Setbacks

[Leighton]

In your personal opinions/experiences, what kinds of things set you back in the healing process? Would you say that crying from time to time, or reminiscing on memories are bad for healing?

 

For me, it's:

- Looking at photos or Facebook

- Talking about him

[Jd1983]

I actually think that crying helps you grieve because you're letting out your emotions. There were times in the past, I would cry my eyes out for hours until they were swollen, but after you cry so much - you just stop and take a deep breath and realize you feel a lot better. Of course this isn't the case for other people, but after awhile there's only so much tears that can fall before you say enough is enough.

[easyguy]

In your personal opinions/experiences, what kinds of things set you back in the healing process? Would you say that crying from time to time, or reminiscing on memories are bad for healing?

 

For me, it's:

- Looking at photos or Facebook

- Talking about him

 

Communicating with the ex in any way. I realized today, after the third email exchange with my ex after breaking up 2 weeks ago, I can't talk to her for quite some time. It's just making things worse, even though it may be comforting to some degree.

 

I removed her as a Facebook friend (and her friends that I was friends with, to avoid accidentally reading a comment she posts, even if not related to me) the day we broke up, and knowing that it was better to not have her number anymore, deleted her phone number before leaving her house. Only a few photos of us remain on my computer, but haven't really felt like looking at them. I mean, sure, I cried looking at them last week, but don't want to look at them now.

 

I'd say above all, what sets back the healing process the most is communicating, even just worrying about how your ex is doing. After she replied to today's email, turning me down for a coffee date for next week, I thought, "Okay, I've got to block this person out of my life right now or I will never heal."

[simply]

Sitting around doing nothing and dwelling on it would be the worst thing to do. You have to stay busy and keep your mind preoccupied. Meet new people, do something new and exciting. Avoid old routines that you did with your ex. And yes, facebook is the the worst, delete them first thing. Or delete your profile if you have to.