Extreme ups and downs in healing. Night and day opposites normal?

[Anon333]

This seems to be my pattern in healing lately...I am on the third week of no contact with my ex, who left me on New Years eve, and then wanted me back, and then we broke up again to which he was dating someone else within a week...It has been alot to take in and my mind seems to constantly dwell on him with the new girl....Wondering how he could move on so fast, wondering if he misses me in the least, wondering if I will ever hear from him again...But here is the main question of my post that I was hoping maybe people can tell me if this happened to them or it is normal.

 

In the mornings when I wake up and remember he is gone and that I have the day ahead to get through, it all totally hits me like a ton of bricks, I cry in the shower, I feel like crap. I try to gather myself together to go to work and be in public. When I get to work I have a hard time smiling or being social. I am forcing myself to talk to other people and be nice..But as the day goes on and work is ending, I start to look forward to my time alone and getting off work. I begin to feel less frantic about him being gone and more accepting of the situation and not minding being single.

 

So at night I almost am so tired out from fighting these negative thoughts by morning and mid day, that by the end of the day I seem to have a more positive perspective...Its just in the morning when I wake up that I feel this horrible dread and depression and miss him like none other. I know breaking up is a rollercoaster of emotions, but this seems to be a night and day patterned thing. Not really sure what it means...Ive had other break ups where the night time AND morning are just as horrible...Anyone experience this?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yes, this is COMPLETELY normal. I can relate.

 

One moment you'll just be all "I will survive' mentality...working out, getting a new job, hanging with cute new men. And then the next moment I'm sitting in my recliner, crying, and thinking 'what went wrong!?".

[Anon333]

does it seem to happen at a certain time? Mornings are god aweful it seems and then night time rolls around (at least the past couple days) and I am almost okay with everything and feel like it was for the best...Such extreme..If only I could hold onto that feeing....I know if I felt that way all the way it would mean I was healed..But I hate the unpredictable emotions and days...It is like I am a puppet with no control over what comes next...I try so hard to take control and have positive thoughts, but sometimes it really is impossible...

[mgirl]

Yes anon333, i think it's pretty normal... don't worry! I eventually got over the person i felt that way about, so you can too

[Mee-chelle]

It is night time right now and I feel ok. I felt horrible this morning.

[Anon333]

This seems strange to have such extreme thoughts and feelings within a day....To feel like your world is crashing down and you need him and he is gone and you have no control, to night time realizing you are a whole person without him/her and you can get by without them and I actually was starting to feel it was for the best we broke up..But that thought almost is scary to think because it is such extreme difference from the morning and how I have been feeling..Its like which of these feelings are the real ones...?

[tradami]

I thought this was only me, but I am a lot like you. It's a pattern for me aswell. In the mornings, I am terrible. I want to cry, nothing I can think about makes me feel better. I feel hopeless and pointless. I go to school and I feel separated from everyone else. I try to stay social and smiling but I feel as if I cant even face the day. Then I start to feel positive later on in the day. I honestly feel "I don't need her. I can have fun without her. Maybe it really was for the best!" and that normally lasts about an hour or two and then I start spiraling down. It's back and forth.

 

It's like being thrown into the ocean. You're in this constant struggle to stay afloat. But then you get tired. And you start sinking down into the water. (depression) and everything seems hopeless. And then you'...re floating. And you can be happy. Everything is peaceful. But then you fall back into the water again and it starts over again. But every time it happens, you float longer and you dont sink as much.