Jump to content

anxiety issues with breakup


chrisrk06

Recommended Posts

my girlfriend of 2 years wants some space from our relationship...i am really having trouble with the anxiety, she wanted space to begin with, while keeping the boyfriend girlfriend title. However, being the idiot i am i had a hard time giving her the appropriate amount of space and things have progressed to were she says she is "done". I really dont want this relationship to be over and I do want to give her the space she needs, however it scares me that after she has the space and time she will not want me anymore...any insight from women out there?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chris, I just read this and thought to myself "that is what happened to me". Really! It did!

 

Initially my ex wanted space, I didn't understand why, we both got anxious, I got depressed. Then we would work it out, and again he wants space, in a matter for a month we would "end it" and get back together probably 3 times. This went on for months and months!

Until December when he said it was completely over. Broke up for about a month, in mid January he came back to me, said he loved me, wanted a future with me, sure I asked him to come back, but he also talked about having kids and all that jazz.

He would be sad and say things to me like "his life is over, that he wants to end this life, that I will leave him eventually anyway". Unbeknown to me, he was chatting to other girls, emailing, asking them for dates and actually signed up to a dating site WHILE with me, while things between us were good!

 

I'm not trying to say this will happen to you, but one thing you need to find out is WHY she wants a break. What are her reasons, what she wants out of the relationship and what she wants from you. Period.

 

Second thing I will tell you is, NO MATTER, how hard it is for you to understand the break-up, your depression, anxiety whatever you are feeling now, DO NOT BEG OR PLEAD. Trust me on this. I have been down that road of begging/pleading/crying you name it I did it.

I was the typical ex that was nuts about him. I even sent him flowers that cost me $450 when HE DUMPED ME. He didn't even say Thank You. I actually had to ask him if he got them! Ridiculous right?!

 

If she wants to break up, say OK. If that is what you want so be it.

It will be hard, you will be hurting, there will be days when you think your life is over, you wont ever be happy, that she was everything, but trust me on this. One day you will wake up, refreshed and it wont be so bad anymore.

 

I have only in the past few days discovered my ex's cheating, and the REAL truth behind all his BS. I even emailed him asking if he wanted to explain it to call me. Do you think he called? NO! Didn't have a decent bone to even say "sorry".

 

Think of it this way, if she can be without you, YOU CAN BE WITHOUT HER.

If you truly love this girl and if she truly just feels that she needs a little break to clear her mind, and gives you a decent answer let her be then. Don't call, don't email, don't message. She will see that you respect her and are willing to give her space, and she might possibly come back.

 

For me it's too late, well actually not too late because now I wouldn't want him anyway and I'm glad I found out the truth (although I'm sure there are many more things I have no clue about).

 

Work on yourself, make yourself happy, do things just for YOU. If it's meant to be, if she loves you, if you love her, if down the line you both decide to make it work, then ultimately it will be your choice.

 

I just can't stress this enough, find out the REAL reason why she wanted a break, why she wants to break up now, and honor her request. But go No Contact right away. Don't run every time she misses you, you are NOT a toy.

Don't be available for her emotionally just when she needs it. Think of yourself also and how YOU feel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...