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i'm crazy about this girl, and initially she was crazy about me too. things were going great until we both realized that neither of us is in a position to pursue a relationship right now (especially considering we live almost 6 hours apart).. so we agreed to put things on pause 21 days ago. we still talk, just not as often.. and it's kindof an unspoken agreement that we keep things platonic. the idea was that once late spring/early summer arrived, we'd be able to pick this back up and try again, as things should be easier and less hectic for us both by then.

 

i'm not so great at hiding my feelings for her. i let little things escape here and there, like i told her she was beautiful recently when she was having a bad day. she, however, is much better at hiding whatever feelings she has. so much so that it's made me question whether or not she still has them. i try to be optimistic as i was clearly driving her crazy before and i know logically she is trying to hold herself back.. but i still wonder. i need to be reassured that i'm not holding out for nothing. we both agreed that we could date other people if someone came along.. but i have zero interest in anyone but her. i need to know if it's okay for me to hold on or if i should be letting go.

 

so my question is this.. would it be unfair of me to just ask her if she still wants to try again when the time is right? i don't want to seem too pushy or insecure.. but i really, really like her.. and i don't want to waste my time if something has changed for her.

 

thanks to anyone who can help.

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I wouldn't ask, Just be there for her, keep in contact, say nice things like you have already been doing. I think to raise that question would be applying pressure, especially in a time where it doesn't really matter. As in, even you asked, and she said "oh for sure" you don't know how she would feel a few months down the road, she could easily change her mind, and you would have gotten your hopes up for nothing. In this position, you should expect nothing less than a friendship. This way, you don't set yourself up for dissapointment later on.

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I agree with Simply. There need be no pressure on this relationship for either one of you. Time might be very telling in terms of where things will go and in what manner. And you have nothing to lose by investing in a solid, supportive friendship with this girl. If you wind up together, romantically, in the end, you will find yourself on surer, more fundamental ground than most new couples coming together without a friendship first built.

 

I am sorry this is a struggle for you. I imagine it is very hard. Hang in there, On! We are rooting for you!

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