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After how long...


FoxMulder

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After how long of dating does women start taking initiatives herself and asking you out for dates? I have accepted the fact that as a man you always have to make the first move, I got no problem with that. But if the girl is intrested how long will it take until she asks you out for dates and starts taking the initiative to contact you? Is it always the man who has to do that everytime?

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For me, I'll ask for whatever I want. So, if I like you on the first date, I'll suggest something for the second date. For example..if we both enjoy hearing live music and I know of a good band playing at a local venue, I'll suggest hearing them.

 

And if I dont like you...I will let you know. I've played too many stupid games with dates before. So, I tell it like it is and ask for what I want.

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I may be strange, but the more I like a guy, the more I let him do things for me and take a more dependent/passive role. (Actually something I found the hard way I need to change.)

 

So usually in the beginning, I try to keep things pretty 50/50. If you invited me out once, I will reciprocate for the second time or suggest something. The same with paying. Mainly because I don't want to feel like I "owe" the guy.

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I may be strange, but the more I like a guy, the more I let him do things for me and take a more dependent/passive role. (Actually something I found the hard way I need to change.)

 

So usually in the beginning, I try to keep things pretty 50/50. If you invited me out once, I will reciprocate for the second time or suggest something. The same with paying. Mainly because I don't want to feel like I "owe" the guy.

 

But how is the guy supposed to know that you like him if you are passive and don't do anything?

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There is a difference between having a passive role, and not showing any interest.

 

A girl who is showing interest but is passive - will be affectionate, body language will show clear interest, she will normally accept any reasonable advances and will be keen to accept any offers to see more of each other. You can normally tell through prolonged eye contact, touching each other in little ways as much as possible, leaning in to you, smiling a lot, etc etc.

 

A girl who is not interested - will avoid meeting up, will gives excuses that don't stand up, will not welcome much physical contact and will probably.... stop agreeing to see you.

 

Honestly Fox, when you actually date a girl, you should find it easy enough to tell if she's interested. For a start - she'll agree to go out with you. Girls who aren't interested don't tend to go out with guys they don't like. If you've just met someone, you might date once or twice but then she'll probably stop accepting dates if she's not interested after that.

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After the guy has shown they are interested (ie. asked me out a few times and contacts me regularly), I will take initiative. Usually by date 4, I am the one who plans something... then it's fairly reciprocal after that - one time he will arrange it, the next I will...

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Well, its just a random process and impossible to answer. OP - I was extremely concerned about the lack of initiation from girls I have dated. I have been dating a girl for about 7 weeks now, and have initiated every single date so far but due to the fact that she was reciprocating and seemingly keen I kept suggesting dates. In the last few days, my chick has asked me out twice and its made my week. You just gotta be patient sometimes.

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