Jump to content

What does it mean to be healed?


Recommended Posts

This is my first heartbreak, she was not my first girlfriend, but with the others, after a week 2 weeks i would literaly forget them completely and i would have left no feelings for them whatsoever, with this one, its been almost 3 months and im still thinking about her all the time and hurting, just like a heartbreak dictates.

I was just thinking to myself, all of the people here are highly desiring to be healed. Then, i was thinking to myself, by saying that you want to be healed, do you mean that once you will be healed you will completely forget about this person and will not dwell on your ex on daily basis, 24/7?

or is it that the pain will be extinguished, you will not longer dwell on the ex, but you will still have much memories and think about this person from time to time and get a bittersweet feeling?

For me, the ideal healing would be stop thinking completely about her, that means forgetting her completely, be completely apathic and not carring when i see her or her picture anywhere, as if she is a stranger, and no the loosening of all the feelings i have to her so that her or a sight of her image will not be able to affect me in any way whatsoeer.

That was my ideal "being healed", now you tell me what is "being healed" in reality.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In my mind- and experience - the process of healing ends when you can look back at the relationship and the person you were with in it with fondness for the good things that came from it. And these should only be the occasional moments when you think about it.

 

If you can look back and think...."Even though she cheated or was a ...... etc, I hope she is doing well. I have forgiven her for what happened and forgiven myself for how I reacted. I'm glad it happened, it has added something to my life, but I am glad to have moved on." If there is still bitterness, regret, hatred; you aint over it and aren't fully healed. If you can meet up with the person and sit for 2 hours and just chat about things without feeling bad, hurt, wanting them, then you are healed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To me being healed is when I'm able to lay down at night and not dwell on things or eat my breakfast in the morning and not see her face swirling in my cornflakes. You'll have some relationships that'll end and it'll always be there; it may not hurt any longer but you'll never forget it a day in your life. They're called life lessons.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really like the words "life lessons" I am learning so much through the pain of this breakup that I know I am growing and am a better man because of it.

 

I too believe when you can appreciate the good in the relationship you had, take responsibility for your mistakes that caused it as well, and forgive the other person and want the best for them, you are on your way to healing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To me being healed is when you no longer have conflicting feelings about your relationship/ex in any way.

 

No "I want them, no wait I don't"

No "I don't ever want to see them again.... but I hope they call"

No "I hate him so much... but I love him"

 

^Those kinds of things. Anyone who's gone through a breakup can say that once they are healed, they don't dwell on those feelings. Oh sure, you might think a few years down the road that it'd be nice if they called but it's not something that you think about 24/7 or pray will happen. If you do, you're still not healed and not "over" them.

 

I know my ex and I have flaws and unfortunately I'm not sure I can ever forgive him for what he's done but to me, healing from this means accepting the way things are and not thinking negatively about it. I will fully admit that I'm not there yet completely but I know I'm well on my way. Some days I have this overall "meh" feeling, and some days I'm angry, but I can honestly say the sad days are few and far between.

 

I wish I could look back on the entire relationship and think fondly of it. I do look back on it somewhat fondly, but only in bits and for what I've learned from it.

 

It's only been just over 2 months since he left so I can safely say I still have that bitter taste in my mouth and a long list of things I want to say to him but that will pass and I feel that urge it is slowly washing away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...