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I'm just a teen, does it still matter?


tradami

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I just need that encouragement over my first love, that she wasn't "The One".

 

I'm hurting and lost. I see her everyday at school (it kills me). She is so caring and understanding about the breakup that it almost makes me love her more. I want to be her friend but right now I can't.

 

What I want to know is, how many of you have felt this? Will any of this even matter once I'm older?

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I was 15 when I had my first serious relationship. We were together for 10 months. I didn't go to school with her but we worked together. So after we broke up I still had to see her at work. And I can relate to what you're saying, because she was so friendly ever after we broke up that it just made me want to get back with her...

 

But, not too long after that she quit. That made it easier to get over her because I didn't have to see her all the time.

 

Will it matter when you are older... I guess it depends. Breakups impact people differently. Now all these years later I don't even remember much about how bad it hurt when we broke up. I know that's hard to understand, but I don't. Obviously I was upset, but I don't remember the pain. I do remember the positive things about her and about our relationship. She was my first for a lot of things.

 

I know people have a tendency to downplay this when it happens to a teenager. It still hurts no matter how old you are.

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It sure matters and hurts no matter how old you are. My 17 yr old nephew and his girlfriend of 2 years broke up recently and he is still kind of hurt and upset over it. They loved each other and they were each others first loves.

 

I can only give you the same advice as I gave him. It hurts, and it will hurt but it will get better. Just give it time. It's hard especially when you see her at school, but they to hang out in places where she might not be as much. I realize this is difficult, but try your best or keep busy with your friends, maybe even using the library and try to do some homework or keep yourself busy. I realize this might seem like the hardest thing in the world now and it feels like you just want to die inside, but I assure you it will get better.

 

My nephew was lucky because he doesn't go to the same school as his ex, but they have the same friends. He and his buddies made a band, he got a guitar and is actually keeping himself very busy with the band after school. He also has a part time job and that helps take his mind of things. He actually told me yesterday he is slowly getting over it and even checking other girls out.

 

So keep yourself busy, read a book, listen to music, avoid things like MSN, FB, myspace and whatever else internet thing she uses.

 

good luck and remember, you are still so young, there will be so many girls after her and when you are in your 20's, 30's she will be just a girl you loved in school. I assure you of this. Keep smiling.

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Thanks both of you. I've been feeling slightly better. I'm no longer crying but that emptiness is still there. I can't seem to sleep past 6 A.M. regardless of when I go to bed. (Not sure what that's from) and it gets really lonely.

 

School seems pointless because the whole reason I even looked forward to school was to see her. I graduate in 2 months and then go to college in the fall. (I guess that's something to look forward to right?) But until then, I just have to live day by day.

 

As for friends? I don't really have any. I go to a small school (only about 70 people in my graduating class). I have a few friends but most of my "friends" weren't really my friends, They were just my girlfriend's friends who I knew.

 

I'm not so much "hurting" anymore I don't think. I mean, I am hurting but it's nothing like compared to last week. I still talk to her a little. Not sure if it's a step forward or a step back. By talking to her a little bit, it may make her miss me. If i were to go no contact, it may make her miss me but then I'm out of her life. She told me she still loves me and cares about me, and I know she does. She just says that she needs to be single for a while to learn more about herself. It's like we were giggling and smiling and laughing together, we got into a small argument and then the next day she thinks we should break up. And maybe she is right that she needs to be single for a while. In the couple days after our break-up, I couldn't help but to call her begging for her back. Of course I was hysterical and I could tell it was hurting her with every call I made. She would bawl her eyes out and say that she's sorry, that she know's it hurts and it's killing her too, but it will get better each day.

 

She truly is a caring person and I want her in my life but am I making a mistake by still talking to her? She's pretty much my only true friend. But what do I do?

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Always remember that if you do cry it's okay. Even if you cry for an hour or two. It's all good, if it makes you feel better. As for sleep, it definitely could be because the break up is affecting your sleep. It happens to all of us.

 

When you do get lonely, come on this forum, fill your time reading posts, or even just doing whatever you have to in order to keep sane and not feel lonely.

 

Look at it this way, you have only a few months until you graduate, you can concentrate on your future in the mean time and get as much info as your new school and people.

Concentrate on making friends there.

 

As for her loving and caring about you, when ever she says something like that make sure you tell her you really don't want to talk about it. Whats the point if you aren't together? It will just make you feel worse and make you miss her even more.

 

Don't talk to her. Keep your contact minimal. If she says HI at school say Hi back. If she trys to make small talk, be polite but don't go over board with talking to her. Remember, she ended it. You need to now concentrate on yourself.

 

If she text's you or whatever, don't reply, if you can't hold yourself from replying. Just be polite, don't go too much into chatting with her and keep it light and simple.

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