not think on him, and if you find yourself doing such, switch your attention to more worthwhile subjects - like you.

 

Best of luck. You can get through this!

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Well he text me today after i confornted him about all the girls on his profile and he basically said we are not gona get back together and to stop trying to stop him living his life! This is a far cry from the man who just 2 weeks ago was telling me he loves and misses me and might want to give things another go after he comes to visit me! He said that he just needed time away from girls as his head is messed up which i stupidly believed and now hes obv lookin for someone else and has forgot about me?! I offered to call him once he has got home from work to give him time to get in and he said to call me while he was driving home from work instead which makes me think that he is meeting up with one of the girls after work! Im so angry and upset.Cant believe he fooled me again!

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Well we are definitely not ever getting back together now. I spoke to him last night and he said that we can stay friends but we wont be getting back together. He also admitted that he has been on a couple of dates and that he does want another girlfriend but he doesnt want to go back, he wants someone new that he has no history with. I'm going to stay friends with him as he has always been there as a friend and has been good to me helping me out, hes like a best friend but after 3 years of being split up and being in the mindset that we are going to get back together I dont know how to change my thinking and fully move on. Any help please? Thanks.

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Oh and hes just told me is actually seeing someone else. It makes the whole situation more real, I am so upset. This is obviously the reason why he has changed his mind about us all of a sudden. I just dont know where to start getting over this. I am trying not to look at his page and the girl who he is seeing but I find myself comparing myself to her and I just feel so carp about myself and that Im just not good enough for him. Its just like a big kick in the teeth! How to get over this? Would really appreciate some advice. I need some sort of action plan to sort my head and myself out. Thanks.

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1. forgive yourself for being caught up in this mess-you didn't do this to yourself he did

2. forigive him

3. make yourself better-improve your self esteem

 

once you do those three--believe me honey, you will be over this douche.

4. make a list of qualities you want in a man

5. start dating around

6. find a great man

7. fall in love

8. live happily ever after and let this looser continue playing his games!

 

there you go! i know its not easy. but you have got to accept that this happened to you. my first boyfriend was a player so i have delt with this. i will never date a player again...i put my men through boot camp before it becomes official. hehe

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I guess I can understand where he is coming from - if the two of you are broken up and have been for some time, then it's not your place anymore to hassle him about who he's seeing/dating, pictures on his social profile, etc. I'm sure you are now aware it was a very bad idea to continue having sex with him without a committment. It sounds like you are better off without this guy although it does not seem like it right now. It will take time and patience to get over what you have been through with him. Since you have maintained a sexual relationship with him, with the hopes of getting back together so long, it's like a fresh breakup for you.

 

I would suggest low or no contact and not trying to discuss anything relationship-wise with him when you do speak. He has made it clear that it's not going to happen. It would be in your best interest to not try to be his friend right now, since you are not over him.

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I found out through facebook which wasn't very nice. I asked him that if he was goin to change his status to have the decency to text me n let me know so i didnt have to find out this way. Im so angry. I suspect the girl is a rebound as he only split up with his ex after me 2 months ago and the new girl is 10 years younger than him and very * * * * ty and cheap. He also said that he didnt want a girlfriend as he is going away travelling for a month in the summer and it wouldnt be fair to the gf......another lie! Im actually not even upset that hes got a gf, just the fact that he lied to me n he didnt have the decency to tell me so i had to find out like this!

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